Huge family, huge guest list! >:-(

Don't invite them. I have 30 1st cousins on one side, and they have produced 15 children (and spouses). I'm only inviting my aunts and uncles. My Mom is not very happy about this, but that is way too many people, especially since I'm not close to them. FH also has a large family, though not as large as mine, and he is inviting all cousins. I don't mind because he's actually close with them. I'm also inviting my 2 cousins from my Dad's side. I was worried about hurt feelings, but this Martha Stewart etiquette blurb made me feel better:

http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/230649/sticky-situations-your-reception-and-guest-list/@center/272440/wedding-etiquette-adviser#123046

If you're paying, you decide the guest list.

Hi Sassy, welcome to WW! Please change your avatar so that we can recognize you more easily.

The guest list is under your and your FH's (future husband) control, and yours only. Particularly if you're paying for it, then you're deciding who to invite. So don't be angry, but rather sit down and decide who you want to celebrate with.

People use different rules to cut the list. Some cut it at first cousins. Some say if they haven't talked in 6 months, they don't get an invite. Choose a rule that makes sense to you and stick with it.

Also, get used to people having opinions about your wedding, because they always will :-)

Dont' invite them. This is YOUR wedding; it shouldn't be populated by people you haven't seen in years. Don't be pressured into a bigger wedding than you wanted to have and planned to pay for.

And cut the kids.

If you don't know them, or talk to them, cut them. Anyone you haven't talked to in the last 5 years, don't invite.

Dont invite them...My mom comes from a big family I invited all my aunts and uncles but cut half of my cousins out if they weren't over 21 they didn't get an invite and the only kids at the wedding were in the wedding..my parents helped us pay but only gave us $5000 ( not complaing) and we put the rest up so I wasn't inviting every tom dick and harry to our wedding if I haven't seen or talked to them in a year they didnt get invited

Don't invite people you aren't close too...who wants to get married in a room full of strangers?

Please remember to read the post on the main page for new users and change your avatar so we remember you!

I told FH the other day that I would eliminate all local children because the parents should be able to find a sitter. I'm also not doing +1's for unmarried people. So with that said, back to the old drawing poor! Lol!

Thanks for all of the advice ladies! :-)

I see a DW in your future or a week day wedding.

Our wedding is on a Friday evening but I've always wanted a DW because it's a 2-for-1 deal and everyone takes care of their own arrangements. FH wanted everyone to come because he's an only child and his grandparents are up in age. I love them immensely, so I caved in for that reason.

The best way I learned from WW to think about your guest list is:

- calculate approximately the cost per person. Don't forget any possible rentals, invitations, table decor, etc.

- ask yourself if you would pay $ XYZ to take that person out for dinner? You will have your answer pretty quickly. Of course we all end up with people that we wouldn't really answer yes for, but that should be a tiny minority.

We are going through the same thing! I am just about ready to say forget the wedding and go the courthouse! lol

We are going through the same thing! I am just about ready to say forget the wedding and go the courthouse! lol

Im going threw this now and i just keep telling myself 100 a plate but good luck and wedding wire is the best for women like us

Cut out the kids and family u dont even talk to. i have a huge family and i only invited my close family not family that i dont even talk to.

Yea, if you aren't close, come up with whatever rule you are comfortable with and stick with it. No children, no one but aunts and uncles, or just family you speak to regularly. If you wouldn't ever think of taking them out to dinner, why do that here. If you family gives you a hard time over it, you need to just make it clear that as long as you and your FH are paying, the guest list is who you can't imagine not being there to celebrate with you. Trust me, those cousins you never speak too will be grateful.

I completely understand where you are coming from...I sent out invitations and my FMIL was still trying to add people and I had to tell her no because we could not take anyone else if they can't respect your decision and decide to show up anyway then your seated and RSVP guest gets a plate and if they didn't get an invite and show up than you can't promise them a plate nor seat.

I figure If I dont see them for christmas, is it worth inviting to the wedding. We too have big families, most of my family I don't speak to, the ones out of town will get an invite but if they want a family reunion perhaps they should plan one on another day than your wedding day at your expense.

That and you have to entertain all these people and thats no fun when its a bunch of people you havent seen in years cause they will either ignore you or want to catch up, and if they want to keep talking all the other guests will get ignored and be offended.

I had the same issue I have a huge family also and people in my family dont know how to have just 1 or 2 children they all have like 5 so I cut out all children under 13 which is like 80 children, I also cut out family members that I havent spoken with or seen in the last year and a facebook comment doesnt count.