Important advice for brides w/ a deceased parent

My mom passed away 20 years ago and we were planning to honor her at the wedding but she wasn't on the invitation (although she was included in the announcement). I think you should always do what makes YOU most comfortable and if that's what works for you I say do it. So sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry about your loss also Crystal. I think because my Dad's passing was so recent it is still a very emotional subject.

But you're right, I guess the real advice is to check with your surviving parent about what they would like before making final decisions.

Edit : spelling

I am so sorry for your loss. Good for you for wanting to keep your dad on the invitation. I saw somewhere (can't remember where-sorry) that someone put the mrs. and late ____ request the honor of your presence etc. Please let us know what you decide to go with!

I think it's a personal decision..my mom passed away when I was young, I didn't put parents as host, but I did put daughter of (my dad) and the late mrs. (mother's name)..I really wanted her name on the invitation since she was such a big part of raising me into who I am today.

Aw Im sorrry to hear that. I think it is appropriate for sure to have him on the invites. Etiquette be damned in situations like this.

We went with

Together with their families

Deneige X,

Daughter of Laura X and the late Richard X,

and

Darrin Z,

Son on Mr. and Mrs. Dale Z

Invite you to share in their joy

as they exchange vows

My FH mother died tragically when he was 11 years old. It hurts my heart. I want so badly to honor her for making such a beautifully wonderfully kind man. I am not sure how yet.

I'm really glad you decided to put him on the invitation. If I were in that situation I would definitely want my dad on here. Were the people on TK just bashing people for putting the deceased one on there? If they were, I'm not surprised lol

FUCK ETIQUETTE! THROW IT "OUT THE WINDOW"!!!!!

Good for you DlovesD. You follow your heart! Your wording even made ME tear up a bit....

It actually wasn't in the forum (I wouldn't take advice from there!), it was on their site where their etiquette expert answers questions.

Thank you everyone & especially Out The Window! Couldn't agree more!

We both have a deceased parent (his dad 20 yrs ago and my mom 20 yrs ago), and while we are hosting the wedding and paying for it ourselves, we will have 2 roses on a table at the reception with a framed poem. Just haven't picked the poem yet.

I'm glad you were able to find a way to include him, and thank you for sharing in. Too many people getting married without their parents, breaks my heart

I am so sick of the word "etiquette". I think people who have nothing better to do make a lot of etiquette shit up.

Obviously, there is etiquette that is necessary to follow (i.e. sending thank you cards for a gift) but as far as what to do about your invitations, do what feels right to you. I think your invitation sounds lovely.

We did the same wording Lynzey! I'm so glad we did. Jen that will be a very nice tribute.

How would you word something with a step father and a passed real father? That is my problem.

I also didn't know what to do for my invites. I lost my mom in September and it felt so weird to write her name on it, so we went with "Together with their families" on the top of the invite to encompass everyone without naming names (which is better anyway, since it's FH and I hosting the event), and then on the programs I wrote a little blurb: "Thank you for celebrating in our day with us! We know those who could not be with us are still watching from above today, smiling. Hi Mom!"

We're also doing a moment of remembrance for those we lost, especially her. AND leaving an open chair for where she would have sat, decorating it, and putting her photo and a vase on it for each of the bridal party to place a sunflower (her favorite) in as they walk past it up the aisle.

I think it's important to remember your Dad in whatever way you are comfortable with! If anyone thinks it's inappropriate or the wrong etiquette, screw 'em! It's your wedding, do what makes you feel close to him!

@RachelM my mother passed this past October. My parent had been divorced for years and my dad remarried. I did it like this

Mr. and Mrs. Carl V. Newton along with the late Karla Y. Burton....

And so on

I'm sorry for your loss, DlovesD. I think you did a lovely job on the invitation wording! I'm using 'together with their families' too. Both my parents are deceased, and several people, along with FH and myself, are paying for the wedding, so it was the simplest way to include everyone for me.

My biological mother passed away October 21, 2012 and I included her on my invitations and programs. And don't care who likes it or not. She may not be here with us in person but will be with us in spirit and will be attending and watching from above. So I'm making 3 memorial candles for my biological sister and brother and myself to light in her honor during a moment of silence prayer. That's the only way I know to honor her in my wedding and it just seems right to me and so far no objections from anyone. So I say do what ur heart or gut tells you.