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Super September 2018

Invited guests are already complaining - wedding timeline

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Gipperkm, on February 23, 2018 at 10:04 PM

Posted in Planning 48

Hi all,

Sorry for the length of this post in advance. We sent our save the dates on the 12th of this month. FMIL has been getting phone calls from people on my FHs dad's side of the family about our wedding being on a Sunday. They are saying a Sunday wedding is such a hard day for people who have to work the next day and get their kids ready for school the next day. They're all asking what time the wedding is and when FMIL says 5 (which by the way isn't really set in stone, but we did tell all our vendors 5), they complain even more, saying that's too late. "We shouldn't be expected to stay out late when we have kids and have to go to work the next day." Some have gone on to say we need to change the time of our wedding to 4 or even 3.

Now, I understand a Sunday wedding isn't easy for everyone, but we couldn't afford a Saturday wedding. My FHs family is huge and we HAD to invite all of them or those who weren't invited would complain and be hurt (this is what FMIL said). So, Sunday it is.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm annoyed about all this complaining. We should be allowed to have our wedding when we want. I mean, we went out of our way to make sure all these family members were invited and now they're freaking complaining! We could've not invited any of them! I personally don't want to change the time of the wedding. If they don't like it, they can leave early. Or not come at all. But anyway, my FH and I have talked and we are considering moving the wedding up to 4 or 4:30, even though we don't want to.

Anyone have an opinion on this? Should we stand our ground and keep the wedding at 5 or am I being unreasonable? Should I/we just suck it up and change the time?

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48 Comments

Dedicated September 2018
Dana · on February 24, 2018 at 2:07 PM
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Honey. People are going to complain no matter when you have it. Kudos to you for even trying to include everyone. Me and FH plan on an immediate family only ceremony and were doing it in FL, so were making everyone travel. But its what we want and what will make us happy, so if they love us, theyll understand and if they want to support us, theyll show up. Do what makes sense for you.
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Super October 2018
MaltedMilk · on February 24, 2018 at 2:13 PM
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Good gosh you are not having a wedding at 3am on a Thursday morning. A Sunday wedding at 5pm is not out of line. People will find a way to complain about anything.
"We shouldn't be expected to stay out late when we have kids and have to go to work the next day." "No one is, you can decline and we will see you at Christmas!"
Just be blunt and smile - "I am sorry you feel that way."
Don't change the time, then they will complain they can't come because Jimmy has a soccer game! (Seriously!)
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VIP January 2019
Daria · on February 24, 2018 at 2:31 PM
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Yeah. If you have it earlier, people will say it doesn't give them enough time after church to get there. Or that you picked the same day as the neighbor's cats birthday party. I'll bet most of them will figure out a way to make it work. And I wouldn't be sad if there's a few that don't.
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VIP September 2018
rica · on February 24, 2018 at 2:36 PM
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The truth is that your wedding isn’t at the most convenient time for people. However, they have no right to complain about it or stress you out more. Obviously it works for you. If they can’t make it they will decline. Try responsding positively even though you have a right to be annoyed. “I know it might be difficult for you so I understand if you can’t make it, but I’d love to see you there.”
To make you feel better though, remember that not everyone works a 9-5 schedule anyways. I worked Saturday nights for years and would have been thrilled to go to a wedding at a different time. You can’t please everyone.
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Super October 2018
Erin · on February 24, 2018 at 5:00 PM
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It is impossible to make your wedding convenient for everyone. As someone who works Monday through Friday, I think it is easy to forget that some people work/ have commitments nights, weekends, etc. I am having a Thursday night wedding (I got such an amazing deal doing it Thursday) and I have had push back too. I made sure it worked for my VIPs and for everyone else, if they can’t make it then they can’t make it!
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Super October 2018
MaltedMilk · on February 24, 2018 at 5:10 PM
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I agree with the above posters (I am coming back for the second time...lol!) and if people want to get there, they will get there. Lots of people work weekends and need to get a day off. Our wedding will be at 11am and I have some relatives that will have to get up, get dressed and all gussied up by 9am and...oh well.
If people want to decline, they will. If they want to take the next day off to recover, they can do that, too!
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Expert March 2018
Heather · on February 24, 2018 at 5:13 PM
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Coming from a wedding planner i usually recommend to my brides to avoid Sunday's if your guest list is larger. Most people work Monday and kids do have school unless its a break or summer. I would try to move it up to an after noon time and then expect and early end to the day.
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Expert June 2018
Bride2B · on February 24, 2018 at 5:54 PM
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I'm one of those people who thinks that you're paying a lot of money to host a big party where they are invited guests. Guests will always complain about something, but ultimately if they don't like being invited somewhere, then they have the option of not coming, or of leaving, like you said.
It makes me so mad that people in this world complain about every little thing, that ultimately doesn't effect them. It's about you and your fiancé. I would never complain about being invited to a party.
On the bright side, maybe it means that only the people you really want will come, and make the whole day much more stress free.
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