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Just Said Yes June 2017

Inlaws taking over

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Kimberly, on July 9, 2017 at 3:34 PM

So my husband and I got married about 5 weeks ago. We have had a great marriage so far but I'm worried that his parents (mom) is going to put a damper on our relationship over time. They live about an hour and a half away but have decided that they need to come visit every single weekend. I wouldn't mind that except that we don't have a guest bedroom and so they think it is okay to take over our bedroom. They sleep in our bed and we have to sleep on the couch. This doesn't bother my husband but it bothers me a lot. I feel like our bedroom should be our sanctuary and nobody should be allowed in there but he just doesn't care. I've tried talking to him about it and he just tries to ignore the conversation. Has anyone else had this problem?

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45 Comments

VIP December 2017
Danielle · on July 10, 2017 at 12:37 PM
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I was ruminating on this situation a bit yesterday. Maybe I'm projecting, but @OP, is your husband from what sociologists call a "high-contact culture?" In such an environment doors, both proverbial and literal, are left open within communities so they know what's going on, fostering a sense of warmth, while at the same time bulldozing through any privacy. I almost married into such a culture in which the husband's parents (traditionally not the wife's) are societally permitted to invite themselves over and stay for two months without the young couple complaining.
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Super April 2018
SpringBride2018 · on July 10, 2017 at 1:15 PM
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Not okay. You need to talk to your SO about that before issues get worse. If you don't stop it now, it'll only get worse.
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VIP October 2017
Tricia · on July 10, 2017 at 1:48 PM
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Start going into your room at all hours for things you need.
And talk to your husband. Your marriage should come first. He needs to listen to your feelings and put them first.
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Super September 2017
Hbanana1111 · on July 10, 2017 at 4:34 PM
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Oh heck no. My family and I are extremely close but they'd never do this! Why would they even want to sleep in your bed?! I agree with PP your husband needs to talk to them and asap.
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Expert November 2017
Melissa · on July 10, 2017 at 4:38 PM
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I say start planning fun things for you and your hubby to do during the weekends. Things he would really enjoy, that way he can cancel on his parents and let them know that they won't be able to go down and stay with you guys for the weekend. And while you guys are out and it's good timing just bring up that you feel disrespected that they're in your bed while you guys are in the living room in your own home.
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