I'm my sisters maid of honor, what to do with my own husband???

I don’t mean to sound harsh but I do feel that you’re overreacting a bit. I know it’s hard when you’re in the middle of the situation but if you step back and look at the big picture it probably isn’t as big of a deal as it seems now. She doesn’t need to include him because he’s family or your husband. It’s very common for spouses of people in the wedding party to attend as guests. I’ve been a guest while my date has been sat at the head table before. Just remember, it’s not your wedding and it’s only one day. If your husband isn’t bothered by it, I’d let it go and enjoy the day!

You’re overreacting. Your sister and FBIL are not in any way obligated to include your husband in their ceremony. It’s great that you have a good relationship, that doesn’t mean that your husband is the groom’s best friend. I’m not sure why you would assume that your husband, who isn’t in the wedding party, would be included into the grand entrance of the reception. I would also be prepared to sit separately for dinner. If they choose to do a sweetheart table and let the wedding party sit with their dates, that is great, but many people do head tables that don’t include the wedding party dates. You are overreacting and should put your feelings aside for your sister’s wedding.

All the weddings I've been to (including our own), the groomsmen walked in first before the formal processional, then the processional started and parents & bridesmaids walked in by themselves. Then during the recessional, bridesmaids & groomsmen paired up and exited. I've never seen a BM or GM escorted by their husband or wife. Usually the significant other just shows up with the other guests. That's what all our GM and BM significant other and kids did. That's what I've done when my husband has been a groomsmen and same for him when I was a bridesmaid. We do our own thing and show up for the ceremony.

You're over reacting, sorry to say. In our grooms party there were two married people and they just brought their wives along to our photo sessions and they just watched. We didn't have the wedding party enter though but also - it's ok that you're entering in alone, I've also seen wedding parties walk down the aisle alone rather than in pairs. My mom thought just because our groomsmen were married meant I'd include their wives too and I was annoyed with her for saying that just because it's not an automatic thing just because they're married ya know?

My FH has been in wedding before where I haven't (we have been together for 11 years and have the same friends group). I just had to show up at the normal time like every other guest. Most of the time we were sat together because they were doing a sweetheart table or a family table. His job is to just show up for the wedding and your job is to be there for your sister as her MOH. I never heard of a GM walking in behind a BM, that part is weird but again it is her wedding and technically she can do whatever she wants.

You’re definitely overreacting. You’re taking something that’s really not at all personal and making it extremely personal. Your expectations also seem unreasonable— it would be weird, and is very uncommon, for anyone not part of the bridal party to be part of the processional or grand entrance to the reception. Your sister isn’t doing anything unusual here.

Try to relax and remember his is NOT your wedding, it’s theirs, and these decisions are for them to make for whatever reasons they so choose. If you’re the MOH and his dad is the Best man, it sounds like there keeping it to really close relationships. That’s fine, it’s what they want. There’s no reason your husband is owed a place in their ceremony. My brother’s wife wasn’t in mine— heck, neither was my brother! Again, it wasn’t personal. I just only wanted my Bffs by my side, and I wanted to stay the heck out of my husband’s side. It’s not weird for the SO’s of the bridal party to do their own thing on the morning of the wedding, and arrive separately— all of what you’re describing is very common place.

i wouldn’t presume that just because of all this that they’re doing a head table , but I suppose if you are concerned about that— reception seating is the one thing I could see having a conversation with her about. Not even telling her what to do but simply mentioning you’d like to sit with him and proceed from there.

I have to agree with PPs. Of course you want your husband more involved, but that doesn't mean your sister is obligated to have him in the wedding or escorting you. I do think that you should correct her on the title though. Since you are married, your title is Matron of Honor....she probably just didn't know the difference. I know that I didn't until my Matron of Honor told me. As far as seating goes...HOPEFULLY they choose to do a sweet heart table instead of a head table (unless they plan to allow spouses & children sit with their wedding party at the head table), because I've always thought it to be inconsiderate when brides & grooms choose to separate their wedding party from their families. BUT it is within their right to do so, even if it is rude IMO.

You do nothing and yes, you’re overreacting. Presumably, when you got married, you and your husband chose who you wanted in your wedding and did things the way you wanted. Now it’s your sister’s turn. There’s nothing wrong with them not selecting your husband as a GM and it would be weird for a non- wedding party member to be part of the processional and the reception entrance.

You're overreacting. It's okay to be bummed and hurt but it's not your wedding. It would be weird for your husband to escort you in to the reception. He's not in the bridal party. That isn't a diss. I'm sure they had their reasons for not asking him and there's a good chance none of them were personal.

Try to let it go. What would bringing this up to your sister accomplish? Would your husband want to be included out of pity? I hope you feel better about the situation.

I agree with everyone else that you are overreacting. It's not common that the groom's fiance's brother in law would be asked to be in the wedding. Only the fiance's actual brother (so if you and your sister have a brother he would probably be a groomsman). So I think you are taking this personally when it really isn't.

My wedding was at a hotel and we had our whole bridal party stay with us in the hotel the night before the wedding. Many of our bridal party members were in relationships so their significant others just drove to the wedding themselves or stayed in their own hotel room. The significant others met at the rehearsal and got along so they went to the hotel bar together before the ceremony and all sat together for the ceremony. Everything was fine! We didn't do a head table though so everyone could sit with their significant other. Also, entering the processional alone is normal. Everyone in my wedding entered single file (except parents and grandparents that were escorted).

I promise it will be okay, you and your husband will still have a great time together at the wedding.

