I am so over planning the wedding, Fiancee won't help at all, Lost all interest

Sometimes it helps to step back from planning for a few weeks. You do have some time to do this. Enjoy the holidays and maybe in the New Year start up again. It helped me. I took a break from all wedding planning, talking, etc.

I feel you! I'm not a person who enjoys planning either. Why not just elope? Saves any stress and makes it a lovely personal day for just you two to enjoy.

Ugh- that sucks, hugs.

I would say: if he wants a big wedding- stop doing all the work for him. The reason he's not doing anything is because you'd been doing it for him. so stop doing it.

Tell him you got a dress and you're willing to meet him on the date and time specified and he can handle everything else.

Take a break for a while definitely- but he should be picking up the slack- especially if he pushed for a bigger wedding- totally unfair for him to expect you to play out his dream wedding.

Hey guys, Thanks. I found myself cracking last night being like Omg what am I doing? I just kept yessing and trying to keep moving forward and never looked to see where it was all going and when he added more people to the list last night while I was putting together save the dates I just snapped. I couldn't handle it anymore. I feel guilty for not enjoying the process or getting excited and faking enjoyment. I just hit an oh man I need to reset as I am over crying about it. I think I shall take your advice KGroenwold and just spend the next few weeks til January doing nothing wedding related. Thats a good idea as I have been going at it hard every single day to get venue, dates, dress, save the dates, website, etc done. I think I just need to breathe.

Yes, take a well needed break. Don't feel guilty about not enjoying the process, we have all been there at one point. You have a lot going on to be stressed about wedding planning. This is suppose to be a happy time but its hard when you are doing all the work, then some. Don't forget this is your wedding too. You can't please everybody and that's not your job. This is your day, plan it your way.

I agree, take a little break and get some perspective. Also, make a point of standing up for yourself! Sure there will be some compromise but you should feel like this is a wedding you want to have! Also I have started giving my FH specific tasks because he felt like we have plenty of time. We both have a lot on our plate but it helps when I tell him: You said you wanted x and I agree with your idea. Could you arrange a meeting with a vendor you like by time y! And he does it. He's usually the planner in our relationship, but it seems like a wedding is just different.

If he wants the huge wedding, he doesn't get to "lose interest" and dump it all on you. I think it's time for a "come to Jesus" talk with him, in which you explain that he should be doing half the planning in any event, and if he wants a much bigger wedding than you do, he should be doing the majority of the planning. If he thinks he can just lose interest and dump things on you, what is going to happen when he loses interest in the housework or the tasks involved in raising the children; are you going to end up doing all the work on those things as well?

I agree. Take a break and then tell that FH it's time for him to step up to the plate. If he is the one who wanted a huge wedding then, by God he better help plan!! That's just me though.

You sound like me. I was absolutely done at 6 months out and I am SO GLAD the planning is over! Take breaks and step away whenever you need to. Tell your FH he needs to step up. Don't make it ambiguous, but actually hand him a task. "I'm doing this and this, so I really need you to help and do this"

I actually created a "To-Do" list for my finance. I typed it up and handed it to him. It has things like, rehearsal dinner (his parents are paying), mother/son song, tuxedos for him and groomsmen, etc. I sat down with him and went over all of plans, and told him that I would be happy to correspond with vendors and work on all the details, but that I needed some help from him.

He was totally understanding. Sarcastically laughed when I gave him the "To-Do," list, but he is working on those items and it has helped tremendously. I think that you need to sit down and just have an honest conversation with him.

Good luck and I hope that this turns into an enjoyable experience!

I actually created a "To-Do" list for my finance. I typed it up and handed it to him. It has things like, rehearsal dinner (his parents are paying), mother/son song, tuxedos for him and groomsmen, etc. I sat down with him and went over all of plans, and told him that I would be happy to correspond with vendors and work on all the details, but that I needed some help from him.

He was totally understanding. Sarcastically laughed when I gave him the "To-Do," list, but he is working on those items and it has helped tremendously. I think that you need to sit down and just have an honest conversation with him.

Good luck and I hope that this turns into an enjoyable experience!

My first wedding went from 50 people to 200 and I was expected to deal with everything and was being bullied by my MIL. I cancelled the whole shebang, got married in front of a judge, and divorced two years later. Exhusbands attitude during the whole process should have been a giant red flag. My wishes and desires were about 18th on his list of priorities. His mom was first.

I am NOT saying you should run because he's being a jerk about wedding planning, but I would have a VERY serious conversation with him about expected responsibilities after marriage, and how compromise will work when you are a family. Stress can bring out the worst in people, but sometimes it shows you what they have been hiding from you.

In comparison, I'm getting married again in May, and if there is something super important to him, that's his job to take care of it. I give him deadlines, he's a dawdler, but I leave it to him. If he doesn't do it in a timely fashion, I do it my way. For instance, Thursday is his deadline to lock in the officiant that he wants. He's had two weeks to deal with it, but we can't wait for months or there will be no one to marry us. If he's not any farther along, we agreed that I can book the lovely woman I found on here.

I totally know what you are going through! It's only natural that you are feeling a little checked out. If you can swing it hire a wedding planner. That's their job to make your dream a reality! No more stress for you! Just open a nice BIG bottle of Wine and let the planner do all the work!

Stay positive remember it's your dream wedding and you only get married once!

*HUGs*

I felt like this too. I took a whole month off of wedding planning and felt so much better