Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

L
Just Said Yes September 2021

In laws wedding planning stress.

Lacey, on May 2, 2021 at 7:16 PM Posted in Planning 0 7
Saved
Reply
So my fiancé and I decided to pay for our entire wedding ourselves mainly so that we could make all of our own decisions and really have our wedding our way. His parents were not happy with our 85 guests and the fact our wedding was on a weekday. After many discussions and meetings we agreed to invite the extra guests and they would pay the difference.


So. We found a venue we love and it recently had a cancellation and had Saturday available. (Perfect for them right) only thing is we have to book ASAP because 2 other couples are interested in that date since it is the only weekend wedding available in September.
Well now since they are paying for part of it they are making us get the okay from them and won’t give us the okay... so basically they want to control where we get married now too (the entire reason I didn’t want anyone helping us pay) I really have no idea what to do if we book this date with our their okay we won’t be able to afford the Saturday wedding in the long run and will have to put it on credit . If we don’t book we will lose the date.
I feel like they are hanging money over our heads when we didn’t want their money in the first place they offered it to us so that the rest of the guests they wanted to be there could be there. I’m so frustrated and losing excitement for my wedding

7 Comments

Latest activity by Tory, on May 3, 2021 at 5:06 PM
  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I'm sorry you're going through this. I can understand with the stressful inlaws. We paid for ours by ourselves too! Is there anyway you get your original date back during the week, that you two had initially? (Even though that means have your original guest count and not including who your inlaws wants there). Because I wouldn't want to wait around for an answer either than potentially lose that weekend date and now you're trying to figure out your new date .
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Best advice is to not make any decisions or changes unless you have their money IN HAND. Especially since it sounds like they are being sketchy about it. Unfortunately many people have posted that they make decisions based on financial promises from others who don’t follow through (for example, when they don’t get their way about guest list, decor, etc).
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Tell them you don’t need their money and either book the new venue or keep the old one. Remove them from the equation.
    Tell them one time you are declining their money and you will make all the decisions. Then change the subject *every time* they bring it up. It’s decided. There is nothing to talk about. No justification needed.
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated September 2022
    Christina ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would decide not to invite the extra guest and not use their money. That way you can choose what you want!
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Decline their money and have the wedding you and fiancé want and can afford. If parents don’t like it, they are not required to attend. As controlling as they are, it might be in your best interest to not invite them and don’t share plans moving forward. Set and maintain boundaries. If they cross those boundaries, cut off contact.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Don't move the date, turn down their money, and don't let them make any more decisions even if they offer money. No extra guests, take those back. If they want to play stupid games, they can win stupid prizes.
    • Reply
  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would just decline their offer for helping to pay so you guys can have it your way and they have no control over you guys later on. It does sound like they’re trying to direct you guys into doing what they want for your day, and it would just be messy and stressful for you and your relationship down the road if you take the money
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics