VIP October 2011

Inviting Friends you haven't spoken to in awhile?

Krystal, on June 15, 2010 at 4:06 PM Posted in Planning 0 29
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Is anyone doing this?

I had a lot of friends from high school that I have on FB and Myspace (even though I hardly use myspace anymore) and I've been throwing back and forth whether or not to invite them. We were really close my senior year but when I started college I didn't talk to any of them basically because I was too busy with school and work.

My MOH said I shouldn't invite them if I think they will cause drama, which we're kind of expecting drama already, because of the FMIL.

My FH never met his dad until last year, and I'm not worried about his Dad getting along with his mom, it's his mom were worried about getting along with his dad.

I feel like I should invite them because we were really close in high school and stuff but i"m just seeking some opinion on it from someone else who is doing this.

Also, by "not spoken in awhile" I mean I have talked to them in the past 2 years since I graduated, but not hardcore talked to them. (Cont next post)


  • GreenEyes61711
    Super June 2011
    GreenEyes61711 ·

    We made a rule that if we haven't talked to them in the last year we're not inviting them, because honestly it would just cost too much!

  • JessSquared
    Super July 2010
    JessSquared ·

    I've got some friends that I was very close to in high school and even for a few years after but have drifted away from in more recent years, I did not invite them. It just seemed to me that my wedding is for family and close current friends. If i hadn't talked to them face to face at least once in the last year, they didn't even get considered.

  • K
    VIP October 2011
    Krystal ·

    And as far as budgeting goes, It's not an issue because the majority of our guests is my family, my FH has a small family (Only inviting 60 people with his friends and co-workers), so my mom and dad said they would foot the catering/food bill because my family alone is 100 Guests.

  • ladylee
    Master June 2010
    ladylee ·

    The one year rule would simply not work for me b/c I am horrible about keeping in touch. My guest list wasn't large to begin with but I had a handful of friends from undergrad and graduate school that I hadn't talked to in forever but wouldn't DREAM about not inviting them to my wedding. But again, MY guest count was small. DH had to adhere to a different set of rules but his list was twice the size as mine. Do what makes the most sense for your space and budget restrictions.

  • K
    VIP October 2011
    Krystal ·

    My family alone is 100 Plus Guests, the plus symbol didn't go in, Sorry guys!

  • Heather
    Super July 2010
    Heather ·

    I decided not to. FS and I talked about it and we decided that unless we regularly see these people we aren't inviting them. We don't want people to think that they're invited just because we 'used' to be friends. So unless we've hung out with them in the past year or so...sorry charlie

  • K
    VIP October 2011
    Krystal ·

    And Venue can hold up to 500 people and the "invite list" with my family, FH's family friends and coworkers is at 194, but we're only expecting 170-180 to show up out of that list.

  • V
    Just Said Yes December 2011
    Vanessa ·

    Well depending in your vision for your wedding. Do you want a huge party with a bunch of people (including complete strangers) that add to downtown party scene there for the food and drinks, or would you prefer an intimate sentimental wedding with close family and friends that can look truly appreciate the moment.

  • R
    Devoted July 2010
    Rachel ·

    We decided not to invite all the people that we don't keep in touch with. Just because they are not invited, doesn't mean you don't like them; you just have to draw the line somewhere. The people that should be there to help you celebrate your wedding day should be the people that you are close to and that know you and your FS spouse well. I'm sure that a lot of things have changed since high school. We did have some people that we were on the fence about and to help us decide we asked ourselves, "if we were invited to their wedding would we go?, or would we be surprised that they invited us?

  • AllisonCarol08
    Dedicated December 2010
    AllisonCarol08 ·

    I'm kind of having this debate in my head recently too. A few people that I used to be really close to, I want to invite them just because I want to see them. Haha that may seem crazy, but I feel that way nonetheless.

