Invited to Jack and Jill party but not the wedding

This is the first time that I have heard of a "Jack and Jill" fundraiser, I always thought showers were referred to as "Jack and Jill" when they are co-ed. So basically it's a GoFundMe but in person? Well had I known this was a thing .... no really though, RUDE AF!

I would be declining immediately.

So basically you are paying the dinner for somebody else that is actually invited to the wedding. Ha!! The crap people come up with. Unbelievable!

Ugh these are common in my area and I hate them. Even if you're invited to the wedding, I hate them. In my area, lots of people feel like me but a lot of guys in this area feel like it's no big deal and buy tickets for people they barely know

We have one next week. The worst part is fh feels guilty if he doesn't buy a ticket, so we're going bc he felt like he had to buy a ticket whether he went or not and if we're going to spend money on a ticket then we mine as well go and eat the food

Fh went to another one this summer too where it was guys only but same thing.

I had never heard of these things before coming to WW and I am still floored that this is a thing. It's disgusting IMO.

Yes...that's kind of the point of a jack and jill, to invite lots of people who aren't necessarily going to the wedding, or else it's like a mini wedding where all the same people are there that will be at the actual shindig.

Not saying it's right - jack and jills are not my thing - but that is part of the whole 'purpose'

I've never seen one at $55 a ticket though. Usually something like $25 per person/$40 per couple

F no do not go to that...that is so freaking rude of the couple.

I had never heard of them until meeting my FH but apparently they're a thing. I've been to them and even won a portable grill at one. $55 is a lot though. I think I paid maybe $15 for the one I went to for FH's cousin and now wife. It's a little odd to me but it's what some folks do.

I have never heard of this!!! Sounds crazy, and I would never have one, but if it's a tradition for some I would attend, not for 55 bucks but if it's someone I cares about and that's what they wanted I would go, for like 25 bucks. Lol

Don't go. Send them a Miss Manners book as a gift.

Hubby and I were invited to one for someone we didn't even know. We were invited by a friend of ours who was also friends with the couple. I don't remember how much it cost to go but we didn't go. I still can't believe we were invited and we didn't even know the couple. Who okayed that guest list?

Yes you still give a shower and wedding gift. Jack and Jill's are very popular in my area. Flyers go out and people that don't even know the couple show up. They go to jack and Jill instead of a club. It's the hot thing to do on a Friday or Saturday night. People make like $10k off their parties. They will never die out no matter how tacky they are.

ETA: companies actually donate items to jack and jills. And the bridal party is responsible for securing items for the raffles

What. The. Actual ....

I have -thankfully- never heard of this type of event it sounds so unbelievably bizarre!!!!

How can people afford to give away grills and prizes and host this type of "party" but need people to give money for their wedding? Even if their friends pay for this...they should just give the couple the money for their wedding instead of being so incredibly vomit inducingly tacky!

I would be so embarrassed to beg my friends and coworkers for money. These types of fundraisers are for people with cancer or in horrible accidents, not for throwing a wedding. Disgusting.

I'm with PP...I always thought Jack and Jill was a coed shower. This is crazy!!

In the areas of Canada where Jack and Jills are held, invitations commonly go out to anyone and everyone. Some wedding parties put ads in the local paper in small towns. The admission tickets are reasonable, they have cheap drinks, dancing, games and raffles.

It is really not fair to say whether we would, or would not do the same, if you weren't raised in that culture. If you grew up with almost everyone having a Jack and Jill, you probably would too.

As with any invitation you are free to decline.

That is intense... and just... weird.

Jack n' Jills are disgusting. We knew a couple that had one and charged $75 per person and invited everyone they knew basically. Nasty.

I was invited to one and they're not even common in my area, AND I wasn't invited to the wedding. An ex coworker invited me and a bunch of other people to his. We had to Google it because none of us knew wtf it was. It was an easy decline. I know there are people, some on here, who are just so fucking thrilled to go parties to celebrate an event they're not invited to but I value my free time too much. Also, buying raffles for the NHSPCA, cancer or diabetes research, or any disease related research are all noble causes. Buying raffle tickets to fund someone's wedding is not.

I think not. I'd be embarrassed throwing that. It takes a lot of guts to invite someone to a pre wedding event and not the wedding for the sake of paying for the wedding. I'm pretty sure that's not a thing here and I could just imagine people's faces in the south trying to explain this concept. The shock and horror lol.