Expert October 2020

I’m stuck. long Rant!

Soon2BSmith, on January 10, 2020 at 8:37 AM Posted in Planning 0 4
I love my fiancé and I want to marry him but I don’t want this wedding. It’s not what I want or envisioned. I tried explaining to him before we started the planning process how stressful and aggravating it will be for me. Both my mom and sister are in the wedding business, so I have a great idea beforehand, how it would be. He WANTED a traditional wedding. (Cultural and other reasons.).
Relationship are about compromising, right! Fine, so I said, then we will have something intimate. We are at 130 ppl and still going up. My family is huge!
I wanted a different venue, but my fiancé begged me for another venue. Everyone who has seen it, has agreed I shouldn’t have compromised on that. It’s just mediocre with an ugly carpet. My mom and sister had pretty much designed the wedding and changed everything that I wanted, down to my COLOR SCHEME, CENTERPIECES, napkins, silverware. EVERYTHING!! Nothing is my idea. I wanted a cake swing, my sister insist I do a dessert table.I feel both my sister and mom, feel like pressure is on them because they are in the business. I also Know neither one of them had the wedding they wanted and I they are using my day as a rebound. My sister and I have even gotten into a huge argument at the venue because she wants me to have chairs that I can’t afford. That hasn’t slowed her or my mom down. Yes having 2 close family members in the wedding business has helped but it really doesn’t matter if my WHOLE vision is changed. I have been ready to throw away the whole wedding and go to the courthouse, but I CAN’T get my $1000 deposit back, and I would have to pay an additional $3k for breaking the contract.


Latest activity by Soon2BSmith, on January 11, 2020 at 2:04 PM
  • Jess
    Dedicated June 2022
    Jess ·
    • Flag

    Wow. That's a lot and I can 100% understand the need to rant.

    Compromise is important, but it works in two ways. It's too late to change venues but you should have more of a say in other details for sure. For your sister and mother situation, I can kind of see where you're coming from. my FMIL didn't have her dream wedding either so she's forcing what she wanted for her wedding on us. What I suggest you do is tough, but sit down with them and start by telling them how much you appreciate their time and their help and their expertise in the field but that this is still your wedding and they need to respect that. Tell them your top complaints and come up with some things that can be fixed (ex. Color scheme or centerpieces if you haven't delved too far in to not be able to undo these).

    Try your hardest to relax. In the end, all that matters is that you and your FH are married. Don't let the details ruin what should be a celebration of your love. Best wishes Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I agree with PP. the most important thing right now is for everyone to sit down and u defat and that this is YOUR day not their wedding. They need to respect your wishes even if it’s not what they would do. First I would discuss with your FH and you two need to get on the same page. If invitations or STD’s haven’t gone out I would cut the list back to what you want.
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    Compromise is important. Invite ONLY 50 of your nearest and dearest so he gets the "wedding" but they don't have to sedate you for it. Hire a wedding planner if you can afford it (NOT your family) and tell your mom and sister to kick rocks, it's not their day. Details are just that-details. Get the dress and cake and DJ that YOU want.

    • Reply
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
    • Flag
    Thanks you ladies for all your comments. After speaking with my fiancé, we think it’s best to cancel the wedding and go to the courthouse!

    • Reply

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