How to tell someone they can't come

"Thanks so much for reaching out! Unfortunately we have already submitted our final numbers and can't accommodate any additional guests. Let's set up a time to celebrate together afterward!"

Just tell them you're sorry but you've already finalized plans with the venue and caterer.

Honestly, if they were invited in the first place I would just do it. Your caterer usually plans for extras. As for the seating chart, stick them wherever. But if you honestly don't want to add them, the previous suggestions are fine.

I'm the same way at times, I hate saying no to some things. But that is your day and it's about you, you can't stress yourself trying to make room and get food for them. I would just call or text them letting them know politely that it's too last minute for you to try and fit them in, tell them the seating arrangements are finalized and there is not enough time to redo it and contact the caterer. If you can invite them to something else after the wedding to celebrate.

No, be harsh. Fuck that. Their plans fell through? Well so did their seat at your wedding.

"No."

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I told her politely that I already finalized my guest list for catering and was unable to add anyone else. Pretty sure it pissed her off because all I got for a response was "K". Oh well. You can't please them all I guess.

OH WELL! Too bad so sad. See, you were nice in your response and that's what you got. That's why I say, nope be harsh. Come back and let us know if she says anything else LOL.

Personally, I would not tell them no. You have time still to rework the seating chart if you absolutely need to. And your caterer should be able to accommodate one person this far in advance.

You don't really have to scramble to add two people, and contacting the caterer is a phone call (the caterer will do the work on this one) . I think you should absolutely make room for them since they were invited. I might tell them that the seating chart is done and you'll do your best to place them at a table where they know other people. If you can great -- if not, and they end up sitting with people they don't know, I'm sure they'll understand (I would).

I stood next to a MOB last Friday evening as she was getting last minute calls (two of them) from guests who were bringing plus ones at the last minute. She handled it graciously and without a hint of irritation in her voice, and these phone calls came in about an hour before the wedding started. She even altered the escort cards to reflect the addition of the plus ones.

It can be done, especially with 10 days to go.

ETA: Never mind. I just read your next post.

That doesn't really sound like someone I'd bend over backwards to include. They basically told you they wanted to do something else more, but decided they might as well go since the original plans were cancelled. You have no obligation to include them at all at this point, and they don't sound like great friends to begin with, especially considering her reaction to you.

Maybe it's me but I don't see getting worked up about someone who's plans fall through. We had several friends who had other weddings or a Christening or weekend plans they had paid for in advance that couldn't make it. If ANY ONE of those people had called to say they could make it to our wedding after all we would have been totally thrilled. We invited people because we love them and want them with us. We were sad to find out that they couldn't be. And we wouldn't have felt "second rate" if any of them had been able to make it.

eta: but I guess on the other side of things, if I were a guest and found I could attend a wedding that close to the date I would probably not say a thing and let it be.

If it was a family member I defiantly would take the time to make sure their was a spot for them but it's an old co worker who honestly didn't even come to my bridal shower when I invited her. I'm not too worried about it. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I have to worry about so much right now I don't have time to stop everything I'm doing to make sure there is a spot for them.

Knowing myself I probably would have worked with it with a phone call and quick change, but thats me. I'm only invited people I truly care about being there so there is that too. Maybe it's just me but there are several different kinds of "plans' that could fall through that would be understandably more important than your wedding, especially anything to do with the persons immediate family.

The "K" response. I hate that shit.

Sorry OP. I am also dealing with this now. Two people asked me TODAY if they can bring someone now...after they RSVP without plus one I gave them in first place...WTF!! Arrrgg

GymRat, I literally just laughed out loud. Agreed!

Her plans fell through?

If your wedding wasn't important to be plan A, then it won't be her plan B.

I probably would have been a complete savage about this. If your plans fell thru then you need to just find something else to do...That something else being something other than my wedding. You don't ask someone 10 days before to make accommodations after already saying "no."

You did the right thing! Good riddance. So rude of her to assume!

I would just tell them you already turned in your final numbers. If your ceremony is in a different spot maybe invite them to just that.