Invitation wording - open ceremony and private reception

It is generally frowned upon to invite people to your ceremony and not the reception, as it may make those not invited to the reception think they don't mean anything to you. It may also cause confusion for the people who are only invited to the ceremony and they may think they are invited to both and just show up at the reception. You might think about inviting people to the ceremony by word of mouth if you aren't inviting them, and explaining that it will be a very small reception.

True and those invited to the reception will not know who is and isnt invited and will mention it, placing people in ackward situations following the ceremony.

I am in the same situation. I don't find it rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. I have a budget and I'm sticking to it. My reception is only immediate family and the bridal party. NO KIDS at reception, but ok for them to be at the ceremony. I would like some advice too.

I wasn't ok with inviting people to the ceremony and not the reception, but what I've seen church members do in the past is to only send invites to those invited to the ceremony and reception, then put an announcement in the church bulletin giving the date and time of your wedding with a note that states the reception is by invitation only.

Personally it IS rude. BUT, its your day and your friends... so if you're going to do it anyhow.. them what Kerri F said comes across better. Dont send an INVITE to the ceremony only... cause it WILL confuse ppl. Considering a REGULAR wedding invite confuses the masses, you'll have a lot of people asking around to where to reception is, and then feel slighted. so announce it in the church bulletin.

To my knowledge, providing food and drink at the reception is the couple's (and/or their families') thank you to guests for coming to the ceremony. In essence, you are asking people to witness you coming down the aisle and taking your vows, but you are asking them specifically not to stay and celebrate your new marriage with you. I would not accept a ceremony-only invitation. I would spend many times longer getting ready and traveling to/from than the duration of a 10-15 minute ceremony.

Devyn R., you can always invite people to an "adults only" reception, but remember that if people receive an invitation addressed to their whole family, they expect the whole family to participate in all the wedding-related activities.

At my church, when a member is having an open ceremony and private reception, they only invite those invited to both the ceremony and the private reception. As for the ceremony when the pastor makes the announcement in the church, he usually clarifies that the ceremony is open to everyone if they'd like to come but the reception is private, if they have an invitation from the couple they can attend if not, they can't.

I've actually been to a couple of weddings like this - our church's youth pastors got married (not to each other) - both cases it was just fine. They kind of had to invite the entire congregation to the wedding b/c of their jobs, but obviously coulnd't afford to invite all 1000 ppl to their receptions. So - they sent out invitations to closer friends/family for both the ceremony/reception (traditional wording), and posted a notice in the church bulletin for just the ceremony.

I think if you have an open invitation in the church bulletin or something similar, those that show up who weren't personally invited will understand they're just going to the ceremony and be fine - they likely won't think it's rude. Just be sure you don't put out directions cards to the reception hall out after our ceremony.

Thanks for all of the advice. We have checked with our family and friends verbally about their avail to come before we send out the invitations and are at 650 after inquiring with over 750 people. Everything that I have read and been told is that it is rude to invite people only to a reception because it implies all you want are gifts because a wedding is a ceremony to celebrate the love that God has brought together.

Thanks Ashley A. and Kerri F. for the suggestions. May fiance does not believe in carrying or accuring a lot of debt. The cost of our wedding will not be the cost of a car or a small house just to accomodate the feelings of others. I think we will take the advice of Ashley A. and Kerri F.

Thanks again everyone. I really do appreciate your honest and open feedback. Happy wedding and marriages to each of you.

650 guests!?!?!

Nancy T. your expression is the same as mine was with the original count. We had to edit our list to get to the 650. He has a very large family and I have a large family. We are both very active in the congregation which is about 800 members. I am the personal assistant to the minister, the large event planner, the website ministry leader, and one of the women's fellowship coordinators.

Thanks for all of the advice. We have 540 confirmed for our private reception. Everyone that has inquired understood the cost issue and are just as excited to come to witness the exchanging of the vows. We're planning for 800 at the ceremony.

I had an email sent asking how the wedding went; but, can't reply for some reason, so I'm replying here.

We sent out the invitations to a specific guest list of family and close friends and business associates. We defined close as those who have had a very impactful effect on our lives/career. AFTER we received the RSVPs for the private reception, we announced to the church "in the spirit of Christian love, we invite you to witness the vows. The couple will have a private reception due to the large size of the families that will be blended as one." People from church were asking how many were we planning for the reception and we shared 540. Most everyone understood.

Be mindful that we set the RSVP date early (April 20) because we wanted to be sure that our venue could accommodate the group. Some said the date was too early; but, we didn't worry about what others said ... it wasn't their day.

We only sent inviations to those that were invited to the private reception.

On June 23 at Hillsboro church of Christ, we had a beautiful wedding and reception. We had approximately 700 to attend our wedding ceremony and we had 520 to attend our private, sit down meal reception.

Happy wedding planning and wedding to everyone. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!