Is anyone else worried about their FH's bachelor party?

Ok, I get that his friends may not be great influences and big partiers (although to me personally this would raise a red flag if all his friends were like this) but if your FH is mature and responsible and a good guy, this shouldn't matter. He should be able to make his own decisions and be smart enough to stay out of trouble. If it is a serious concern that drugs and illegal stuff will happen (leaving the cheating issue aside) then your FH should be smart enough to leave and not get involved in that. I would also point out that if FH wants to do drugs, I'm sure he could easily do it where you live too. At the end of the day, he is an adult and hopefully he should be able to go away with some buddies for a few days without incident. If not, then you guys need to have a talk and you need to figure out if you want to marry someone that makes these choices.

I live 10 miles out of NY and I still trust mine to not act like an aashat regardless of what his friends do or where he is. I take several business's trips overseas and I trust him, as he trusts me, to not be an idiot wherever we are, however far or near we are from each other.

Why wouldn't I want to marry him? He has actually never lied to me. when he is out with his friends he always calls me and checks up on me, when I go out without him (which is rare) he calls a million times and finds excuses to invite himself lol. He doesn't do drugs, he doesnt cheat, he doesn't drink in access, actually he doesn't drink much at all except a rare occasion or 2. He takes care of me and always makes sure i'm safe and sound. I have no reason not to trust him just like all of you... BUT it doesn't mean i'm naive to think that these things cannot happen!

LOL! My fiance and all of his friends are too geeky- they are going to play laser tag and possibly play board games. I'm the one talking about going to a strip club.

Of course you are concerned about cheating, because you mentioned STD's (You don't get STD's from being arrested).

If you think like this about his friends, you may want to consider why he has them as friends? I've found that most guys pick guys just like them to be friends. Most guys I've dated who had friends I didn't like... eventually I found he was the same way.

Our wedding isn't till September but my MOH asked what I wanted to do for my bachelorette party. I told her get a party bus and go to a dueling piano bar for a couple hours and call it quits at midnight. But to be honest, when that time comes when FH guys start talking about his bachelor's party, I'm flat out telling him that he can't have one... a bit mean, yes. But that's how I feel about it.

Your FH should be a STRONG enough person that no matter who is around him, he makes the RIGHT choices. What I don't think you're understanding us say is that no matter WHO is around our FH/H's, we trust that they would NOT influence him into doing something stupid.

If they CAN influence him to do something stupid, they could do it anywhere, at any time. His friends can be a bad influence on him in NY, in Colombia, during his bachelor party or any damn day of the week, before or after your wedding.

How OTHER people act in their relationship should have no bearing on how YOU TWO act in your relationship. If it does, then you guys need to have a serious conversation.

He. Can't. Have. One?

Wow...

Anything can happen any day of the week. It's a waste of time and energy to argue about something that you don't expect to happen because you trust him to do the right thing. It's a waste of time to worry that he'll do drugs if you trust him to do the right thing.

Talk to him about going to an unsafe country. Worry that he could get kidnapped or shot. Don't worry about him drinking or drugging or sexing, because if he's as you've stated, none of those are the issue to worry about. At all.

I'd love to be there when you tell a grown man he can't do something. You aren't his momma, you're his future wife. You expect respect,he should too.

We decided to do a weekend getaway together. We are close to each other's friends and look at this as an opportunity to party rather than a "last night". We are doing Labor Day weekend (either in Tahoe or San Diego) and Saturday will be the solo days, the guys and girls will do their own thing for the day, dinner and night. We are getting a vacation rental too to make things more affordable and keeping the fun going after hours. Almost everyone is in a couple so it makes sense for us…everyone can get tipsy and then come back to their wives/hubbys rather than be so far away from each other. For a lot of people it's gonna be a weekend away from the kiddos. I trust him 100%…I think cheating would actually hurt him more than it would me. Part of the reason why I love the guy so much…he just wants to make me happy!

I am absolutely not worried at all. This is not always how I have been in past relationships -- I definitely have a history of being the "jealous type." But, this is how I know the FH is the one for me...I trust him immensely and have no concerns over his behavior.

@Soon-2-B Mrs. K He can't have one? WTF?

I agree with other Erin and Just Reenski. If you 100% trust him and has not done anything to indicate that he'd be responsible on the trip, then it's a non issue. The fact that you are making an issue of it shows that you might not actually trust him. If it's truly just about the country he is going to then worry about that and not the drugs or cheating that you brought up. If they are smart about themselves, don't go into bad areas and keep their wits about them, they will most likely be fine.

No. He's a grown man he can do what he wants. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

I am confused, OP are you trying to convince us of something? Are you wanting him not to go, ideas how to forbid him? Telling us our FH's/Dh's could cheat? Other than statistics and airing your FH's best friends and family's dirty laundry on a public forum, I'm not sure what the point is? I'm not being snarky, just genuinely curious here.

Just because his friends do shitty things does not necessarily mean that your FH will do the same.

Hahaha, I trust him 100% but just to be silly I told him he was limited to a breakfast at IHOP with his groomsmen Hangover 2 style while I partied with my bridesmaids and the thunder from down under in Vegas LOL

First of all sorry but if youc annot trust him to watch his drink and not allow someone to "drug him" you are not marrying a man you are marrying a child.

You are worried about cheating or you would not have brought up STD's.

You are trying to make other people seconed guess our SO's and guess what, you are just making me thankful I married the man I married.

I really think that you should realize that birds of a feather flockt ogether, and it sounds like he keeps some company I would not be happy about, think about why that is. H and I do not hang around people we know cheat on their spouses etc because we have nothing in common with said people.

I'm sorry if my last post has shocked some people. No, he can't have one. There was a mishap that had happen in the past year with him being unfaithful. So no, he doesn’t get one. Personally, he doesn’t deserve one. But those are my problems. Everyone has their own. Sorry. Don’t bash me.

I don't think it's so much about trust... I'm sure you trust him. But things happen! I've seen many cases where the "faithful" FH gets lured into cheating either because of peer pressure (those stupid friends that are always up to no good!) or too much drinking that you lose your mind! And you're in the moment. I don't think you're wrong for being a bit nervous, especially if you worry about some of his friends. Strippers are dirty and will do ANYTHING for an extra buck. Just talk to him or to someone close to him to make sure to take care of him. Tell him what you're worried about.

I know what it's like to have someone actually be unfaithful to me, but this goes beyond a bachelor party. What about guys night out? A friend's bachelor party? What about OTHER scenarios besides HIS specific bachelor party. Reenski made a point by saying it can happy at ANY time. If there's no trust, then there's no relationship. Period. No one can keep tabs on a person 24/7 and if they do, it creates a divide between the two. If he or she can't keep their pants zipped up while they're with you, then they don't deserve to be with you.