How to word a no children invite?

View Quoted Comment I understand why people hear about people ignoring who invitations are addressed to, and who want a more direct "adults only" on invitations, but what you are saying is much nicer. Not on the invitation, and only correct # on the RSVP card, but on a details note sheet, website, and in casual conversation, it really is necessary to say something polite but very clear. Over and over. Nicer to call the few guests with kids whom you believe ( or have been told) likely will bring kids anyway, and explain, that to put who is excluded on the invitation for all to see. And you do not need a detailed reason, don't let people ask you to justify it as though you are doing something wrong. The hosts decide who is invited. It is rude for guests to challenge it.

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What?!?!!? Ugh, some people!

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WOW! That is so rude for people to do that. If the age thing was confusing for them, they should have gotten in touch with the bride and groom for more information. I would have been upset.

We aren't having kids either... due to budget, and also we only have 2 groups of people with children (both are my cousins) and their kids are literally WILD (3 of them are boys ages 5-8 so you can imagine lol).

(1) The kids would not enjoy being there (2) I seriously doubt that my aunts want to deal with their children in this setting (3) They would definitely not behave well, and it would be so stressful for me.

We're making sure to address the invites specifically to the people who are invited. (i.e. "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe" NOT saying "the Doe Family). We're also doing online RSVPs so they can't respond for people who are not invited. We also put in the FAQ section of our website "Are children invited?" with the response "Our wedding will be for adults only." I don't like the idea of calling it a "parent's night out" and acting like not inviting the kids is for the benefit of the parents, because that's obviously not the reason that people don't invite kids to weddings. It is FINE not to invite kids, but in my opinion you should just admit that it's for your own reasons, not try to act like you're doing it for the parents!

We felt it would be weird to say "adults only" on the invite, especially if you specify the names of the people you are inviting, it seems implicit. But we did put it on the website specifically.

I did a quick google and found a couple ideas for wording:
"although we love your children we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to restricted numbers. We hope you will see this as an opportunity to let your hair down and enjoy the party with us"
"We have reserved ___ seats in honor for our adult reception"
"Although we would love to celebrate with your entire family, we find that we must limit attendance to adults only. We appreciate your understanding and thank you."
"While we love the little ones this is an adult only affair"

Pick wording that fits you as a couple and go with it. You are going to offend someone, no matter what you do. Ignore that, do what you need to do and just do your best.

View Quoted Comment Not gonna lie. Part of the reason we’re limiting it is for similar reasons. I feel guilty saying it. But one of my aunts and one of FHs aunts has children that DESTROY everything.

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Hahah, I know, I kinda feel bad, but also it's the truth. But honestly there is no way those kids would enjoy sitting in a ballroom with 125 adults either!

View Quoted Comment She’s not telling them how to spend their time. This isn’t rude. An invitation is just that. It’s not an obligation. If they choose not to come because it’s a kid free event that’s a choice. By wanting to save seats for adults in limited space when you’re spending a lot of money on your perfect day, that’s not rude. What’s rude is when people make the bride feel bad about her day because of their wants. At the end of it all, it’s their wedding, their decisions.

View Quoted Comment Which is why there is a decline on the rsvp no one is forced to go.

View Quoted Comment You didnt really give any advice, just said how rude people do it. So how about some advice to the lady. "Adult only" , "sweet dreams to people under 16" there are a lot of posts as we are doing no children also!

As you can see....this CAN be very sensitive for some of us and should be handled carefully...I spoke with my friends with kids personally and indicated on the RSVPs two seats

I prefer to give the gift of money

View Quoted Comment I think those are all great options. There’s always a limit on space/chairs and budget.

When I was a child, from time to time my parents went somewhere and let us know “children weren’t invited” to this particular event. And that’s life. And we got over it by the time the babysitter ordered pizza. its not rude and it’s not that big of a deal.

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Exactly! If I was a kid, I would be thankful to not have to go. LOL

View Quoted Comment It is also very rude for guest to think that they, not the host, decide who is welcome at an event. Kids who are not invited are not to come. Adults not invited should not come. If as a guest, you do not like the fact that a host of any party or event is not inviting someone else, adult or child, stay home. Deciding to bring children not invited is as bad as bringing any other people not invited. I would be surprised to hear that it was okay with you if a bunch of your guests each invited 1-5 other friends and relatives to your wedding. You would have invited them if you wanted them . Adding on children is no different. Hosts issue invitations to people they want to attend. No guest should assume they can bring anyone else, adult or child.

View Quoted Comment I'm laughing because not once did I say invite kids. I said don't imply that adults should have a kid free evening at your wedding.

I put on my RSVP adults only. I do not care if it is seen as rude. It is my FH and my wedding no one else. We are paying over $150/person so I will do whatever I want. Sorry not sorry.

View Quoted Comment I want to say no kids but I have three of my own, who while well behaved, one of my bridesmaids also have three who AREN'T well behaved. They don't listen to anyone but their dad and me because they know I mean business and everything else is just nice about it. I can't say no kids either because almost everyone is coming from out of town so they'll have to bring them, and even if I hired a sitter, the mother of the bad kids would coddle then and not let them be watched 🙄 I hate I have to suck it up just to have some of the people I want there

View Quoted Comment I am sorta in the same boat (in the sense that I am not getting my adults only wedding and some kids are terrors). I have no kids, but one of bridesmaid has a child. Since they are coming from out of town I can't say no to her kid being there, but that means I can't say no to my nieces or nephews (or FH) which puts us at about 15 kids... and at that point it will just seem really unfair to not have kids. I really wanted an adult only wedding, but it will not work out.

View Quoted Comment Ugh I wish it was 15, I'm looking at almost half my guest list because everyone has young kids. Most of fh's family has older kids, and mines has younger. But his mother has already let me know that if I don't do kids, majority of his side will not show up. Nothing against us, it's just not possible for them.