I sent too many save the dates!!! How to uninvite?!

I have been to a wedding where guests were there for the ceremony. Then the family had a private dinner followed by a cocktail townie bar reception where the guest showed up again and some small delicacies were served. Of course it does sound not like the norm, but understanding friends would know it costs a lot for a wedding. Another alternative is a park and food truck to scale back. Or a big BBq picnic.

Do it in the afternoon on a Sunday, instead of on a weekend, and serve heavy hors d'ourves and a signature cocktail, in a cocktail setting, instead of a meal and bar with full round tables for everyone.

This is why we cannot stress to not spend money you do not have. It doesn't matter who says what, if that money isn't in your account don't spend it!

I personally would be pissed if I traveled across country to find out I'm not even invited to the party to celebrate it, just to the ceremony.

It wouldn't go over well at all. Especially with everyone being out of town it's hard to tell them to cancel plans and to tell them they aren't even worth a meal. I'd find a cheaper caterer or find a way to scale back a little bit to accommodate everyone you've invited.

You really can't just go around uninviting people without severing friendships/relationships along the way.

I agree with most of the ladies. It would be rude to only invite people to the ceremony but not to the reception and to "uninvite" them. Cut back where you can, don't go off and buy your BMs everything they need. Or push back the day or have a cake and punch reception. If you haven't booked your venue see what your options are for cutting back or having it at a park or something like that.

There really is no way to un-invite them.

If you're getting married in a church, have a reception there following the ceremony (most churches include use of the fellowship hall for the wedding) and make it a cake and punch, maybe light snack thing. Then discretely, or hell, openly spread the word about a "get together" or "after party" for all the close family and friends.

Or you could even put on all the invitations about a light reception following the ceremony, an make it last an hour or so. Then send out invitations separately to your A-listers inviting them to the real party.

Vista print has ALWAYS got awesome deals on invitations, some you can even order for FREE! So if price is a factor, try not to sweat it on invitations. I just got 100 postcards to use for my STDs for $10...which is wwaayy more than i need anyways.

Good luck!!

I wouldn't send the invites to the people on the B list. Once you know who isn't going from your A list that's when you call the B list and give some excuse as to why they didn't get their invitation Or just play dumb. It's your wedding, you have to do what you have to do. Dont feel bad.

You can uninvite guests. Etiquette is just to please others and frankly this day isn't about them. The one who pays gets to say and if people are offended by the lack of a meal or cheap decor or whatever seems to chaf the entitled folks, then they're reaction isn't your problem. It's your day and its about two people getting married...everyone else is just privileged to witness the event.

I agree that there are always ways to cut expense. You could just have a cake reception. In fact, that is a traditional reception. You can always have a meal afterwards for immediate family and the wedding party. Otherwise you can make A LOT of lasagna on the cheap.

Don't stress. Focus on what matters most to you and brush off the etiquette slime.

I would send out with your a and b list. But those that were added extra, like your moms friends, I would just send a dance only invite. I did it this way to afford everyone coming. Those invited to the ceremony came to the dinner, which is at the church. Then I had a seperate place for dance and cake. Try to find ways to cut expenses in other places to help offset costs. I am doing my own food for under $200 for 100 people. Make and send your own invites, using your computer. Maybe email invites to those you have email addresses for, however immediate family it would be more proper to do an actual invite. I have spent about $2,500 and no details were left out. Ceremony has 100 guests and dance has another 70 added. Try sheet cake for serving and if you really want a tier cake for cake cutting photos, get small one. Good luck!

Sorry, but you cant uninvite people! your just gonna have to wait for the response cards and remember only 80% of people you invite come to the wedding anyways!

Y'all gotta stop with this 80% stuff. There a many a bride on here who have a 100% RSVP and too small a venue!!!

Op, the best thing to do is cancel the current date, send regret cards. Redo guest list and do it by your own budget. Pick a new date(preferably one a month after the current at least), and go from there.

To uninvited guests you say you had to scale back for family only and close friends. For invited guests, you say you somehow managed to have a WTF moment and put the wrong date on everything, and the new date is the right date.

The best way to deal with this is to restructure your event to accommodate everyone who was sent a STD. Then, you won't have to even consider inviting some guests to some parts of the wedding, and some guests to all parts of the wedding (you can call it etiquette or you can call it caring about the feelings of other people, but the end result is the same: over 100 guests will realize that they didn't make the cut).

The bottom line is that 260 people received unsolicited STDs for your wedding. I'm sure they would all enjoy the cocktail/appetizer reception that Celia mentioned. Really, these aren't "less than" receptions, and guests will not automatically assume you over-invited and needed to scale back. They're trendy, more relaxed, and a lot of fun (I usually like cocktail hours more than the actual reception. The food selection is huge, and it's really far more interesting than the usual wedding fare: beef, chicken, fish, potato, and a veggie).

Contact your caterer right away

I'd be sending a notice that instead of the large lavish ceremony you will be married at the courthouse & will notify everyone with a later date for the large party

and then never notify them...

Pick up and do a destination wedding. They wont make it lol

Have it at sunrise.

My most recent advice to friends has been not to send save-the-dates, because unfortunately I feel the people you want to invite to your wedding may change a fair amount in 6 months. For example, the friend on mine who started talking behind my back- I wish I hadn't sent her a save the date so I didn't have to send her invite to the wedding. Luckily, she isn't coming to the wedding.

Do the a and b list. If the A list is still too long, cut some more people to the B list. Then those who you cant feed, if they mention it, tell them it got lost in the mail, or just do what i would do and tell the the truth upfront. It may be bad ettiquette but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Have it at a church Sunday morning right after service (seen it happen) afterwards if the church has a reception hall see if family (not the family who was supposed to help) can all come together and cook. It's fun and not too much, and cheap! I would elope...

Elope or cut else where. It'll look really bad to not invite all these people.

You can't do an A and B list after you've sent out STDs. They're all A list once they get the magnet in the mailbox.