i am at my wits end trying to find a wedding dress

First of all, you are beautiful and you are going to look incredible on your day even in a paper bag because you will be glowing from within. That said, I found these two dresses on Azazie. Its a reputable sight, you can try on samples first to get the right size, and it looks like it comes in a plethora of sizes so you're sure to find the perfect one!

They're actually doing a buy 2 samples get 1 free sale so you can do that and try on your three favorite dresses in the comfort of your home!

https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-primrose-wedding-dress?color=diamond-white

https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-marlin-wedding-dress?color=diamond-white

You can also do a custom dress. I know lots of brides on here have had luck with that!

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I feel like this is the only answer but I have no idea where to begin!

I think that dress looks fabulous on you!! If you are still looking, I may suggest possibly looking for replicas of Meghan Markle's wedding dress! She had long sleeves and no lace whatsoever! That exact style may not be your cup of tea, but since so many people have been looking for copies of that dress, I would imagine variations of it can be found if you really try! The ones below may provide some inspo!

https://www.jjshouse.com/A-Line-Princess-Off-The-Shoulder-Watteau-Train-Satin-Wedding-Dress-002004779-g4779/?utm_term=4779&utm_size=06&ggsub=pl&ggntk=g&ggcid=272383048530&ggkey=&ggpos=1o2&ggdev=c&ggdevm=&ggplm=&ggtgt=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjszhBRDgARIsAH8KgvfMFTjbUSpOFsfk-8nOosxGkFiFJiysa3ePTlWZAb301ifdtEA88asaAkyJEALw_wcB

https://www.miagal.com/sweep-brush-train-a-line-princess-3-4-sleeves-scoop-satin-wedding-dresses-po16033po1293.html?catid=36&ref=googlepla&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjszhBRDgARIsAH8KgvcbbRCPS9C5dPOWq2BYsyrBIdapB-lUQq30WfXbsu_Dz6mb5y_7PTYaAtzLEALw_wcB

View Quoted Comment I believe some have had luck with cocomelody. If you search for some forums with that as the topic, I'm sure it can help. I also found some possibilities on etsy.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/633103936/long-sleeves-bridal-top-silk-top-wedding

https://www.etsy.com/listing/242826200/fully-lined-lace-wedding-dress-wedding

https://www.etsy.com/listing/602777817/makani-high-low-skirt-modest-wedding

I hope whatever route you end up going, you're happy, and I'm sure you're going to be beautiful!

You are beautiful, and the "this is the one" feeling isn't exactly right. However, it should feel like you.

You can look at custom orders. I even had success with a custom online order, but I know that's not for everyone. Azaizie at least lets you try before you buy. If you try online custom, you want someone who asks for way more measurements then you think is necessary. Cuz they are (mine fit to perfection).

As for your current dress - do you really "like" the foundation of this dress & feel like you could love it a bit more embellished. You could essentially turn this into a pallet for your custom dress as well. But onlu if the silhouette is right.

Https://pin.it/tj4h72ejpbpee6
This was pretty. It would probably need a back panel for more modesty.

Or have you thought about just using a bridal jacket?

I actually really like this dress on you. You can always put a petticoat under the skirt to make it full and jazz it up with a belt if you think it's too plain.

I found a few online that aren't tea length but I'm not sure if you are stuck on that feature.

Also, have you considered a jacket or bolero if you are uncomfortable with your arms? You could find the perfect sleeveless dress that way and be able to jazz it up more with a glamorous jacket!

Best of Luck!!

https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_as-is-plus-size-wedding-dress-with-3-4-sleeves-ai13030098?mr:trackingCode=9FF62FD8-D8EB-E711-8104-0050569419E4&mr:referralID=NA&mr:device=c&mr:adType=plaonline&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxPCx7dHc3wIV07jACh0DhQvGEAkYBCABEgKK0_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_as-is-plus-size-3-4-lace-sleeved-wedding-dress-ai14310143?mr:trackingCode=3558A97F-626D-E711-8102-0050569419E4&mr:referralID=NA&mr:device=c&mr:adType=plaonline&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxPCx7dHc3wIV07jACh0DhQvGEAkYAiABEgIjFfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

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THIS.

Don't be so hard on yourself!! You're beautiful and that dress looks great on you!

That said, what do you dislike about the dress? Perhaps a seamstress could fix it?

And yes, you can get a (white) dress anywhere you want! Your dress doesn't have to be a wedding gown! If you're thinking custom you can try online, or, see if there are any seamstresses in your area that would work with you. My seamstress does wedding gowns and pageant gowns, and even creates her own.

I think we are our own worst critics. To me, you look great! But I understand the struggle so that is why I decided for this marriage (2nd time around) I was getting my dress custom made. I found my dressmaker on Yelp and the process was easy and fun. Perhaps this is something you can look into?

Have you heard of CocoMelody? They have a store in Los Angeles, but everything can be ordered and customized online. The prices are very affordable compared to others. They have a great website & there is also a Facebook group called CocoMelody Dress Shopping Tips & Reviews.

I love that dress you have on!! You can do so much with that! I wanted a dress to cover my saggy arms and I agree it was tough I’m adding thick mid straps that cover my problem area.. you can add so much to that shorter dress to make it bridal and some shoes that you can see! You won’t be able to see my shoes you will be a beautiful bride

But if your not comfortable keep looking your dress is out there!!

I hear you on finding a dress with SLEEVES. Arg. Not many. But...can you find a strapless dress you want and then have sleeves made? A good seamstress can work wonders!!! I had a strapless long dress turned into a tea length with sleeves from the extra fabric (but a seamstress may be able to help you choose or get the material you want so it's not see-through lace).

before

after

Ooh! What about separates?! Get a wedding tulle skirt paired with a sweater or different kind of top for a unique look you love. What about this look?

Reading through the comments you got a lot of great feedback! First, you look stunning! Secondly, find the dress that completes your style the best.

The one advice I can truly give is find the dress or style you love. It is easier to add things to a dress. If you find a strapless dress that has everything you want (minus the sleeves) you can add sleeves. I’m pretty sure you can also add fabric under the lace or remove the lacy sleeves and replaced with fabric to the dress. Or add a jacket/shawl thing to your dress. Find what makes you feel comfortable and happy. Don’t settle for a dress because you “ran out” of options.
I wish you the best of luck on finding your perfect dress. You are a beautiful bride!

You look beautiful, but if you are still unsure maybe look into Anomalie. They do custom dresses based on virtual design consultations then they build you dress based on measurements you have done from a local tailor. I considered this route until I found a dress in a boutique I loved. You can find them on insta too if you walk to stalk past dresses they have made

I stuck with the dress, added a red petticoat, & the day was perfect!

With my new husband