I sent too many save the dates!!! How to uninvite?!

Ouch, sorry this didn't work out the way you wanted, what exactly did your STDs say? I know I've seen some that just kind of announce engagement and has the date but no other info...

I don't think I have good advice...I'm with u.

I'm sorry but you really can't cut them once you sent the save the date. Trust me, I wish you could because I'd cut some myself. But if you do, you will be talked about and looked at as extremely rude. All you can really do now is save up and pray for declines.

Honestly, this is one situation where it's really not ok to disregard ettiquette. Obviously, you gotta do what you gotta do but I would look into every other possible solution. People will be offended and in my opinion rightfully so. I'm not trying to be mean because you obviously didn't mean to have this happen.

Did it have the wedding info? Usually those you send a save the date to are always sent an invite. We also sent out a lot but when it came down to RSVP time our number dramatically went down

Ouch.

that is really crappy of the people who committed to help you then backed out.

Maybe your family members who are closest to those who can not be invited can help you cushion the blow to them.

I think most people will understand.

Also, remember that it is unusual for 100% of the guest list to attend, figure 10% off the top are going to decline. For travelers, I would let them know that they are invited to the ceremony only. This may deter some people form coming, but that sort of works in your favor at this point.

I do not envy your position.

Elope before the date that you would have to send invitations! Then send wedding announcements instead.

Also, just to note I think a lot of out of town guests would be annoyed to travel for only the ceremony. How far out of town? Like they need to stay overnight or just an hour or two of travel?

Was your mother the one who was going to help out and invited all of her friends? If she is the one who backed out of the financial committment then I think she should be the one to call her friends and tell them that you have decided to do a smaller ceremony due to financing and although they can attend the ceremony you will only be having a small reception with close friends and family.

I would not uninvite anyone! Maybe wait till you see the declines and maybe it will pan out... only other option is to go a different route on venue or food. Maybe instead of dinner you do a large "pick up" style spread.... fancy cheeses, crackers, fruits, veggies, quiches, different styles of meatballs, cold cut table.... You can cut out a lot of money by just nixing the meal.

Well of course you CAN uninvite. It's stupid to go into debt for a wedding you can't afford..With that being said, it is in very bad form to uninvite people..they may have already made travel arrangments once they got the STD..You may be severing some relationships by disinviting people..In the past some brides have sent out postcards/email saying the budget has changed and they can't invite everyone they thought they could..

Now for those B listers you can't leave them hanging..if you choose to disinvite them expect they will be offended..You can't just tell them "maybe" and that they were on the B list. You have to cut them if you are going to.

For any other brides expecting money from family members, please plan the wedding you can afford and then when you have cash/cleared check in hand add on to the wedding. This happens a lot that family members back out.

PS- just read the second part in your OP..please don't invite people only to the ceremony and not the reception; that will be seen as very rude. Either have no reception and just the ceremony if you want to save face..or scale down your reception and have just cake and punch..That's probably what I would do. I'd want to avoid the awkwardness.

Have you made deposits to caterers already?

I would re-schedule the wedding "due to unforeseen circumstances." Then thank everyone for their congratulations and well wishes. Then re-plan with your real guest list in mind for another date. I've learned, don't count on anyone paying for things until they have actually forked over the funds.

Unfortunately it's pretty rude to uninvite people. Can you start the search for a new venue? There are a million places to have a wedding.

Push the date back or elope.

That sucks that that happened! Honestly if you REALLY can't make it work, I'd send out a postcard saying Due to unforeseen circumstances you have scaled down the wedding. Good luck! I don't envy your position!

Re-work your food and/or cut back a LOT. You don't need favors, flowers, or fancy linens honestly. You can probably still even change the time of day of the wedding and do either lunch or even a cake and punch. But you cannot disinvite people or change the date and exclude everyone. That's super rude. Some people might have already requested time off or made whatever arrangements to be there based on the Save the Date.

P.S. B-listing is never a good idea, and it's never a good idea to count on money before you have it. I know it's too late for this OP, but for anyone else reading

Change the time of the reception to in between meal times and do a cake and punch reception.

or

Push back the date to when you can afford the large guest list with a more elaborate celebration.

Do not invite people to the ceremony and not a reception. Good luck.

I agree that you really shouldn't invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. It's rude. I would agree, too, that maybe you can push the date back or cut down on a full meal and do more of an appetizer kind of thing? I've been given a STD before and then never received an invite and I was highly offended. It'd be extremely rude to uninvite people.

Edit because my phone is stupid and posted my comment before I was done typing.

I feel for you. I'm in a similar situation. we never sent out save the dates, but we did ask people for addresses for invitations. It sucks telling people sorry, we had to change every thing. True friends will understand though.

You can't really uninvite people and you can't invite them to the ceremony and not the reception.

Elope, send announcements and bag the big party, or change your plans to be cocktails and hors d'oeuvers and/or dessert.