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Devoted February 2013

I do not think I want a wedding anymore... I need advice...

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Rachel, on April 9, 2012 at 4:08 PM

Posted in Planning 27

So I booked a resort in Mexico for February of next year. I've spent lots of time looking at dresses and ideas online but have nto done any solid planning. In Fact I have been putting it off. i booked a photographer too. I even have the STD's, invitations, and other stationary but have not even sent the STD and my destination wedding is 10 months away. I know I want to marry my hubby without a doubt. But I feel like I am only having a wedding because it's "what people do." We have a very generous budget to work with, but i still do not feel like spending money on a wedding. I never understood why people spend so much on weddings, but when I was first engaged I was so excited and thought I wanted a wedding. But the more time that passes I was thinking of doing a simple ceremony at our cottage or in vegas then flying out to mexico for ten days. We also were planning a second honeymoon 6 months after our wedding date. I know this is a decision only I can make, but I’m worried will I regret not having a “real” wedding? Has anyone done this and regretted/not regretted it? Bless my hubby and family they are like whatever makes you happy, we’ll get it taken care of. But I’m just really struggling on deciding what to do.

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27 Comments

Devoted February 2013
Rachel · on April 10, 2012 at 10:33 AM
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Thanks again ladies for all of the helpful feedback, I truly appreciate it!
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on April 10, 2012 at 10:36 AM
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If you have a ceremony, and end up married when it is over, you are having a "real" wedding. So the only question is how big a wedding, and what type, you want. And I suspect that if you think of it that way, you'll figure out a compromise that will work for both of you. If you decide to have a ceremony with immediate family as guests, for example, that doesn't mean you have to have a traditional wedding dress, a wedding cake, a DJ, etc. Maybe you'll end up with an intimate ceremony for your immediate families and just a meal afterward--which would be only a little more expensive and involve only a little more planning than eloping. Think about what is worth the money to you and your FH, and don't worry about whether it is a "real wedding" in someone else's eyes or not.
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Savvy March 2021
Jasmine · on April 10, 2012 at 11:29 AM
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You are really lucky to have a family that is so supportive! You just have to do whatever will make you and the FH happy. You could always use all that money you save on the wedding for something like a down payment on a house, or a college fund for you future children, or another vacation. You should by no means have a wedding just to have one.
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Devoted February 2013
Rachel · on April 10, 2012 at 4:24 PM
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Jasmine - yes I am blessed with an amazing famly. that was my thought althought I bought a house about three years ago, I was thinking of using money to remodel my bathroom and kitchen. Some will go towards my sons college fund we already have that growing. (i can't believe he will be that old one day!) but yes we decided to proceed with the wedding, keep it as planned originally, but I will keep it simple simple simple. Close friends and family in an intimate ceremony on the beach. I am excited.
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Beginner September 2012
heather · on April 10, 2012 at 4:54 PM
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Rachel... Please look for your dress I know once I found my dress... (and everyone that came with me... said I looked beautiful), it all fell in to place... now all i do is wedding stuff... finding red bridesmaid dress was tough.. red candy for the candy station... fun... jewelry for the girls... fun :0)
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Expert April 2012
Sherri · on April 10, 2012 at 4:58 PM
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Me and my FH had this issue when we decided to tie the knot. I wanted to just do the JOP and then go on a mini honeymoon. And we were back and forth with it. Many people were telling me I'd regret it if I didnt have at least a small ceremony. And I knew Jesse wanted one. He wanted to see me walk down the isle and his family be there. He wanted to be able to share the moment with me AND everyone else. SO I decided we should do one. Best decision. I am really excited now.

But, the decision is up to you guys. If he wants a wedding, I would do it all out of love. It doesnt have to be big =]
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Super April 2012
Abby · on April 10, 2012 at 5:05 PM
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I'm so thrilled for my wedding but FW and I agree that we should have packed up the people closest to us and just ran off together and gotten married.
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