I feel like I am annoying my caterer

Currently, I am trying to set up a meeting with her for the first week of August. She agreed to set up an appointment when I emailed two weeks ago. I asked her when worked best for her. She never responded. So, I followed up today and just said “Does X day and time work for you? I have a bunch of appointments I am trying to juggle and meeting with you is a priority for me, so I want to get it nailed down.” And she fired back an email that basically said it’s fine to want to book something in advance, but she has corporate events she is trying to schedule and people who are paying for her time take priority.

I am paying for her time. We are, in fact, paying many thousands of dollars. And asking for one face-to-face meeting with a vendor once now and once two months out from the wedding didn’t seem like I was overreaching? It is early, I know. But caterers are responsible for so much and I have a lot of questions. I will only be in town two times. Am I being unreasonable to want to meet with my most expensive vendor? I feel awkward now…

I would be looking for a new venue.

That is extremely rude and unprofessional of her. You have every right to want to meet and ask questions and as you are their client they should treat you with respect. It sounds like they may be over busy, but that doesn't excuse her actions.

You are not unreasonable at all.

Honestly, if it were me, I would find a new venue, and a new caterer.

You are a paying customer, your event just happens to be next year.

When we met with our caterer, he gave us all the dates they were not available for tastings, (unless it was a situation like yours and being out of town)

I think she was being a little intense. I do have to say that calling three days in a row might not have been the best route, and maybe for any other vendors, I'd recommend gathering questions and then asking them all at once, as to not bombard the vendors.

You aren't being unreasonable for wanting to meet, but she might've just started with a bad taste in her mouth because you went so big at the beginning, and she's probably just stressed that when you say you want to meet, you mean you want to meet like, four times. I know that's not true, but that may be how she takes it. Just work with it and say something like, "I completely understand, and because of that, does this time work for you? It won't be too long, but just to get some details more concrete." Saying you want to finalize some stuff may spark her interest a bit more?

I'm sorry that she isn't being super cooperative!

Is there anything in your contract about a meeting schedule? my venue contract explicitly states when meetings should take place (1 month before, etc.) and what each meeting entails. Any additional meetings are scheduled at the discretion of the venue owners and/or our coordinator

As a business owner with sometimes needy clients myself, I think her frustration is that you are essentially asking her to turn down other income to meet you face to face exactly then, due to your very limited availability. What needs to be face to face? You will be able to gauge her preparedness, etc. from an email response. She probably WANTS to accommodate because it is important to you, and is not so diplomatically telling you the cost to her of your terms because it really is a burden on her business now that she is trying to follow through.

You're definitely not being unreasonable... I wish she'd shown this unprofessional side before you booked. I HATE doing business with people like that. You work in a customer service profession, you need to have customer service patience. The only thing I'd say is to make the appointment, whether she's acting like a B or not, and then when you go to meet with her, be super humble. You want her to be on your side and nice and everything. I know it'll feel crappy being nice to someone who is super unprofessional, but at this point you're in it for the wedding. Just try to make nice and get back on her good side so you can get what you need.

Are you able to meet with them on a weekday during your August visit? If you can only meet on a Saturday that would be tough since they probably have a wedding or event that day!

I definitely understand what you are going through. However, my vendors seems to be ok with me asking a million questions which I do! Haha. You are not being unreasonable at all and it would frustrate me if I was in your position. I would maybe try talking to her and let her know how you feel about it. It is unprofessional of her to treat you like that! I wish you the best of luck; I'm sure it can't be easy planning a wedding from across the country. By the way we are almost date twins!!!

That seems completely reasonable.

FYI I live in Charlotte, NC...if there's anything I can do to help you I'm happy to do so.

What exactly is it that you need to discuss with her face to face?

She sounds like a bitch.

Ew she is an a-hole. I would be taking my business elsewhere!

The mixed responses are really interesting. Thanks everyone for the input and the perspective. To the ladies who questioned why I need to meet in person - I guess I don't NEED to. There's just something to be said for meeting someone face-to-face. I am spending a lot of money (to me) with her businesses and I would like to meet with her (or even one of her employees - I offered that option, too). We had to book without meeting her because of distance, but now I would like to sit down and hammer out expectations - because there are many things not mentioned in the contract. I feel strongly about a real time conversation (not email) because there is a building/flow effect to a real convo that you can't get via email. I think I will stay firm in my request to meet - but be as flexible as I can about when. I would really like to use her services.

I'm also planning my wedding from across the country, and so far all of our vendors have been very understanding of the fact that our in-person visits can only happen within limited windows. I'm sorry your caterer is being rude. What are you trying to accomplish at this meeting? A tasting? Maybe be more clear about your goals, reiterate that your face to face visits are limited, and remind her that you are also a paying customer. WWLynnie also raises a good point. Most of our meetings with vendors are happening on weekdays so they don't have to worry about conflicts with other weddings.

That person is extremely rude! I don't think you're being annoying. You should be able to ask as many questions as you need.

My FH works out of town ever week from Monday through Friday. He can't, therefore, come to anything that I schedule during the week. Our caterer / event planner has gone out of their way to schedule all of our meetings / tastings on Saturday. I'm sure they have other events but our business is important as well.

I actually have about 6 days we could meet - a Monday-Saturday and I gave her those dates initially. When I didn't hear from her for a couple of weeks, I suggested the Thursday of that week and she wrote her response about she would need to move her higher paying clients to meet with me then. I'm not sure why she didn't just suggest one of the other days? I mentioned I knew it was her busy season so I wanted to give her a large window.

Ummmmmm you are paying her for her time sooooo she can just take multiple seats... I would check your contract and see if it says anything about communication or anything. Maybe she really is busy and that's okay but the way she communicates it was a little inappropriate.