Not to sound harsh, but you are overreacting. It is ok to be bummed, honestly you are probably overthinking it & hyping so much more in your mind than it will be. I didn't invite my FSIL in my bridal party, and both her husband & daughter are in the wedding, my cousin is also one of my bridesmaids & her kids are in the wedding, but her husband is not.

When we are doing pics before the wedding, all of the spouses s/o are going to meetup together. If you want to include your husband see if other people spouses are doing anything before the wedding. Also, you can ask your sister if she wants to do a full family photo (be prepared for her to say no though), but we are doing one with my FH grandparents, parents, brother, SIL & niece (and us), and the SIL isn't in the wedding party.

I agree with every single response here. You are overreacting. They aren't obligated to include him because he's married to you.

Of course you want your husband involved but i have to say its not your wedding and not your say. My brother got married in 2017 and i was engaged at the time. I was a bridesmaid but my fh was not asked to he a groomsmen. It was not even a second thought and I didnt care. Id say you are overreacting but if it bothers you that much maybe ask your sister if there is anything your husband can do morning of to help out. It sounds like your husband could care less

Honestly, all of this sounds normal to me, and I think you are making something out of nothing. I am sorry that your feelings are hurt, but I really don't think that your sister and her fiance are trying to insult you or your husband. Try to let it go and be there for your sister. It's not about you.

You're overreacting. It stinks to have him not included but you don't automatically include someone's husband just because they're married. I would think it's a bit odd to be seated away from him at the reception but that's really the only thing I can possibly think to complain about here.
Your sister is getting married, not you. You can survive a few hours without being with your husband.

You're definitely overreacting. The only thing that seems disrespectful would be her seating him at another table, that is extremely rude but it is common so I would be prepared for it.

Your husband is not a groomsman, and would not be in the processional or the grand entrance since he is not part of the wedding party. He wouldn't be getting ready with anyone either, since he is a guest.

Please don't say anything to her about it.

I do think you're snowballing something that is normal. I understand wanting your husband to be there, and most of the weddings you've been to may have had that as the 'norm.' However, she is under no obligation to have him as a groomsman. She doesn't even have to have you as a MOH. As per walking in alone, that's not unusual. I've seen it both ways when the bridal party walks in along or with the groomsman. I've been in this situation, and it can get awkward. But it's entirely her decision.

The areas where I'd ask is whether they want him in the main family photos, sitting arrangements during the reception and if you can dance with him for the wedding party dance. Either way, remember it's not a personal slight. It's about how they want their wedding day structured.

It's up to the bride and groom to choose their bridal parties. There's no requirement to include your husband just because he's married to you, so I'd let this go

I do think it’s a bit overreacting and would let it go. I have married sisters that are in my wedding, but neither of their husbands are. Your husband can relax on the wedding day. As for entering on your own, that is a little odd as most bridal parties I’ve seen have been announced as a pair like BM & MOH come out together, but I would speak to your sister about thaT

Bridesmaids, MOH, and Best Man or groomsmen, do not generally have their spouse in the wedding party, unless the spouse is such a close friend that spouse also would have been a BM or GM on their own merits. Meaning, if your husband is not such a good friend of the groom that he would have been chosen to be GM if he were not dating or married to you, then there is no reason for him to be in the wedding party. Groom's choice, not bride's and most definitely not yours. You are overstepping to push groom to do what he clearly does not want. Leave it alone. . . As for MOH, yes, if you are married, you are a Matron of Honor, not a maid of honor. Your sister clearly does not understand that in the title, a Matron is an old term for married woman. Insist on that. Tell her the majority of people will think the bride a fool if she does not know to call a married woman Matron, not maid ( for maiden, unmarried woman ). And surely she does not want other people laughing at her ignorance, does she? . . . Hope the couple is kind and seats WP with their SO at the same table. Ask her to do it. You may be the only one married, but people's fiances or dates will all resent being seated separate. I haven't seen that more than once in the last 50 weddings. Fewer and fewer people separate WP from SO these days. . . Whether you spent thousands on parties, or made brownies topped with ice cream and used your yard for a $100 shower was entirely your choice. You are not owed anything extra for spending more . But for all of your planning help and service, for wedding and also for party planning, your sister owes you a special, individual gift of thanks . She needs to recognize your efforts as something special. . . . Your husband's dilemma is a common one. I hate it when people assume hours and hours of group grooming time will be spent with the bride. It is a recent trend I hate. I prefer the more traditional style where BP, like GM, arrive dressed and groomed for pictures, and any with SO may spend earlier in the day with them. Doing their own HMU, or going just for an hour or so to a pro, then returning to their own room or home and SO to spend the rest of the time. We did it that way. Doing their own arrangements, everybody including me, and FI, and all BP showered and dressed in their own rooms and baths with SO or alone, during the same 1 1/2 hours. Just the same as for any formal party, where people take care of themselves or each other at home. It is really your choice. As long as at least 1 person, can be family or one BP, is with the bride, there is no reason everyone has to be. Your choice. If you would rather get ready and spend earlier in the day with your husband, speak up and do it. Just be ready for pictures. When you agree to be BM or MOH, or on groomside, you must get the clothes, show for pictures and the wedding, and at least the first part of the reception . Recently people have been imitating a Celebrity Entourage model seen on TV and in movies. A group surrounding the bride. But that is optional. As you and husband know, it is really awful for a spouse or date. And has never been necessary in the past, and usually is not now. If you feel strongly about it, tell the bride you want to be with your husband til pictures. But it is not necessary to give hubby a place in the WP if you want to spend prep time together. Just don't schedule time as a group except pictures.