Inviting those you hope won't come...

I'm sending invites to some of my cousins who live on the other side of the country and have several kids under 8. I don't expect them to actually come to the wedding, but I want them to know that I'm thinking about them and they're important to me. Also to just let them know that I'm getting married, so they still know what's going on even if they can't make it.

The only person we're inviting that we're hoping doesn't come is my FH's sister. She's had major problems with the family, but we feel like we have to invite her, we're just hoping she won't show up.

I invited tons of people I knew couldn't come (since it was a destination wedding), however, if they had come I would have loved it. I think you send invites to people who if they could, you would love for them to be there. however, you have to give them the chance to rsvp that they can't, because you just never know.

We are planning to send some invites to a few close family members we know won't come because of the distance. I think it's more of a common courtesy to let them know their presence is desired, even if we know it's not realistic.

As far as people we don't want there- yeah, you're not getting an invite- I don't care who you are!

Well I think you send invites to family you know won't come because they want to share a little bit in the festivities by seeing the invite and this way they can also send wedding gifts. I don't plan on giving invites to everyone I work with ( 200 people) because half of them I don't want to come because they're not my friend outside of work and because I'm gettin married memorial weekend on our busiest saturday and I know not everyone will be able to get off work. I don't want people gettin off work for my wedding that I didn't want coming in the first place and others that I do want there not being able to get off work.

Yeah, I invited lots of those people. Fortunately, I was right, and they're not coming.

I don't want to invite my uncle and his now-wife, but since it's my mom's brother and his mom will raise hell, it's just better off inviting them.

Yes! I'm inviting a good bit of people that I am hoping will not come. That is also part of the reason we decided to get married on a Wednesday night! lol

Well I invited people that I knew couldn't come b/c of many reasons but I did anyways to make then know that we were thnking of them and would like to let the know that even though I knew they are unable to attend that they were still included b/c we are after all family. Just think of it this way. : )

I'm definitely sending "courtesy invites" to extended family who probably won't make it. It's the right thing to do.

I'm sending invites, especially to older family members whom I know won't be able to make it, out of respect. I think it's important that they know I would have liked to have had them there.

Of course, there's always a few other guests whose absence you wouldn't fret over. ;o)

I'm inviting my horrible aunt and uncle, hoping and praying they won't come and knowing they probably won't come.

Let me put this in perspective. They were invited to my brother's wedding, RSVPed 'no' without a note of regret on the card, then pitched a fit when my aunt, who wouldn't have come anyway, wasn' invited to the bridal shower.

I've already decided that if they do decide to come, we're putting them at the kiddie table.

There are family members I sent invites too strictly because if I didn't I would NEVER hear the end of "Well, why wasn't I invited if they were?" Those people still didn't come but had I not sent an invite at all they would have been offended if I hadn't. They are family I haven't seen in years too.

I invited a few people I knew wouldnt come, but didnt invite anyone that I hoped wouldnt come. Everyone I invited I really want to be with us. I really wish we had a bigger budget because I really wanted to invite a bunch more.

We invited a lot of people who realistically will not make the wedding, but as a courtesy, not hoping they couldn't come.

Im inviting quite a few people I know wont come. I was raised in FLorida....now live in COlorada and am getting married out here. Some, are people Id love to know they are invited even though I know they wont make the trek out here. Some are my parents friends that they wanted to invite-and since I know they wont make the trek-it wasnt worth arguing over inviting them (a few Ive met like once).

It is a sticky situation ... I'm from a very large family and we all get together every June for a family reunion but other than the reunion we don't really talk ... but I really don't want to go to the family reunion in June of 2012 with new husband in tow and get the whole why wasn't I invited ... so I'm just inviting my entire family and even got permission from my mom to invite some of her sisters she doesn't really talk to the wedding ... I kinda don't want them to come for fear of an all out fight. but it is what it is

Yes. "Courtesy invites"--that is exactly the right term for it!

There are always those people you have to invite. Then there is the other side, being the invitee. I got invited to an out of state wedding from a co-worker, I only knew a few months. I thought I got the invite as a formality, as several people we worked with were invited. Nope, turns out she was surprised when she got the RSVP, that I would not attend. Oops. I don't think it's wrong to hope some people won't come. You are real. People affect the cost and fun dynamic of the wedding. It will be alot easier on both those inviting and the invitees, when we move beyond this formality.

We are inviting people we know won't come. They are mostly relatives who live very far away.

Yes, I'm inviting a lot of family members I haven't seen in years (or decades). My parents traveled long distances for their weddings (and bought gifts/cash), so I'm curious to see who will return the favor. I even flew to Alaska for my cousin's wedding (we had a falling out after she did something pretty crappy behind my back), but she's getting an invitation on principle.

We're getting married in upstate NY, and my family is in western PA, OH, and Alaska, so out of the 70 or so I'll invite from my side, I'd be surprised if 15 came (and that 15 includes my parents & 2 sisters, lol).