Invited Guests of Bachelorette Don't Want to Pay Anything

Why the heck do you think these INVITED women want to pay for this?

The HOSTS of event, i.e. the BMs, are the ones that pay.

You cannot expect people who were not at all involved in the planning of the event to help pay for it. That's rude and tacky and, frankly, an idiotic idea on the BMs' part to think all these invited women would also pay.

If the BMs can't afford this, then you need to scale it down. Do not ask anyone who's just invited to contribute.

Ummm......since they had no hand in planning then they shouldn't pay

Wait. For a bachelorette party?? They can say "no" to the overnight experience, but how is it ok for them to think the BMs are just going to pay their way for a hotel, food, etc? I've never been to a "free" bachelorette party.

As a bridesmaid in the past, the bridal party has paid for the bride. Each guest should only pay there own way. Example, getting a party bus for the night, $30 per person and the bridal party pays the $30 for the bride. Maybe this is different depending on where your from but I've always paid my way for a bachelorette party

Either way, someone's decided what an appropriate budget will be. These people are saying no. Either change the plan or accept the declines.

In Ireland every guest who attends the bachelorette contributes. Its hard in the BMs to afford everything. Everyone is given a price for the accommodation and activities ( whatever has been organise) and then they decide if they want to go. But then that's here not the US.

I always figured you pay your on way. It's sounds like OP is saying that the invited guests aren't paying for their own way....

Right, so they can decline. It's an invitation.

Yes if they don't want to go, could the bridesmaids just take the bride away and have a girly time together?

In Australia, usually invited guests pay for themselves and maybe a small amount for the bride as well. I've never been to one where the Bus pay for everything. I guess if no one wants to pay, just do something with the BMs and bride - spa day maybe?

I've always paid my own way as a guest. The BM should take care of decorations, etc. but everything else should be split. If they don't want to stay overnight, fine. If they just want to meet up at a bar, they should be contributing to the tab

Every bachelorette I've heard of the non bridesmaids have always paid their own way. An invite isn't a summons and if someone can't afford it then the appropriate response would be a decline not trying to strongarm the bridesmaids into paying for them. It's not like the costs are being sprung on them. If they keep persisting with this just tell them that you're sorry they won't be able to go and they will be missed.

I went to my friends bachelorette 2 weeks ago & there was complaining at the table on how much everyone's portion was paying for the bride. I felt so bad for her that I threw down a $100 said this should take care of the bride & me. (Our entrees were $20 each & no alcohol could be ordered at the table) it ended the fighting but she felt awful, don't do that to your friend

If they can't afford it, then they won't come. It's just like every other experience really. The bride will enjoy those who make it!

At least on the east coast...

The bachelorette party is not "hosted" by the bridesmaids and then the other girls are invited, free ride guests. The MOH and bridesmaids may be the ones to come up with a plan but then inviting additional girls always implies they pay their share or don't come. They're not the guests of honor FFS.

The BP needs to pay for the brides portion, not invited guests. I'm used to invited guests paying their own way so they should pay for their portion of escape room, etc. if they aren't comfortable they won't go, no big deal.

It's not clear from the original posts. The non-BMs don't want to pay their own costs? Don't want to split the hosting costs? Don't want to cover a pro-rata share of the bride's costs? I.e., they only want to pay for the escape room and nothing else?

I haven't been to many bachelorette parties so I don't know the protocol.

That's tough. We are doing the same for my bachelorette. MOH rented a suite for people to stay and come and hang out. The only people she is having pay are those who are staying the night. A lot of people who are invited have young kids, they are not in the bridal party and I'm just happy they will meet us at the hotel for drinks and heavy appetizers then go out. It would be awesome if they could all stay but my BMs are staying as well as my close friends and that's what I care about.

I think if they expect to stay in the hotel they should stay, if you use the hotel as a starting spot/meet and greet the only those staying the night should pay. Maybe forget about the escape room to keep costs down?

Everyone contributes. Never heard of bridesmaids only paying for a bach. Party. Thats crazy. Why should the bridesmaids have to foot the entire bill for every person. Its not a hosted event like a shower. They are being crazy! Good luck to you. I hope it works out for your bride.

People who do not attend can certainly say no, but people attending should help cover the bride's cost. I went to a bachelorette party last week, not a BM, and helped cover the brides room and dinner. That is what I have always done and have always heard of being done. On the other hand, at mine, I covered my room and the guests covered dinner and bought a drink or coffee here and there. I don't think there is a fits all formula, but I'm with you on this one.