I'd liketo ask my friends to contribute to my wedding day

My friend is a Mua and volunteered to do the bridesmaids make up for free. A different mua is doing mine. I have a friend doing photography and I'm paying her 2200, she charges 4000 for the package she's giving me. My FH is buying a camera worth $2000 for his friends( they are 2) to shoot the wedding, the best man will do the editing since he's a videographer.

Why don't you hire them instead of asking them to contribute?
This is how they make their living.

So basically if they don't offer, unless you ask, you prolly should give them something.

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That all sounds lovely. Its so nice to have a personal touch to it rather than just hire someone, at least the money is going to friends as well. I hope you have a lovely day !!

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Actually none of them are paid professionals at the current time but either stay at home mums now or similar. But of course I would offer but I'm sure they'd say the same thing "consider it your wedding gift" but I'd leave it up to them to make that call.

View Quoted Comment If that's the case, I would insist on paying them.
My general rule of thumb is if you wanted to invite them to the wedding as friends, don't ask them to work. They should be present as guests and be able to enjoy it without having to worry about responsibilities.

One of my best friends owns a DJ company and offered to DJ for free, but I told him no, I'd rather he were a guest. Instead he is sending one of his other DJs, and I'll pay him what he would normally make for that amount of time. So essentially my friend isn't making any money, but can be a guest and we can still use his company.

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That's a good idea. Then no one misses out! Thanks for taking the time to comment!

I definitely think this is a cultural and regional thing. It's obvious you live in a different country than most commenting so I'd say we aren't really in the best place to give advice on etiquette since it truly does vary greatly based on culture.

If this is acceptable in your culture then just ignore what you've read here.

View Quoted Comment Cool! Awesome. I invoice my friends when they ask me to things for them. No one ever asks for a tip. That's the point of a tip. I've invoiced my own husband for services rendered. It's part of being a professional.

I also saw only one of your friends is a professional. If it isn't their actual occupation, I would avoiding asking them to do something they are unfamiliar with. Do you really want an amateur working on your wedding day?

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Thanks for that.. I just joined tonight and yes different country. Still trying to find out how to delete this post and unsubscribe. Definitely not the type of feedback I was after but I did ask for it so I appreciate everyone taking the time to express their opinion and especially the more helpful comment like yourself. Thanks again

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Each to their own. I would never charge a friend for a service let alone my FH

My friend is a HMUA, she wants to do my Hair and makeup for the wedding.. If, that's a big IF, I do this, i'll get a contract and pay her. She's an amazing HMUA, and i'm not going to exploit or use my friendship to get it for free. Another friend of mine is a professional wedding photographer, an amazing one too! I'd rather her be a guest and enjoy the evening, than working for free... Which i'd never ask for nor accept.

You're expecting them to gift their services, it's incredibly rude to do so. You're basically taking advantage on your friendship to get normally otherwise expensive services for free....

View Quoted Comment If you are convinced this is a "my country is different" why not ask a few people their opinions on it (not the people you plan to ask to work for free). See if they think it's okay. If they do think it's a fair way to treat guests then you are all set.

You asked opinions on a public forum. Did you not think there would be people challenging your idea?

If you want this closed or deleted email the mods.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I make my living providing professional services. If I never charged anyone I'd never pay any of my bills.

My husband and I have an app where we both contribute. He invoices me for computer programming. I invoice him for data analysis. You can't really run a business on love.

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I have... the girls at work think its a great idea. But I wanted a public opinion yes as stated in my original post "Am I out of my mind?" I clearly was looking for some good honest feedback as I already considered it to be a big request. Clearly you've take it all a bit too literally. As I've said I appreciate the comments and feedback is feedback negative or positive. Thanks for your time

View Quoted Comment Did you seriously "hun" me?

You are the one who posted that you were asking for these things as gifts. From your op (emphasis mine)

"I have three friends who are great at photography.. why can't I ASSIGN them 1 hour of photos as my wedding PRESENT and get guests to take other shots on their phones. Can I ASK a mate to work the bar in between ceremony and reception as my wedding GIFT"

Asking for presents is never polite. And don't throw the but a registry is asking for presents thing out. Registries are there to provide guidance as to things you would like for guests who specifically ask or go looking for the information

View Quoted Comment Did you mean this question to not be taken literally? Is this post a metaphor for something else? Why would we not take you literally?

You took a small, biased sample and they agreed with you.

You took a large, unbiased sample and a majority didn't agree with you.

Idk about you but I'd go with a large unbiased sample then those prone to confirmation bias.

So when posters ask for advice, you hate it when we reply?
No one called her rude.

You should be hosting your friends. if one of them offers its a different thing. For example, one of my friends offered to do the hair and make up. So she is doing that. But I didn't ask. I want all of my guests to have fun at my wedding.