Incorporating future step children

@Treeshade- Did they walk the sand down the aisle? The kids are going to be walking down right before me. Would they then walk down the aisle twice?

We are doing a sand ceremony to incorporate the kids

Between my FH and I we have three kids, two 7 year old girls and a 10 year old boy. My son will walk me from my getting ready room to the location of the ceremony (he was once going to walk me down the aisle but he has high functioning autism and got worried about being embarrassed, etc), we will meet up with my dad, who will walk me down the aisle, while my son joins FH as groomsman. My daughter and soon-to-be step-daughter are jr. bridesmaids. We are doing a sand ceremony to incorporate the 5 of us. During the reception (y/know how people do the picture montage of growing up?) we are doing a picture montage of each of us, us as the kids are growing, then us together, and us with all three of the kids - so there's a feel of our family progressing to this point.

During dancing we'll have a mother/son dance while FH and his mom dance and I dance with my son, and then a father/daughter dance where I'm with my dad and FH is dancing with his daughter (I think so my daughter doesn't feel left out I'll have her dance with her Godfather).

They were the firsts to walk down. And only did once. They walked in, down, placed it on the table, and took their seats in the back.

They were more concerned about the sweet table anyway.

I think you are sweet for wanting to incorporate them in a big way. I just feel like them walking is enough.

My DOC warned anything involving children adds time on the ceremony. Also, they are unpredictable at any age(you have to account for the teenage attitude).

Our kids are our wedding party. between the two of us we have 5 kids. my oldest starts college 2 days after the wedding and wont make it. but we are going to have a seat for her and Skype the ceremony. all the girls are getting an anklet and the boys we will get a pocket knife. we will give these to them before the wedding.

I have a son and he has a daughter we are doing a sand ceremony that incorporates them and a set of vows to our children

@Treeshade- I am sooo lucky I have no teenage attitude yet. I am super patient and he is a sweetheart. FH daughter is the flower girl so she should walk in front of me. Maybe it's enough and a little mention in my vows.

@Melissa- do you know what you are going to say?

@Kristin- love it!

I have 2 kids from my ex husband and fh has 2 kids. Were doing a sand ceremony that involves us and the kids so they can pour sand with us!

@Erin - I'm not sure yet what we are going to say. We are meeting with our officiant in a week to not only outline the ceremony but nail down the wording for everything. As they all three act like siblings anyway I think we should mention something about fighting and the girls not locking each other out of their own rooms.

Oops - I realize you were asking the other melissa!!! LOL

We are using Unity in Glass for the ceremony. My future step daughter picked 2 of the glass bead colors and will help us mix them together. Then you send the mixture in and they make a sculpture using your beads.

Since the daughter is shy, I think you should just add them into the vows like others suggested. I'm very shy, and getting up to do the sand thing would be stressful for me. But since you are close to them, why not just ask?? Say, "I want you to be as involved in the wedding as you want. Do you want to be in the ceremony or dance with us or wear a special outfit?"

I'm doing this. I think that adding my step son and daughter to be will be super special for all of us. I'm excited. I like your frame idea too!

@Lyla- They already said they want to be in the wedding and will be walking down the aisle and are excited. Of course they will get special outfits. FH son will wear a tux like the GM's and FH daughter is the flower girl so she'll wear a white dress and have a flower wreath in her hair. FH daughter isn't super shy. I just know she wouldn't want to talk. She's fine walking down the aisle. I asked FH if he wanted to do a dance but he doesn't. Plus the kids will be having too much fun with the other 26 kids attending the wedding. I don't want to interrupt that to make them dance. Lol! I'll see them this weekend so I'll just ask them what they think of doing a sand thing. Keep you all posted!

Thanks for the advice!

We don't have children, but my mom remarried 11 years ago when I was 19 and my stepbrother was 8. In their ceremony, they surprised us by exchanging vows and gifts. My stepdad promised to be there for me and he gifted me a necklace. My mom did the same for my stepbrother and gifted him a pocket watch (he saw one in a movie and really wanted one). It meant a lot to me.

@Soon-to-be-Mrs-K- thank you for sharing!! That's what I'm hoping. I thought of doing something like this but finding something special that she won't lose might be hard. I love that though.

@MelissaHH- that's awesome! FH feels the same about me. He actually gets a little jealous because the kids always ask for me. Poor guy. HaHa!

I think including them would be really special even if just in the vows. And then if you want, you can do something separate and intimate with just them and your FH too. But I think including them is a great idea!

I think you have to be very careful. Assuming their mom is alive and in the picture, I think you have to recognize that while they will be part of your family, they will also be part of another family. I am not certain how the sand ceremony recognizes that.

When my mom remarried she incorporated my sister and I into the sand ceremony symbolizing a family of 4. It worked well