    And most of them are from high school, etc. So I feel your pain. I don't think I'll invite people I haven't even corresponded with in the last year, but anyone that I still consider a friend will get an invite. Anyone that I feel like I could call tomorrow and they wouldn't say "oh, you're getting married??" and I consider a friend, will get an invite I suppose. I never had a million friends in high school either though, so maybe thats just me too.

  • Mrs shdvl
    Master July 2012
    Mrs shdvl ·

    Unfortunatley due to budget we are only inviting family. Even my Mom's roommate/bestfriend is getting the b list due to how much we can spend on catering. My FH's cousins might also get the axe unfortunatley. His list is 60 people mine at most 20.

  • digiscrappy
    Super July 2010
    digiscrappy ·

    We invited a few people that we haven't been as close with over the years, but who have meaningful significance in our past. All of them really wanted to attend, but have declined (mostly due to travel expense). I still wanted to send an invitation because I wanted to remind them that they hold that meaning in my life.

  • Future Mrs. P
    Super October 2010
    Future Mrs. P ·

    Guilty of not reading what anyone elses posts say here but- I would invite them. It's only been 2 years since high school so its not like you've lost complete touch with them. You will see as you get older friends start weeding out and when you get to be my age, high school friends are no longer part of your guest lists. Around the age of 21 all those people start to come back into your life as you will start to see them all out and about on the scene. So right now in your life it would be ideal to invite the people you were close to then.

  • FutureWifey925
    Dedicated September 2010
    FutureWifey925 ·

    Do what you want about inviting them but they are probably going to look at it the way I am looking at it.

    If you don't talk to me in 6 months to 1 year or longer a wedding invitation looks like a desprite cry for gifts or money. Me & all of my friends agree on that.

    Some girls I went to HS with are on my FB & regularly comment on my wedding plans & are really fun and upbeat but I am not inviting them simply because we are only FB buddies and none of them talked to me in HS. It's close family and a few friends for us, thats it. Our venus holds 160. I invited 156.

  • Joyce
    Super April 2011
    Joyce ·

    I am inviting a couple of people that I have not physically seen since HS and I am in the upper bracket of age <30 But that is because they live pretty close and I would LOVE to see her again... I also have a friend of mine that I am inviting from Texas but I just saw him in March when I went to visit my daughter.

  • S
    VIP March 2011
    STB Mrs Van Blargan ·

    Thank you for the discussion, this helped with deciding who was coming to mine. Because I also had the same problem.

  • Laura
    VIP June 2011
    Laura ·

    I am also having the same problem. I have a handful of friends that I am not sure if I should invite or not. We use to be so close, however as we graduated we somewhat grew apart. I think that I might put them on a B list and see how my first set of invites go.

  • MRW82584
    Super July 2010
    MRW82584 ·

    IMO you have enough time before your invites go out, try talking to them again weither it be on FB or myspace and if y'all chat it up like old times and stay chatting until the invites go out then invite them. If you try talking to them and the conversation fizzels and it's like your two different people now don't invite them.

  • kelseyj
    VIP August 2010
    kelseyj ·

    My cut off was if I haven't really talked (like i have to talk to them less than twice) in a year then they weren't invited... I really had to cut my guest list down to save money and space so i had to decide somewhere... yes we were really close in HS but I'm not the same person I was in HS and neither are they. We've just grown apart and even if I would love them to be at the wedding, I don't have it in the budget... I'd rather use the money to invite closer friends or people that I actually talk to now...

  • J&Z
    Expert March 2011
    J&Z ·

    I'm in the same boat. FH and I compiled a guest list and I compiled a shower list for my girls from that main list. We didn't have an A or B, just one list w/ about 180 people. Now there are some couples on there that my FH is closer w/ than I am, so do I still invite their wives/long-term significant others? I think it can get very sticky. Then I have other girlfriends that I speak to online, but haven't gone out w/ for a drink, movie, or something in a year or so. What to do, what to do.

    @Krystal, IMO I think that you should invite whom you'd want to see there on your wedding day. If the people you were referring to don't make that list, then don't invite them.

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