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LadyCrystal
VIP November 2023

Inviting My Psychotic Mother To The Wedding?

LadyCrystal, on June 20, 2013 at 4:19 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 24

I'm getting married in a few months & have not invited my mother yet. I know that may sound horrible to some of you but my mother has a history of being violent and verbally abusive. She does not know where I live for safety reasons & is in denial that she has ever done anything wrong. For the past...

I'm getting married in a few months & have not invited my mother yet. I know that may sound horrible to some of you but my mother has a history of being violent and verbally abusive. She does not know where I live for safety reasons & is in denial that she has ever done anything wrong.

For the past 10 years she has tried to make any celebrations for me into a complete nightmare (beating me viciously before my graduation, attacking me at work, calling my Fiance vile names, trying to convince me that he will cheat on me, even going so far as to call me on my birthday & tell me she is disgusted that he did not ask her permission to marry me, mind you he didn't call her because he figured she would make my engagement all about her).

I'm trying to be forgiving and would honestly want my mother to be there just for a chance of having a normal moment. What should I do?

and as a side note, how the hell do I word the invitations if I'm not inviting her.

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24 Comments

  • Sherry
    Expert July 2014
    Sherry ·
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    Continued...

    My mother is a huge part of this wedding. She is even now helping me pay for it (as much as she can she is on disability) Try talking with her. Maybe even try counseling with her a few sessions?

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  • LadyCrystal
    VIP November 2023
    LadyCrystal ·
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    @Sherry at what point do I stop including her? She is mentally ill and knows it, and refuses medication. The physical violence is only toward me. do I take the chance that I have a black eye and cut face as I walk down the aisle? I want a normal moment but do I continue to put myself in danger? It's a hard choice

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  • Just Reenski
    Master December 2012
    Just Reenski ·
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    If she has a mental illness and refuses help, then that's on her. You CANNOT put yourself in harm's way to help someone that refuses to help themselves. If you've tried and tried and tried to repair the relationship to no avail, you've done all you can do.

    It's one thing if the other person can see if they have issues and is truly willing to work on them, but that doesn't sound like the case with you. Undiagnosed issues and denial of known issues are different things.

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  • LadyCrystal
    VIP November 2023
    LadyCrystal ·
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    @Just its not fair to me FH, His family and my friends who will be there for me regardless to be in a dangerous situation. You are right

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