Invite to Wedding, but NOT Reception?

T-H-A-N-K-S Meghan B. (o; (o; (o;

Actually, in England it's normal to invite only family/close friends to the ceremony and the sit down wedding dinner. The sit down dinner is around 4/5, then the reception/dance starts at 7pm - an additional buffet of finger foods for the other guests is served around 8:30 or so.

A lot of times, the people invited to the reception, but not the ceremony would just show up at the church to see you get married. They would then go home, get changed and head to the reception later

I never knew that Sharon..then again I haven't been to a wedding in England before..lol, We had invited some friends of mine and my parents from England to the wedding, and due to health reasons, they couldn't come, so instead of RSVPing no, they sent a card that said on the front "With regrets" and on the inside it was fill in the blank like this: "________regret that we are unable to attend______on__________" My sister saw it and thought those were part of my rsvps..lol

See how different things are done even from across the pnd to the next state/province/town over? We learn something new everyday!

Ok Ladies, I have a similar question. For a destination wedding....do you send out "save the dates" to pretty much everyone to give them the heads up of when the event will be (and its a magnet w/pics for keepsake) and then only send out formal invitations to those traveling to the wedding. OR...send out "save the dates" to those that you assume will travel and leave those who more than likely wont travel out and just send a formal invitation informing them....?

Thanks to all who left positive comments. I try pretty hard not to be tacky or offensive in all corners of my life, not just this one. Like I said...it's not something that I WANT to do....just WISH I could do sometimes after tallying up the costs. It's either a pare-it-down or save-it-up situation.

Good thing we've got plenty of time.

@Tawana - everyone who gets a STD gets an invitation. For a destination wedding, I would send a STD and invitation to everyone on your guest list, regardless of who you think will or won't travel. So, just send your entire guest list STDs and then send them invitations. That way, everyone can make their own decision as to whether or not they can make the trip. You might be surprised who will travel to see you get married!

@Dierdre, It actually is quite acceptable to invite people to the reception, but not the ceremony. Some couples do not have the space at their venue for everyone to attend the ceremony. Or perhaps it is done at a time, or place that not everyone can get to.

Snobbery has nothing to do with it.

Having been raised in France my point of view is different. I have attended numerous weddings where I saw people not be invited to the reception and it was fine. People understood. Weddings are expensive and if you have a large family and a lot of close friends you just cannot invite everyone. Personally, I wouldn't be offended. Those guests should feel honored that you even thought of them for the ceremony and want there there to share your special moment.

You made me want to research the topic and most places said that it is tacky to not invite guests to the reception. that being said, nowadays brides and grooms really need to do what's best for them. Why go into debt bc you're afraid of offending people?

Here's what the knot says:

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/attending-wedding/qa/invite-wedding-guests-to-ceremony-but-not-party.aspx

Everyone is invited to our ceremony and evening reception, but there will be fewer for the wedding breakfast.

That's the norm here!

I think in general it may seem 'rude' to invite to the ceremony only , but you know these people, will they understand your situation ? Not everyone would be offended.

That is considered to be a huge no no ...think about it the other way around how would you feel? You can't do that...either all or nothing :-)

I see it a different way, Brian. I see it as, "We would love to share our ceremony with you, to witness our union. That is the most important part of this event as far as we are concerned. The party is...just...well, icing on the cake."

Is it a way to cut costs? Sure, are we going to do it? Well, no. But I am a bit amused by the backlash such a question created!

I think it's all cultural. The American wedding has become such a huge "gift giving" event in many circles. Whereas in other cultures, it's not so much about the gifts. I think thats why we don't have wedding showers/baby showers etc. and why it's not such a huge deal to not invite someone to the sit down meal, but to the ceremony and maybe the dance afterwards? Nothing negative against the American way of doing it, just a difference in cultures

Traditionally, anyone may attend a church ceremony. One of my first wedding experiences was when my elementary school teacher invited the whole class to attend her ceremony. I definitely agree that the ceremony is the most important thing and the reception is basically just a party. However, traditions seem to have evolved somewhat over the years. It seems from the responses that there are many today who might take offense. Perhaps this is best decided on an individual case basis.

I have a date twin in the office who is doing that.

She has been with the company for a long time and is well liked so she couldn't invite all those folks to the reception. I think its fine.

I think in the end it is up to you, and I don't have an opinion either way. I do want to tell you though, my friend had a HUGE wedding- I mean 400 , and she invited every person to the reception. They left a time block of about an hour or an hour and a half between their ceremony and reception so that people could get a bite to eat, then at their reception they have a huge fruit and veggie bar and cake. It was very nice and no one missed the full meal. Guests still partied well into the night and everyone had a good time. Maybe something similar could be an option for you and your budget.

I think it's in poor taste to invite them to one and not the other. I budgeted for 75 people which meant I had to cut my list in half ...but at least the ones invited are invited to both of my events, as they ARE at the same location!

Honestly, it is totally up to you and your husband to be how you want to do this. Everyone will have an opinion no matter what you do, and you can't please everyone! We are having a destination wedding with very few guests, and a moderate sized reception. As much as we would love to invite everyone we know, I think the reception celebration is similar to the wedding in that you really only need to have those that are genuinely happy for you, have been there for you and who you truly, in your heart, want to be there. Forget trying to please everyone...it's your special time! Good luck on your decision...it's a tough one

We are having sort of the same issue but our wedding & reception will be in the same location but in different rooms but each rooms only hold a total of 100 people. To find an elegant location for a larger group would be more expensive. So we went with a much smaller but also elegant location which was also in our budget. Now making a guest list is a harder task to do. We have to invite 25 each of out close family & friends which must include us & the bridal party, the DJ & photographer & minister which we need to include the plus 1 from each of those guest giving our total 50 people for myself & 50 for my groom. Keeping it as simple as possible.

I forgot to mention our bridal party including us is 16 total adding in our DJ as 2 & photograher & the minister & his wife will make that 16 a total of 19 from the top which leave us having to invite about 20 people & their plus 1 for us each. which makes up our 100 guests more or less. At any rate we have paid for 100 guest & anymore then that. So there will be some very upset people. I had even decided that we could have a wedding shower after our honeymoon maybe at someones home or in their backyard & serve cake & punch. Invite those family & friends to come wish us well wishes. It may be another way to let people know that we are glad to have them in our lives & that we want them to celebrate with us. We are still thinking on that one right now.