I'm scared of having children. Should I talk to my husband about this?

Did you have an upbringing where you were involved in activities away from your mother besides school? Mom isn't supposed to be your friend, she's supposed to be your mom.

It sounds like you have a lot of social issues you need to work on and you should have been more open about this with your husband a long time ago.

Definitely fix these issues before you have kids, if you do have kids at all.

The fact is, things WILL change. In some ways they will get better than you ever thought, and in other ways it will be an adjustment to find your new normal. If you're already going into it feeling like you will be jealous and lose your husband to the children, you will, because you will be on the lookout for little things to prove your fears valid.

I was worried about how things would change for us. We had been together alone for 7 years before having our daughter and I was worried we wouldn't know how to make that transition.

It was tough at first. I struggled a lot with my own stuff after birth and that definitely took away from our relationship. I had a lot of physical issues that I was finally able to get appropriate help for after 17 months of being in pain - that dampened our intimacy. But we worked our way through it, together, and we are stronger than ever. I LOVE watching FH with our daughter. It melts me every time and I love him so much more.

Communication is so important too. You need to find a way to talk about this now or it will only be that much harder once you have kids and life gets a bit hectic. We have had a few minor issues - I realized, once I talked with FH that I was often neglecting him at night. Not ever because I wanted to. But because after being touched and climbed on all day long for 13 hours, having my own space is GREAT! I never intentionally didn't cuddle or whatever, just needed that space. In turn after talking about it, he's started to help more with the nighttime stuff so I can get some space before bed, and I've worked to differentiate the demanding, incessant touching of a toddler from FH's touch and cuddles so that I don't just feel like I am being pawed at from all angles all day every day. It's a work in progress, but because we talked about it, we are able to fix it and work on it together instead of letting it get too far gone to be fixed.

You neeeeeeed to be able to talk to your husband about this now. Or you will fall apart once kids come.

Are you telling me you'll be totes jelly of your female daughter that you don't have yet for highschool issues?

I didn't know trolls came out on Mondays.

Its really interesting that you now would not have a girl due to your insecurities, however a few months ago you made a post about wanting children and how you wanted a girl.

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/do-you-want-boy-or-girl-for-your-first-child-has-your-fh-mention-something-about-this/6448c803c2ed3939.html

WOW. ^^

Interesting...

Interesting...

Hehe, Happy Monday ladies!

You sound young, hopefully that'll give you more time to think about things and have lots of discussions with your husband and also to work on yourself. Don't rush into kids if you're feeling confused about it.

I'm a terrible person, I know... but I've had the trolololo song stuck in my head this afternoon reading through the post and comments.

You sound like my mom.She never wanted daughters because she has weird jealousy issues.Growing up she would make our dad punish us for nothing,she would lie about how we acted when he was gone.It was like if he thought we were good then she wouldnt have his attention or something.My brothers had everything handed to them and we were abused because we were girls.She would honestly just come out and say that.I am sorry but never have children.You might thank you can change but if you dont and have a child it is too late and you ruined their life.Just dont.ever.seriously

Listen to Mrs. Matthews.

I'm sorry to be the one to catch it but this post had my trollmeter going off. Had to look into past posts!

I am surprised it took that long of people posting before KochBride caught it. I was half way through the beginning and called bullshit. Go get em KochBride

Detective KochBride is ON the case.

LAWWWWWWWWD. This girl has some serious issues.

ETA: I feel bad for your husband. If there is one.

I canʻt imagine why you donʻt have any friends *eye roll*

Busted.

I had her nailed on page 1, which is why I didn't feed her troll post. Seriously - you somehow managed to get married without having ever discussed children?? For heaven's sake. We're 50 and it's impossible for me to get pregnant, and we STILL discussed kids.

You should have discussed this before but you need to talk ASAP. Life gets so much more complicated wth kids