Is a December wedding selfish?

Your intention is good, but it honestly is a disruptive time to get married if you have a lot of out of town guests. Travel costs more, the money to travel cuts into the Christmas budget, that's added time off work (or they have to steal the vacation days from the rest of the year - which means they don't take a vacation over the summer, or a shorter one). Hotel bookings are hard to come by because companies put their employees up for holiday parties. Restaurants are hard to book for rehearsal dinners because the of the same reason.

You have to decide what is most important to you: getting married during the holiday season or having more of your loved ones there.

Depending on what kind of work your friends do, a lot of industries (retail, food service, hospitality, etc) won't let ppl take off around the holidays at all just bc it's too busy. So, even if they have a lot of notice, they won't be able to take the time off.

What about a January/February wedding? You could still have a cozy winter-type feel, but the timing may be a little bit more convenient. . .

^^ what sunshine Jenn said.

Those that really want to be there, will be.

We had a November 30 wedding. It was the weekend after thanksgiving. I didn't expect so many people to come.

It's your wedding, your anniversary, your memories. Do what makes YOU happy.

Hmmm.... seems to me, whenever you pick, people have to take off work, thus using vacation time they would have used some other time. It's true hotels could be a consideration, but I think you'll get whining whenever you pick.

I personally wouldn't be able to attend a wedding near Christmas. I can't request any days off before November and January 1st so it would be impossible for me whether I want to go or not.

I have a Jewish friend who got married on 12/23, because it would be hard for his Christian friends to come and it made it cheaper for him...

Some companies won't let employees take off during holidays and some companies won't let people request time off over a year in advance. Also that means that they can't spend time with their family so if they have something with their in-laws that they usually do they then can't so they can travel to your wedding.

I wouldn't say you are being selfish for wanting that time but those are also things to think about.

I am having a July 4th wedding and have heard similar statements. Full hotels, cost being higher, people having to sacrifice vacation time. In reality, people will have to take time off if you have a lot of out of towners. But something to consider, Christmas is a tough time of year, with so many parties, family commitments and people already spending a lot of money. If you really want to get married at Christmastime , consider having a smaller wedding. That way you can get married when you want with less the worry!

Call me "selfish", but we are having our wedding on 12/13/14! I haven't heard anything negative about our date from any guests. It's our wedding and it's what we want- those who can come, will come!!

What future mrs H said.

I don't think you are selfish, but a chirstmas wedding brings a lot of problems. weather being a big one. a round a bout relation of mine got married first part of january and managed to have her wedding in the middle of a winter emergency!

here's the article:

http://www.post-gazette.com/frontpage/weather/2010/02/07/A-real-winter-wedding/stories/201002070292

btw: the article didn't cover half of what went wrong that day. but, they had stories to say the least!

I'm selfish too then..12/13/14 also! Luckily everyone we know who are coming are military , teachers, or work for the military so if I am off, they are off. Our date only screwed us out of honeymooning since school is not out and then when it is out a week later, it is Christmas.

Yay for date twins!! I'm also a teacher so we are honeymooning from dec 19-27! We decided spending our first Christmas as a married couple in Costa Rica would be amazing!

Depending on how close to Christmas you want to get married will determine travel costs. I have the week of Christmas off due to work and my travel agent insisted that it was the most expensive week to travel. She was right. I scheduled my honeymoon just a week before and it saved me hundreds. I will second that anyone who wants to come, will find a way!

Thank you for the input everyone! My fiance and I talked it over last night and decided to come up with a few alternative dates that can still tie into a Christmas theme. (Mid-Nov or early Jan).

It's one year. It's not like all of your guests will be expected to make the trip to do this all over again every year. As long as you give your guests notice they should have plenty of time to make appropriate accommodations. Plus, your wedding is the 5th. It's not like it's the 20th.

I had a good friend get married 12/28/13 this past year. She had a great turn out and I didn't hear any complaints about the timing. Plus, with picking that date she was able to find a venue that was available despite planning her wedding in only 7 months. Do what is best for you two!

I don't think it's selfish, but I do think it might be difficult for some guests to attend for financial reasons. We are invited to a destination wedding this December and although I'd love to go, I just don't know if it will fit in our budget.

My wedding was the week after Paris', so the week after thanksgiving

we confirmed with our VIP guests (parents, siblings, other important people that we reeeeally wanted there) that they would be able to make it. thankfully we grew up in the same town and most of our families are fairly local. some people truly cannot take time off between Thanksgiving and New Year's - I have friends who work in retail who just truly couldn't do it. But there are always going to be people who can't make it. For us as long as the most important people were there we didn't mind.

You are not being selfish. Either they will come, or they won't. If you don't mind some people not being able to make it so you can still have your dream, then go for it! Christmas/winter weddings are beautiful and it's your day!!!