Inlaws taking over

This is really really problematic and will only get worse. Deal with it, get on the same page as your DH NOW.

ETA: Just agreeing with Pp that this is NOT normal. Going out to dinner every weekend? Maybe. Every other week, or once a month would be better. They should not be in your bed or even in your house so often. I could not stand this for even two weekends before I would tell them not to come back. Kudos to you for lasting this long.

What?!?! That is very very odd. This is definitely a husband (and tiny bit in-law) problem. I would listen to PP and start saying No.

Oh HELLLL no. Talk to your husband. He needs to put his foot down, speak to them, and establish firm boundaries.

No, you cannot come every weekend.

No, you may not sleep in our room.

"No!" is a complete sentence.

Oh hell no....that would definitely not be okay with me.

No, no and no!!

That is your home that you both share. If that were me, I would go buy a couch that has a pull out bed and that's where they would be sleeping. Sounds harsh, but like you said that SHOULD be your sanctuary.

But either way, having someone "stay" like that is rough in itself.

We do have a spare bedroom, however we are talking about TTC and I've made it clear that once we do there will be no more house guests. We don't have the room - and I'm not sacrificing nor will any future children so they can hover over us.

We live 4+ hours from both of our families, and I know they will want to visit more once there are children. I've started addressing it now so it's not a total shock or fight when it really happens.

As for your situation now, I think you need to have a frank discussion with your DH about what you can and are willing to tolerate. And why he feels they need to visit each weekend. The two of you need to get on the same page, and then discuss how you're planning to address it with IL.

My recommendation would be to have him address it, possibly on the phone with you in the room so you can hear the conversation.

I make a point to say "we" or "DH and I feel" so it's not just put in me or him. And I think it would be important for him to address it like that too - so you're a unit, not a mean DIL

@Kimberly: You need to pick up the phone and say, "Hi, We enjoy your company but we cannot have you at our home every weekend. How about we sit down with a calendar and plan a weekend that is convenient for all of us?" Have you considered some Assertiveness Training? You need to get a handle on this. If not, they'll be living with you when your first baby arrives! If your husband is noncommittal, do it yourself.

Whoa that's odd, did they do this before you were married??

Ack, that is just creepy that they are sleeping in YOUR bed! That needs to stop!

Yeaaaah, no. You two need to talk about your expectations and then he needs to talk to his folks. This is NOT ok.

How rude of them to take over your bedroom your husband needs to speak up and not allow this

Wow no. That would not be ok in my house.

Whoa.... I just read this with my mouth dropped and eyes wide.

Waiting on OP to come back and clarify whether or not they did this before they got married. (Or did you not live together prior to getting married?)

I absolutely COULD NOT! Every single weekend? Honestly, once a month would even be too much for me. And giving up my bed would be a HELL NO. Their options would be couch/air mattress, get a hotel or even better - stay tf home. What do you all do during their visits?

Please head to counseling ASAP.

This is totally weird AF.

You should also allow vendors to comment. They have good advice and can't advertise.

Oh Lordy hell to the no on this one!!! This is not normal as PPs have said!!! ANYBODY would be irked by this. Agree that couples counseling would be a good option at this point.

An hour and a half is what some people do daily as a work commute. Why can't you grab lunch and then they drive back to their house (and THEIR bed)? There isn't a reason that they should be staying with you all weekend every weekend...

I would not stand for this. Period. I agree with everyone else. You should sit down and have a talk with your h. Also if he won't say anything you should.

That is not okay. My family lives an hour and a half away, and they do NOT do this. FH's family doesn't either.

1) we have our own lives just as they have theirs. Our families respect that. There are boundaries in place, like in any healthy relationship.

2) your room is your sanctuary. What they're doing is so inappropriate! Besides being your uninvited guests every weekend, they take over your room.

You and H need to talk. Set some boundaries together. And if it can't be resolved just he and you, counseling!

There's an obvious lack of respect, and I for one couldn't live with that. My FH wouldn't either.

There is nothing ok with this situation. First, IMO that's too much time with any family members outside of your husband. In my premarital counseling, one of the things we learned was once a couple is married, they become a new family and their families become part of the extended family. It sounds like your ILs don't respect this new family you have created. Also, so gross to kick a newlywed couple out of their bed EVERY weekend! Weekends are times for couples to be newlyweds in their beds, and they're taking that from you. You need to talk to your husband about this, because he is allowing it to continue by not saying anything to his parents. And they need to learn boundaries, and that they can't just come over because they want to, especially because coming to visit leads to a sleepover. Boundaries need to not only be established, but respected and honored from here on out.

Yeah this is both an in law and a husband problem. Why do your in laws want to visit so much? AND STAY IN YOUR BED? Also, why doesn't your husband see that this is an issue?