i really don't want one of my Bm's "boyfriend" to come

I have the unpopular opinion of if you don't want someone at your wedding, then don't let them go to your wedding.
Keep in mind that this may affect your friendship with your bridesmaid.

Yes, you are in the wrong. Its her SO, he gets an invite.

Long story short, yes. If a guest is in a relationship, regardless of the length of time they should be allowed to bring their special person. You do not separate romantic units.

Well it would suck to not be able to bring your boyfriend, even though you may not like him that's still her significant other. Normally you allow a bf/husband to attend as their guest. It is your wedding so if you really don't want him to come just be prepared if she backs out because of it.

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What if they aren't in a relationship. She tells me they're not together so I just put boyfriend in quotations because I don't know what else to call the guy.

Yes you're wrong. It's her relationship to define however she wants so its not up to you to claim whether he's her "boyfriend" or they're "exclusive". She wants to bring him and she should be allowed to.

I trust you have far greater reasons not to like him that you chose not to share, other than he wanted her to come with him one night after graduation. Hanging on to that is a bit petty.

You don't get to judge someone's relationship. Whether they are boyfriend/girlfriend is irrelevant.

Your BM gets a plus one. She gets to decide who that is.

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I feel like you're going to be the only one with the "unpopular" opinion lol

I understand not wanting to invite someone you're not a fan of but, there's going to be so much going on that day that you probably won't have to deal with him. He's your friend's SO even if he hasn't asked her to be his girlfriend. FH never actually asked me to be his girlfriend. It doesn't make it less of a relationship. FH and I don't like FSIL's boyfriend's kids. But we're still inviting them because we know FSIL considers them her kids. We didn't want to invite them at first but the reality is we're probably going to spend like 30 seconds with them because we'll be pulled in so many different directions.

I believe every adult should be given a plus one if they are not in a relationship. I see here on WW often that even if you don't offer plus ones to your guests, it should given to your WP, so yes I do think you are wrong here. Doesn't matter how their relationship is defined, she should be allowed to bring this guy if that's who she chooses. Sorry you don't like him, but seriously you won't have to deal with him at all.

When my FHs cousin got married he RSVPd for two and she called him within minutes to tell him he was not allowed to bring a plus one. Not just me but a plus one in general. I was respectful about it and didn’t make it a fuss bc the day is about the couple getting married NOT THE GUESTS. Later I found out she let pretty much everyone bring a plus one EXCEPT him. I think that’s bs and now that we’re getting married it’s tempting to not to invite her. Bottom line is.. It’s your day, you invite who you want. The day is about you and your FH, if you don’t want him there then stand your ground. However, with that, I do agree that it’s not fair to them couple. Flash forward and my FH and I are getting married regardless if she invited me to her wedding or not, ya know? Now there is just tension between us and my FH even said he didn’t want to invite her over it. I can see how he would be a distraction and potentially make your big day hard for her. If you aren’t limiting other people’s plus ones, it’s not fair to limit hers. BUT it’s also your day so don’t let people make you feel bad.

So you don’t like the guy cause he wanted to go home with his SO and she went with him instead of sleeping over? Are we talking high school graduation or college?

You shouldn’t be the one to judge the validity of your friend’s relationship and it’s rude to split couples. There are one or two people I’m not the biggest fans of on my guest list, but they are the bf or gf of my friends and I’m probably going to see them for like 2 seconds. You don’t have to interact with the guy if you don’t want to.

If you want her to attend then he will be attending also

She automatically gets to bring a guest to your wedding. Whether they are exclusive or not is NONE of your business, she should be allowed to bring any date she wants. Maybe they will break up for real before your wedding who knows? But you don't get to be the judge of whether they're in a real relationship or not.

Tell her staight up. I had almost the exact situation! Just be blunt, this is YOUR wedding! She doesn't get to decide who comes!

At the very LEAST, the members of your WP should be granted plus 1s. These are VIP guests, and as such, should be allowed to bring dates.

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Okay the way he was telling her to leave was like demanding her to do so and I personally did not appreciate him treating her like that.

Look I'm sorry if my joke about getting pinned bothered you - but its really archaic and rude to assume only people who have publicly announced their relationship status are in valid relationships.

I know plenty of people who are in loving committed relationships who don't go around announcing their status as a couple or posting about it or even referring to it at all. How they choose to live their lives has nothing to do with you. They are dating which makes them a social unite.

View Quoted Comment Ok but that’s your friend’s problem, not yours. You don’t get to control her relationship with anyone else, but you could absolutely destroy your relationship with her if you forbid her boyfriend from attending your wedding.

Every member of the wedding party should be allowed to bring their SO or be given a "plus one" for whomever they choose to bring. So, either way on this one, even if you don't see him as an official SO, she should still get a plus one, and if he's her choice, then you graciously say, "Awesome! I'm looking forward to seeing him again."

Unless it's a situation where he's potentially dangerous (e.g., abusive, violent), the right thing to do is let it go. You are not going to have the time or energy to spend on him, so it really shouldn't impact you on your wedding day. (And, if you're thinking, "well, if he's there she's not going to be paying as much attention to me as a bridesmaid should," I think you need to remind yourself of the often stated rule that a BMs only job is to show up relatively sober, in the selected dress -- beyond that, there are no requirements. She can spend her time with whomever she chooses and leave when she wants to. I get that might be disappointing, but it's important to respect others' rights/choices.)