I was wondering how much to give as a gift...

My FH and I went to 3 weddings this summer. Two couples we were close with we gave $200. The other we gave $150. If we weren't having our own wedding we may have done a little more.

According to the site we were low.

I just always assumed you would want to give enough to cover your plate and then a gift on top of it. That's how it used to be anyway. Now wedding expenses have gotten so out of hand, it's hard for people to do that. For example if you are going to a backyard buffet bbq type wedding, you could probably figure around $30-40pp then give a gift on top. So for close friend/family I would give $100, if I was alone. If I went to a Saturday night plated dinner at a fancy venue, it should be more like $200, agin for close family/friend. Because it's probably closer to $70-$100pp and then a gift on top of it. Again, if I was alone. If I was with my FH, we should really be looking at giving at least $300-$400.

Last wedding i went to i gave $200, and it was a old college friend i hadnt seen in years, but we had to drive to Maine from CT and stay overnight. So if it was closer i wouldnve given more.

This site suggested I give way more than I was panning for my friend's wedding. I don't know why the season effect the gift though.

This is interesting. I just put in the info for one of my BM and there is NO way she will be giving us anything worth $125. I don't really expect her to, either. I'm not sure most people follow what this is telling me.

In my experience, I think older, more established guests tend to give more. Those who are just starting out or in their 20s tend to give a little less.

I was always told enough to cover the per person cost of a wedding, and round up to the nearest $50 increment, (e.x., if it was approx $80/pp then you give $100 per guest attending).

Awesome tool, thanks for sharing!

I was trying to figure out that also Chrissy- if its in season are you probably going to more weddings and might give less? I don't know the logic...Obviously no calculator for this would be perfect, you give what you give...but it also asks for your state...I'd think it would also depend if you were in/near a big city or wealthy area...

I just went to a family member's wedding last month, and since we are planning our own, we couldn't afford a huge gift like everyone else. We gave what we could, sent a note saying that, and left it alone. I'm sure they'll say something amongst themselves, but no one would say anything to my face. I felt bad but we're on a budget!

We give a minimum of $200, but it's usually $300.

This is an interesting tool. I imagine the season might be because it's more expensive to have a wedding during peak season. So in order to cover your plate during peak season is going to be more than it would be for off peak.

My FH usually gave $150.00 when he was single, I have people that I work with that only give $50.00. So really there is such a large range and difference. The few monetary gifts we've gotten from people unable to attend were both $100.00.

Depends on the person really, and your relationship to them.

Edited: for spelling

Hmmm not sure I love that the calculator factors in season of the wedding, formality level, or the pre-wedding events. So if someone decides to have a casual wedding you don't have to gift as much? Not into it.

My standard rule is $100 per person (so $200 as a couple), if I'm very close with them I'll give a little more, if we're not close with them at all a little less - but never less than $75 per person. That being said, everyone is different and these things vary a lot based on your local expectations and salary level!

Wow, I've been completely off on this, and I feel terrible! I had no idea you were supposed to cover your cost of per person, that makes TOTAL sense though. But I have to say, as a guest, how would you even know what the number could be if you've never planned a wedding before? You just guess? And if you buy the gift early, how do you really know if you've never been to the venue or know what they are serving for dinner?

Just stating I like that etiquette just seems a little unknown most of the time!

Covering the plate is a myth.....in my area? that could be 500.00, which is fine if you have it.

I'd say 100. per guest

Echoing Celia, you don't *have* to cover the cost of your plate. That's a total myth. Give what you can afford.

I gave $75 at the last wedding that I went to. But I also factored in the fact that I spent close to $200 on alcohol for her bach party that the MOH "hosted", the $100 on going out to dinner, the $100 on odds and ends for the wedding decor and emergency kit for the day of as well as airfare/travel expense definitely affected my gift. Maybe that was in poor taste, but I had planned on giving $200, but my cash got eaten away by all the expenses that were higher than expected and nobody from the BP pitching in to help with the bach party expense (they were surprised at the cost of alcohol lol).

ETA: That calculator said I should have given $70, so I guess I was spot on lol.

I wish people would give what they could afford, but that's not necessarily what happens. Case in point: My friend married a brain surgeon. A good number of the guests were doctors and surgeons. Most of them gave $100 per couple, and no one gave more than $200 per couple.

It told me we should give them $215. What a strange amount.... And for having a wedding in their friends backyard and ordering pizza for everyone for dinner.... Sorry, but $215 is a bit steep for the shit show I'm about to witness.