I'm feeling miserable

Not in this way, though. I have a heavy load of stuff going on (school, work, health), but the wedding is causing the most stress. Yes, we should do this for us but we want to make sure we do this right. The last thing either of us want is to perceive our wedding being "tacky". I've talked to my fiance about it but while he means well and is as stressed, he would always say "try not to talk about it for a few days". But night after night, day after day, there's nightmares and fears about the wedding that I can not shake. Do I want to marry him? Of course I do, whether if it's now or later. But should I feel this way about planning? No.

Hi Bee, I'm so sorry to hear you are depressed I'd also recommend talking to someone you trust. Have you looked into speaking with a school counselor? I did this before when I was going through a rough time and it really helped just to unload on someone without having to worry.

Don't be afraid to tell people the truth. Decide on a new date and let people know that you needed more time to save up for your dream wedding... trust me they will understand. I would give yourself a much needed break from wedding planning and take some time to re-evaluate what you want from your wedding.

Doing something low key like a destination wedding or eloping might be a good choice for you. There are also certain venues that have all-inclusive packages you can book so that you don't have to worry about anything.

A wedding should be a happy time, sure there will be some stress but overall it should be an enjoyable experience. If you don't feel that way then I think you need to reconsider the type of wedding you are having and do something that the both of you will actually enjoy. Good luck!

I wanted to elope but FI made comments about no inviting grandmothers and whatnot. So had to scrap that. I want to scale down but sending STDs out made it impossible to do that. My real dream wedding was to have a small church wedding and celebrate it on the beach. However, my brother and his FI selfishly took that dream away by using our idea. Now they've changed their minds and having a local wedding.

Have you talked to your FI about how you are feeling? honestly if you think that this is truly triggering depression symptoms he should reeeeeeeeeally listen and i would hope he would want to make those symptoms go away.

wedding planning is NOT worth this. i promise. please take care of yourself and stop worrying about your guests and what they think until you figure out what YOU want.

I would elope. Wedding planning was not stressful at all for me. It should be something you enjoy. If you aren't enjoying it, it's not worth the effort. Or scale your wedding way back and have something small with family only. And if your FH has a problem with that, let him plan it.

I would tell FI all the time about this. Of course he makes an effort to make me feel better but whenever he say "try not to think about it for days" or "I don't know", it's as though he's trying to change the subject without resolving the issue. And @Samantha, he wants to scale down but it's TACKY to dis-invite anyone who received a STD card.

What is your current wedding date?

honestly, i am on the "it's tacky to not send an invite to people who got an STD" train, but i truly do think there are extenuating circumstances. if your date is still a few months away, you could go elope and then send an announcement to everyone explaining that your plans changed and thanking them for their support (or whatever)

Our original date is 8/16/14, which is more than 7 months away.

It sounds like the big event isn't up your alley which is fine! Plans change all the time and I think people ultimately understand.

It sounds like you and FH are on slightly different pages so why don't you marry (no pun intended) both of your ideas and just do a smaller, simpler wedding that both of you will love and enjoy. You could still get married, have your grandmothers present but just on a smaller scale. I would rather have a family member or friend change their mind about things than be miserable for a long period of time.

Could you elope some place close by and then have a small get together after for everyone who got an STD? You could always send everyone you invited a surprise we eloped invitation like these and ask them to join you for a party to celebrate:

Elope. We are doing a DW & I am not stressed or having nearly the problems most people are having. We are planning a party for when we get back. It's been so nice.

I want to elope but he doesn't. He feels we're being selfish for leaving people out. But that's what got us in trouble in the first place. For me, the only important people that I want to come to my wedding is my parents, my siblings and their families, my grandmother (if she can fly) and my friends. He, on the other hand, have a big family which is hard to pick and choose. I even told him a compromise by having a DW at a neutral state. In our case, that neutral state would be Delaware or Maryland since we live in Pennsylvania and most of my family live in New York. It's close but far enough to be considered a DW. *sigh*

I think you really need to sit down with your FH and talk to him. Let him know that this is causing you tons of stress and not becoming the wedding you want anymore. If he wants to do a local wedding and invite tons of people then you should allocate money for a full service planner. I think he really needs to compromise either way because a wedding should make both of you happy.