I was wondering how much to give as a gift...

For every wedding we have been to in the last couple years, we always throw a crisp new $100 bill in the card. I get where you should atleast be giving whatever it was to cover the cost of the food, but to be really honest here, can't really afford much more than that. We are paycheck to paycheck folk over here.

Technically you are supposed to cover your plate, but the circumstances warrant otherwise sometimes. You should consider how close you are to the couple, your age, the location of the wedding, any travel expenses incurred, if you've been invited to pre-wedding events, etc. Myself for example, I'm a 22 year old bride-to-be, I have a decent steady income but I am not finished with school yet. FH is 25 and has a pretty good income. For a close friend/family, I'd give $200- $250 (FH and I combined), for a co-worker/acquaintance/casual friend, I'd probably give $150-$175 combined. It's all relative.

Edit: Also, the style of the wedding. A backyard wedding with buffet style catering, I would definitely give less than a 5-course dinner at a 5 star hotel. Its very subjective.

Thanks for the input everyone. Since it's usually taboo to talk candidly about money, it really helps to hear everyones figures.

Why should the formality of the wedding dictate how much you give as a gift? Why does someone who can only afford a backyard wedding get less money than someone with a five course meal at a fancy hotel? Your relationship with the couple should dictate your gift - family member, close friend, coworker. As Celia said, covering your plate is a myth. I'll get off my soapbox now

Wow! Realizing I was raised super blue collar and yup poor. My own grandmother gave me $50 for my first wedding. $50-$100 seems standard for the weddings I have attended. I didn't register for gifts over $100 save one dream item. I don't expect anything more than a card from most of my guests. I will just be happy that they come to celebrate. Especially my guests driving 3 hours from Boston to Maine and paying for hotel rooms. I wonder if I should reiterate that I don't expect gifts from them?

We are getting married out of the country and so I don't expect much at all from anyone here. My grandmother gave us $150, my dad gave us $500, my uncle gave us $100, and a friend from college gave us $45. That about sums up all of our gifts and we are a week away from the wedding. Class levels are much different here in Ghana so my expectation for any gifts are low, that way anything we do get will be a surprise. Thus, the life of an expat and choosing to get married here instead of in the US.

I had a really close friend get married and I have $100 cash. However, we BM equally paid for her bridal shower and bachelorette party. Had I not had those expenses, I would have given her more. Another friend got married and I paid for 2 nights hotel as a gift, which equaled $400+. However, I would expect anyone to give what they can afford. Even if it's $0, I still want them there.

It also suggested I give $215, but that's way more than I can afford to spend! As MOH I'm putting $ towards the dress, shoes, my hair and makeup (the bride is not paying for it), hotel night for 2 nights (its an OOT wedding), plus threw a bridal shower and bachelorette weekend at the beach. My friend actually gave us $150 for our wedding, but she and her FH make over $100,000 EACH and H and I make around $90,000 TOGETHER so we will most likely be writing her a check for $100 and call it a day.

We're attending a wedding next weekend and I'm really starting to debate what we should give now. They don't have a registry which makes it a little more difficult..we really can't afford to give them $250, because our wedding is two weeks after theirs and we honestly need every penny we can get. I suspect they might just give that money right back to us two weeks later...but still, I'm going to feel awful if I undergive.

They did set up a honeyfund though (they are moving out of the country soon, so I get it their reasoning), and I'm SO glad I didn't give to that, knowing that it takes $$ away from them and to the site. We're bringing a card instead.

Well, I guess it depends on where u live or the people you know. Growing up in Brooklyn, I was taught that you give as much as you can give and depending how close you are to the person you give more. However, moving to Long Island has taught me the covering your plate plus a gift rule it's definitely not a myth. People here get veeery offended if you don't at least cover the plate. Plates here can average $150. Who the flip can afford being invited to a wedding like that?!!! For my wedding, I just want our friends n family to come. It's not their fault if I want a fancy wedding or not.

Dang, I shoulda invited you guys! Most of our gifts were $50 with a few $100 gifts in there from my Aunt, and Uncle and Aunt and my brothers. I usually do 50 or $75.

HA! According to that site, I did not give enough for my coworker's wedding last week. And the number it gave me? Not something I could afford to give for most weddings, regardless of time of year, formality, or time of day. It says it takes your salary into account but...eh, I give what I can afford. If I'm close to you, I give you more. If I'm not, I give slightly less.

I just put in my MOH's info for our wedding and HOLY SHIT that thing is saying she should give us $350. I would in NO WAY EVER expect her to give us that much after all the BM related expenses she has.

lol its interesting to see. I will say the last few weddings FH & I went to we did give close to that but we had no involvement in the weddings and we are in NYC so I know those weddings were $$$