I also have a question about serving alcohol...

Most venues will not allow outside f&b and particularly alcohol. there are very specific regulations about having licensed bartenders on hand - etc etc. so you need to check with your venue asap. outside of that, whether or not it is allowed - yes, i think it is in poor taste to suggest your guests bring their own alcohol....

Im not sure what the laws are here in Ga. But I dont even want to take the chance on being held liable if anything were to happen. Im also not sure if the venue will allow outside alcohol. But grandma is very much into the bible, and she does not think that as Christians we should drink. And I've only suggested the BYOB to a few of my closest friends... Who understand my situation. Eveyone else has been told that it is a "dry" reception.

I don't get the difference between you providing the alcohol or the guests providing their own alcohol. Either way, there's alcohol. But you say you've already told some guests........definitely check into the venue and the laws like the other girls have said.

@Bella-that's what I was thinking! I'd be very "jealous" if others had yummy red wine and I couldn't have any.

Ouch....when grammy sees the booze, she will get upset. booze is booze. And quite frankly, i think its tacky to be passin' the flask at a wedding when everyone else is sitting there wondering why they cant have a sip of the hootch.

I think you got yourself in a stink, Heather.

Either you provide booze for EVERYONE, or tell your closest friends, no drinky poo.

And for Grammy....if you want her there, then make the ENTIRE wedding dry.

That's pretty complicated. My understanding is that you could still be on the hook if a guest drinks via BYOB on the premises and then drives drunk. (Is switching from served to BYOB going to appease g'ma anyway?) What is your venue's policy on this? The venue may not be licensed to permit BYOB (does require a license to serve, just not sell) but only serve through a licensed caterer (whether in-house or outside caterer).

In any event, you should seriously consider getting wedding (event) insurance just in case. It's worth it for the peace of mind and, knock on wood, should you have to use it. Check out wedsafe.com, protectmywedding.com, maybe just do a web search.

My cousin had the same issue - his bride's family refused to attend if alcohol was served. They split the difference by having a cocktail hour before dinner, which the bride's family did not attend and after which alcohol was no longer available. It's not perfect but it may work.

*sigh*.... Well, luckily I only told a few people, and I have time to tell them to leave the booze at home.

I like that idea Jen! We may try that!!!

I agree with Jennifer. We are severing alcohol and for that reason we bought wedding insurance. It cost about 145. But in case anything happens, someone gets drunk and punches a hole in the wall (I wouldn't expect it, but you never know) we are covered

Asking people to BYOB makes it seem like a backyard BBQ and not a wedding so, I definitely wouldn't do that. Either keep it dry or not according to your preference, not your grandmother's. I understand wanting to be sensitive to her feelings but, that request seems a bit excessive to me. Unless she's paying, she doesn't get a vote. I'd tell her that I sure will miss seeing her at my party.

BYOB for a wedding is tacky. If you and your fh want to serve alcohol I would do it anyways and just explain to grandma you want it. would she truely not come to her grand daughters wedding because of something silly like this?

I am doing wine, beer and set ups. I have to look into it, but I think I have to get DRAM insurance to cover myself in case anyone overdoes it. However, I think that is only because I am providing it.

So mine is kinda BYOB, but since we are doing a pig roast, it kinda fits.

October Bride.... Yes, she is sticking to her guns. We have also had to pay for her plane fare. Which wasnt cheap. And since this is her first time flying alone we had to get someone to escort her around so she wouldnt get lost.

"But grandma is very much into the bible, and she does not think that as Christians we should drink."

Well, that's all well and good for her, but frankly I think it's absurd and very rude of her to impose that viewpoint onto others. Sorry, I just find moralizing "my way or the highway" attitudes offensive. And is every single guest a Christian with your Grandma's exact beliefs? And what do YOU believe?

If it were my wedding: I would serve alcohol, and let Grandma know that it will be served by licensed bartenders and they will regulate consumption. Letting a few people BYOB will smack of, "This is the cool crowd, and you're not a part of it" to those who aren't told to BYOB.

Shannon, I respect my grandmother. (While I may disagree with her opinions) I realize that her years here are limited, I do NOT want to look back on my pictures and not see her there. All because I chose to serve alcohol. If, it takes not serving it, then so be it.

Heather - I respect your point of view, but it just seems to me like your wedding is revolving around Grandma (no alcohol, pay her plane fare, have someone escort her). If you're giving so much to her, why can't she give something to you?

No, the wedding isnt revolving around grandma, but, she is the matriarch of my family. Why wouldnt I want her there? No matter what it takes.

The more we have planned this wedding the more I have realized that its about EVERYONE else but me! We must give gifts to all the attending guests. Make sure each guest eats and drinks. And we must do this to ensure that everyone attending is having a good time! There are days I wished I would have just eloped.... But then again I wanted "this"....

Heather, now you're getting it. The wedding is for YOU and your FH. The reception is for your guests. :-)

Thanks Bella. I thought so as well... Besides she will be involved in the photography after the ceremony.... So she will "miss" cocktail hour.

Would it be possible to not serve alcohol until after dinner when the dancing starts? that way people do enjoy their drink here and there, but granny might not even realize its being served if she doesnt see it with dinner?

I would definitely tell your friends not to brig the alcohol on their own-my venue was very clear that any alcohol served must come from a licensed bartender.