Invited Guests of Bachelorette Don't Want to Pay Anything

If you're invited to celebrate a night out with the bride, then you pay for your own food/drinks. Now if there are other things like a hotel/community food, then I would expect the host to have that part covered. But if you're going out to a restatement or bar, as a guest you need to pay for your own drinks.

@FutureMrsW:

I don't think it's idiotic they would ask additional guests to pay for their bill . It is a Bachelorette party. If the additional girls can not afford to go or do not want to pay, they decline the invitation. Pretty simple.

I don't know why these additional women expect a free night out at the BMs' expense. It sounds like they're rude and tacky ones, IMO.

As far as paying for the bride, OP--I think the bridal party should cover her costs.

I was always told you pay for yourself weather or not you are a BM or not! They don't have to pay for the bride. But like others said they have declined it sounds like

If the non BMs choose to attend, then they also need to pay. I've gone to many bachelorette parties and every splits the cost, it's not divvied up by who is in the wedding and who isn't. That's absurd.

Any bachelorette part I've been a part of was split equally by all guests (except for the bride).

Every bachelorette I've been to everyone has paid their own way!

I agree with @A 100%. I am from MD, I have been a BM in 6 weddings and have attended even more bachelorette parties as a guest.

What you're describing is ALWAYS what happens. I think you've handled everything really well about being upfront about the costs and different options because not everyone may want to stay the night, etc. I have NEVER been to a bachelorette party where I didn't pay for my accommodations, food, drinks and activities. If they do not want to pay/can't pay, they don't have to attend.

You don't invite people to a party of any sort and make them pay. So gross.

@nancyd I think it's gross if the invited guests expect to pay nothing. They need to at least cover themselves.

Is the problem that they just don't want to contribute to the cost of the brides portion? Or they don't want to pay for their own portions?

In my experience, every guest pays for their own portion of the events. If they don't want to participate in certain parts, they don't pay for those or they just don't attend at all if they aren't able to. The hosts of the party have always covered the brides portion of costs. If others want to and offer to contribute to the brides cost ( hotel stay, drinks, dinner, etc) that's great bit not required. The hosts should factor those costs into their own budgets.

I'm not sure why you even have an "option c" listed for them to only contribute to the brides costs. If they aren't participating in the party why would they pay for her? An invite does not mean they are required to participate.

I am very confused and believe those women are right. I am pretty sure that it is up to whoever is hosting the party to pay such costs. If it's something that the BMs can't afford on your own then maybe it's too much. If you are taking on the responsibility to plan this party then plan what you can afford without help from others. This is why typically the only people attending the bachelorette party are the bride and BMs. Inviting other guests becomes far too expensive to manage.

When my sister got married, I sprung for a limo and hotel suite for those who wanted to stay the night. I did not ask for help, but I took from those that offered to help with those. Everything else, dinner, drinks, box karaoke... everyone paid for themselves except I covered the bride.

I recently went to a bachelorette party for a friend (where I was not a BM). I paid for my hotel, food and drinks. It only got sticky at one point during the trip. We went for a spa day, and I just got a pedicure (bc I couldn't afford anything else), and when we were getting ready to leave the BMs said we were all going to chip in to pay for the bride's treatments. It came to about $75pp. This was an expense I hadn't budgeted or planned on spending, and (although I agreed to chip in) I think I was being awkward. In the end the MOH decided to just have the bridal party pay for the treatments since they didn't give any of the attendees a heads up on their plan. Overall, I felt really bad and cheap! So I'd say it's ok for your girls to pay their own way, but if there will be extras where they have to pay for the bride, just give them a heads up and let them choose if the party is still in their budget or not.

I always paid for myself at these things.

IMO, bridal party that is hosting is responsible for covering the costs for themselves and the bride. The other attendees should cover their own cost:

I have never gone to a bachelorette party and had the bridesmaids pay for me, that would be so weird. I think a PP said it best - the bride is the guest of honor, not the other non-BM friends. If it's too expensive then they don't have to go. I've declined portions of bachelorette parties because it was too much and just met them for a different part.

If it's just their own food, drinks, and admittance to the escape room I would expect them to pay for themselves. Hotel or bus or whatever I could see just the BMs paying for

Well, maybe I'm in the UO, but I feel that if these women are attending, they should pay for themselves. The hosts of the bridal shower need to pay for everything, but not the bachelorette party. For mine, we got a room, rented a cabana at a club with bottle service and went to a male review. Everyone paid for themselves, INCLUDING ME, and I'm the bride!!

If these women don't want to pay or can't afford it, then they don't go. It shouldn't be up to the bridal party to pay for women outside of the bridal party to go out for the night. Just explain that you understand if it's expensive, which it isn't (each person including myself paid 200 for everything for my party) and if they can't afford it that they will be missed.

I've never been to a bachelorette where I didn't cover my own costs. Sometimes everyone also shared in the bride's costs, and sometimes they were paid by the BM's.

Nobody gets to party for free. They have the option to decline the invitation.

@Nancy have you ever been to a bachelorette party?

This is not a hosted event at someone's house. This is a girl's night out. Its outrageous that guests would think that the BMs would pay for their food and drink for the whole night. That's very different than hosting an event at your home or a reception space and providing catered food.