i was demoted as moh

Yikes! Honestly, I feel like this is pretty poor etiquette on the bride's part.

I’m so sorry to hear this, as you sound like you really care a lot and put tons of effort and money and time into this. Did you guys have any sort of tiff at all or anything that you could think of that Would’ve made you bump her out as her MOH? If there is no rhyme or reason for her doing this then yes she is completely wrong! I would however as hard as it can be at times just suck it up and bite my tongue and get through the wedding and not pay for anything else and not go the extra mile at all. I definitely would not confront the other maid of honor as the other maid of honor did not choose to participate, she was chosen and this really comes down to aBad decision your bride friend made. I know it’s hard because it’s your friend and you truly care about her from what it seems And you seemed genuinely and excited to be here maid of honor for the post but you have to just swallow your pride and sort of deal with it. I would not put any more money at all towards thisWedding and me personally, this is grounds for making a breaking a friendship. A bride should never just go around promoting and demoting her friends unless there’s a specific reason for her actions

Is she saying she wants BOTH of you as MOH or she specifically wants you as a bridesmaid instead and only have this girl as MOH? Are you not a bridesmaid anymore either?

That's a ridiculous reason to demote someone as MOH. Her friend could still sign the marriage license without being MOH. This is not normal in my opinion. I would keep going forward with being in the wedding but I would not put in any extra effort for it nor continue to help the bride. Just be there for the day of.

Can you return the decorations?
Like you have every right to be salty. This is rude of her.

View Quoted Comment It’s funny actually, we hardly fight at all! She felt that this other girl should be the one who stands next to her in pictures and who signs the marriage license as a witness. They’ve been friends for 26 years. But like, why wasn’t she asked in the first place? That’s what I’m upset about.

View Quoted Comment I could but wouldn’t that be petty? I still would like to be friends with her because I love and care about her. I don’t know, this is uncharted territory for me.

View Quoted Comment I’m still a bridesmaid, just not the MOH anymore. The other girl is now.

View Quoted Comment In that case For the decor just ask her to split the costs with you then since you are still a bridesmaid

View Quoted Comment She told me before all this happened that she doesn’t have the money to spend and after that, she ignored my texts about planning for the party and stuffing the invites for the shower. I think I’m just going to have to eat the money at this point. I’m more upset about the demotion than anything.

View Quoted Comment Yea you’re totally right about the demotion though that was so Wrong of her! She could have just made you guys co MOH! I had two MOH, nothing is wrong with having two

This is not normal and frankly, I think it's quite rude on the bride's part. I would nicely explain how much time and money you have put into this, and see if the other girl can just sign the marriage license. OR at least see if you both can be MOH's and I think it's okay to ask the other MOH to chip in.

Very odd, especially if there wasn’t a fight. Were you honest about being upset about the demotion? Does the bride know how much you spent already?


For a while I didn’t think my MOH was even going to make it to the wedding because of financial upsets, but I wouldn’t have replaced her even then! Very odd

View Quoted Comment I told her it was okay, I don’t want to add on the stress of a potential fight right before her wedding. But I’m thinking that I might tell her how I feel.

View Quoted Comment She only wants one MOH since there’s only one Best Man and she’s very particular about symmetry for the party. The new MOH already said she doesn’t have the money so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll eat the money at this point.

View Quoted Comment The groom only has one best man and she’s big on symmetry so she only wants one moh ☹️

I am very sorry that the bride did this in as the other people have stated this is definitely very odd that she did that. If her reason is purely just that she wanted this person to stand by her side I would kind of ask her then why does she not make her the maid of honor in the first place. I will probably also question your friendship with the bride to do something like that. Now in regards to being reimbursed for the money I'm sorry to say this and I don't mean to sound rude but it was your decision to spend that amount of money and I know that if someone came to me regardless if I had just been made the maid of honor or not expecting me to pay them for something I would probably say no because I didn't have a say and what you purchase so why should I have to pay the money. I agree with one another person said see what you can return and then you can put the responsibility on her as if my friend was a bride & demoted me before the wedding I wouldn't plan anything. Honestly I don't even think I would be her bridesmaid because that to me is a slap in the face. It's up to you what you want to do but for me I probably just say that you respect your decision but you would just rather be a guest at her wedding.

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Ah man I'm so sorry! This is very unfortunate! I feel like the bride should have thought about this before asking you in the first place. If it was a childhood friend and they're close enough for her to want her friend to sign the license, why wasn't she included in the wedding party in the first place!

I demoted my MOH but I had reason. I originally picked a Maid and Matron of Honor knowing my maid of honor, while a friend of 25 years, it not a planner and was moving from CA to WA. After much thought and sadness I demoted her because we just weren't as close as we used to be and she has never treated my FH very nicely. She does not care for him much but says she is happy I am happy. Either way my FH could feel the she didn't like him and that is a no-no for me. I couldn't imagine having someone who didn't like my FH signing my license or standing directly next to me. Because I couldn't imagine her not in my wedding and she still supports my decision, I kept her as a bridesmaid.

For you she should have just made you both MOH's

View Quoted Comment She didn’t want 2 MOH’s since the groom has only one best man.