How to un-invite someone?

Unless you’re 100% ok with completing cutting any relationship you have with all of them, there’s really no way to do this. How does your parent who is on that side of the family react to these family members behaving this way toward your FH?

Hey girl, I’m sorry you’re experiencing this! Whatever happened to family sticking together? Ugh I get it though.
Since my fiancé and I had to reschedule our wedding to October, we are guessing with all this virus stuff we might have to decrease the guest list anyway. If it comes down to it, you could just not send a new invite. That’s what we are doing, especially for family we haven’t spoken to or people who didn’t bother to return the original rsvp. It sounds harsh, but it’s your wedding, and it’s about you and your FH. If my family had an issue with my FH they’d be booted off the guest list without question!

You can do it. Just be prepared for hurt feelings and possible backlash. If you are ok with permanently burning any remnants of that bridge, that's fine. If you want to try and salvage the relationships with this family, I wouldn't uninvite them.

We actually have a very similar experience. One of his aunts is horrible to him on social media. We’re both law students and really interested in politics. She consistently berates us, mostly him, for being too young or too stupid or too naive. We always wanna tell her we have a college degree in politics and our opinions are here to stay but she doesn’t care. I’m always calm in my approaches and he’s always factual in his, we aren’t sitting here cursing and talking crap for the sake of hating on people but she is!


Unfortunately, we unfriended her on all platforms and contacted her to let her know she is uninvited because we’ve decided to reduce our wedding size. Her son is still a groomsmen though which is ironic humor. There’s no way to do this other than biting the bullet. Don’t invite family because you feel obligated.

View Quoted Comment This is basically what happened to us! He has a degree in political science, so he always uses facts and evidence, not opinions! He commented on something of hers, and my cousin told him to stop harassing her and that she’s going to report him (this is the first time he’s ever commented on her stuff!)


And then it got awful. That whole side started going in on him!
I talked to my sister because right after her wedding, they told her on Facebook, nonetheless, that they didn’t like him. Well...you sure did like him when you came to the wedding and drank the beer and ate the food he paid for..
Just crazy the type of things people will hate for. We don’t need that type of negativity!

View Quoted Comment I have a huge extended family. So it’s my great grandma’s daughter or my mom’s aunt.


I’m really close with my great grandma, and she agrees that that part of the family shouldn’t be invited. So that wouldn’t be an issue

View Quoted Comment I was thinking about just not sending an invite. I know that they won’t talk to us but I don’t want them to if they’re going to be mean!


I’m a big “family is important” person, but FH is going to be their family, too, sooo if you can’t be nice, I’m sorry but I’m not putting up with it. Haha

I have not sent invites to some people who got a save the date for different reasons. It’s not palatable but it’s MY wedding and there are many things which happen /change in a year plus of wedding planning.
It’s OK to make changes according to whatever stage in life you are and what suits you. It’s YOUR day and you have every right to do what’s best and makes YOU happy

If you end up changing your date, I think it's fine to say you are canceling the wedding you planned due to safety/health concerns. You do not need to tell all of your guests when your new event is scheduled - normally STDs would go out 6 months ahead of time and this is still more than a year away at this point, so no one other than your VIPs (parents, wedding party members) need to know. Then, when you announce your new date, you can change up a few things and invite different guests. If you are considering un-inviting as many as 40 people I imagine that would make a significant enough dent on your overall guest list that you can say the new event was designed to be smaller, so that it could be more flexible to accommodate regulation changes due to Covid-19. If going this route I would definitely use the opportunity to reevaluate your entire wedding and guest list - if you just cut out a specific group of 40 people they will figure out that you just un-invited them, no matter how you frame it. Use this as an opportunity to figure out who is MOST important for you to have there and how you can plan an event that will celebrate your love with those closest to you while keeping everyone, including your older guests, safe. It's possible that social distancing measures and other precautions will still be in effect, and you will need to cut your guest list to meet guidelines or have ample room to space everyone out within your venue.

We've had to uninvite and kick out a bridesmaid due to her being disrespectful to my FH and myself. Expect backlash and hurtful things said because her husband was my FH best man and he wont even be at our wedding and their friendship is suffering because of it

View Quoted Comment Exactly my beliefs. I’m not spending money to let you drink and eat at my home for my wedding so you can turn around and call us stupid. We both have degrees in political science and our both in law school. Plus, we don’t make inflammatory statements like they do. Our parents aren’t happy with our decision but it was necessary.

I’m a little confused, have you already sent out invitations for your September wedding?

While I agree with the others that it would permanently sever that relationship, I have to admit that I did something similar:

My cousin's husband has always been awful to my family and I decided (with additional support from the great brides and grooms in the forums!) to not invite him. As expected, that cousin and her parents declined their invitations. When we decided to postpone our 4/18 wedding, we simply did not send them a new invitation, as they already made it clear they would attend if the cousin's husband was not invited.

If you truly feel that inviting these people would make your day something you don't want it to be, simply don't send them a new invitation. I would keep the new date off of social media as well if you are friends with them on there.

However, be prepared for a lot of awkward phone calls, and a lot of angry reactions to this. This a quite a large group you are uninviting, and it most likely will cause a lot of backlash. I would also think about the parent that these people are related to: how would it affect their relationship with them?

Ultimately, it is up to you and FH, and it is your day!

I'm not sure I agree with everyone else. You two are about to married, and these people have only seen FH in person 3 times? You're obviously not all that close with them, so maintaining your relationship going forward doesn't seem like all that big of an issue. And, they seem to have no qualms at all with hurting your feelings, so I would certainly not have a problem hurting theirs, if uninviting them even would hurt their feelings. If you have your great-grandma's support in uninviting them, then they have made a bad a impression on more than just you and FH. I say go ahead and do it,

There are many brides on here who, because of Covid-19, are changing dates and/or downsizing their guest list. If you think that at some point in the future you might want to socialize with these people again, then uninvite them and use that as an excuse. Sorry, but we're cutting the guest list in this time of social distancing!

Congrats to you both on your upcoming wedding!