Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Discussion closed

Beginner April 2019

I'd liketo ask my friends to contribute to my wedding day

Amber, on March 30, 2018 at 8:34 AM

Everything I've read seems to say its the worst thing I could think of doing. Asking my friends to contribute a service to my wedding day.

Example: I have a good friend who is a hair dresser. Can I ask her to do my hair on the day?
I have three friends who are great at photography.. why can't I assign them 1 hour of photos as my wedding present and get guests to take other shots on their phones. Can I ask a mate to work the bar in between ceremony and reception as my wedding gift? Is this reasonable? As my friend I feel like they wouldn't mind at all. Longer and not so fun jobs I'm happy to hire but just for an hour to pitch in and help? I don't think its that bad. Is it rude? AM I out of my mind? I want them to enjoy the day just as much as anyone else but I trust them that they could do these contributions well and save me money at the same time.

Show all

50 Comments

Master September 2018
FutureMrs.L · on March 30, 2018 at 10:46 AM
Flag

Hide content
No one attacked her. No one called her rude. We said ASKING, and EXPECTING them to gift their services is rude. No one called HER rude... Hypocritical of you to say others are being rude, when you're commenting calling us rude...
Master April 2017
EM · on March 30, 2018 at 10:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
My brother was “assigned” “DJ” at a wedding he flew across the country for this summer. His gf was a bridesmaid.
It has been almost a year and he STILL is pissed about it. Did he say anything to the couple? Nope. Did he say something to absolutely everyone else? You betcha.

Trust me, people aren’t going to be as excited to work for you for free as you think they are.
Just Said Yes May 2019
Jessica · on March 30, 2018 at 10:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I just think a majority of the people replying could be a little more friendly around here. I read post after post of attack-type replies, and I can only imagine how the poster is feeling. I read one yesterday where she literally said she was in tears after reading the replies.
Master April 2017
EM · on March 30, 2018 at 10:58 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
But the point of coming to WW is to get the unbiased feedback that you won’t get from your friends and family. This is not a support group or a place where we all poop sunshine and rainbows (despite how hard the WW rebrand is trying to make it so).

If if someone CHOOSES to take the feedback personally or CHOOSES to feel attacked (instead of taking the sometimes harsh criticism as intended...which is to help) then that is totally on that person.

This is the internet. This is a public forum. If someone is unwilling to take another perspective into account (even if harshly presented) then they should think twice about posting.
Super August 2019
Bianca · on March 30, 2018 at 10:59 AM
Flag

Hide content
To answer your question, I don’t think you’re out of your mind, BUT I don’t think most guests would appreciate it.

Only you know your friends and it sounds like it’s a pretty acceptable thing to do within your circle, so just go ahead and do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Devoted June 2018
Morgan · on March 30, 2018 at 11:05 AM
Flag

Hide content
Haha I probably wouldn't, but you know your friends better than I do. I might ask my friend to do my hair, but I wouldn't ask for anything during the wedding unless it was meaningful (I.E. brother who plays guitar to play during ceremony)
Expert June 2018
CBD to Be · on March 30, 2018 at 11:18 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Exactly this. I think this is a "know your audience" thing. If I were assigned a duty as a friend's wedding, I would think it was rude as all get-out. I'd likely decline, skip the wedding entirely, send a gift, and re-evaluate the friendship. But if this practice is accepted in your circle, YMMV.

Expert April 2018
mjfortwedding · on March 30, 2018 at 11:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
If you’re assuming it’s their “gift” I think it’s rude.
“You’re going to take pictures from 12-1 for me as a present.” I wouldn’t take kindly to that especially because I like to give physical gifts and now you took my choice away especially if I wasn’t intending to give you a gift or something.
Is the friend who you want to work the bar licensed? If not they could be liable if someone is over served and that’s not a good thing.
Asking people to do it and paying them is one thing and some may let you know “no I’ll do this as a gift” but honestly just hire someone... the hairdresser I think is fine because it’s not like she’ll be doing your hair during the ceremony and reception but you should pay her not assume it’s a gift or tell her it’s a gift.