Invites + Pre-nup

My parents are divorced and my dad is footing the bill without my moms help. I wanted to recognize him but not offend her either. Ended up just starting it with “the pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of” and not including anyone’s name lol

I am not sure if anyone will remember the wording of the invitation by the time the wedding happens. Maybe including that will be incentive to FH's attending.

My parents are helping out significantly with our wedding (I'm incredibly grateful for this) and my fiancé's parents have not offered and--of course, knowing them--won't be able to, which is obviously more than fine.

We're still saying "together with their families." Some parents/hosts do wan tot be legitimately recognized on invites, but both families have supported the relationship in their own ways. I'm not sure how you feel about this with your in-laws--I do agree with PP that saying "We request they honor of your presence" might be the best course of action in this situation.

We are saying together with their families. My parents are helping us with the venue and catering and my FH's dad is footing the bill for the rehearsal dinner and 2/3 kegs of beer and wine for the reception.

Even if you are unsure if they will attend the wedding (even though weddings do have a way of bringing people together! literally lol), if you still plan on inviting them to the wedding - which I 1,000% think that you should - then it couldn't hurt to put "together with their families" if it is important to your parents.

Otherwise, my next best suggestion would be to scrap it altogether! There are so many different ways to word wedding invitations, and with a quick google search you may find one that is worded perfectly for the two of you, without any parent awkwardness

I hope things smooth out with your FH and FFIL! Good luck planning!

Our said "Please come to the wedding of X and Y..." which was simple and clear and worked just fine.

Unless his parents are the only family members he is having, using "together with their families" will still apply so I don't see why you couldn't or wouldn't still use that if that is what you had originally decided on.

I ended up saying "[parents names] request you presence at the wedding of." Originally I had no intention of saying anyone's name because there wasn't a need to. My parents did come out of nowhere and pay off the entire venue, food and then some. I felt wrong to not give them this moment that they have been waiting for their entire life. I am an only daughter so I thought why not give credit where it is due.

Our families didn’t pay for anything but we still put “together with their families”.. there is no right or wrong way and it doesn’t indicate anything anymore.

I would say "together with their families" or "together with their loved ones", it's the easiest and most general way to include everyone and not point out specific people. My father paid for pretty much our entire wedding, my mother & stepfather contributed some, my father in law paid for the rehearsal dinner, and his mother didn't pay for anything. It would have been weird to specifically name off the ones paying more or who are more involved or attending.

Is there a real reason for your FH's dad wanting him to do a pre-nup? Did his had experience a marriage that went south and someone got screwed (its normal to want to protect your kid) or does he just not trust you or your relationship?

Anyway, I think its fine to say "together with their families" even if some family doesn't attend, especially if you both actually want to recognize your families. There are many reasons why family members might not be able to attend a wedding even without any friction, so I don't think whether or not his parents are going to attend should impact what you put on your invite. If anything I think including them in the invite wording somehow would open the door for them feeling welcome to attend and actually wanting to go. I do think putting just your family on the invite is a great way to drive a further wedge between your FH and his family though, so I'd probably avoid that. If it is important to your mom that she is recognized and your only thoughts about leaving off your FH's family is because they aren't talking right now, then I'd probably err on the side of including both and hoping things smooth over between your FH and his dad between now and the wedding day. At the very least, I think including them makes the two of you the "bigger people" and doesn't turn your wedding into something petty for a further argument.

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I love the phrase "together with their loved ones" because I think that recognizes family as well as people close to the couple who may not be related by blood or marriage but who are still significant to those getting married. We certainly have stronger relationships with some of our friends than our blood relatives, so I like that this phrasing includes them too.

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Thank you everyone for your comments and a special thanks to Kari! I also love "together with their loved ones" it's perfect. Many of our friends are just like family.

Per the pre-nup, his family owns two houses in Washington, D.C., so worth some money which he stands to inherit and, his dad is a lawyer. So nothing about me personally just wants to make sure his son alone gets 100% of their assets. I think there could be a workaround somehow, but he's pretty set in his ways.

Definitely agree with being the bigger person.

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Ooh sorry didn't see you also suggested this! Love "together with their loved ones"

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Yes got that from MrsD's comment. I think we are going to use that on our own invite. Love threads like this that share awesome ideas!

Inheritance is not community property unless you commingle it with mutual funds (e.g. take the inheritance check and deposit it in your joint account). How can a lawyer not know that?