How to tell people about age limit.....

Even though its considered "rude" to list it on an invite or RSVP , I reallllly wish I had put something on our save the date. We addressed our invited only to those invited and made it directly clear on our website that it was 18 and over only and it caused a shit storm in my dads family. Let anyone who will be affected by it know directly asap is my advice to save u a lot of trouble!

I put it on my reception card

I'm interested in knowing also, as I have a few maybe a handful to about ten cousins that aren't invited because of age reason(not inviting children) I'd like to know how to tell them...

We put "Ceremony and Reception are age 21 and over" on our Save The Dates above our website address and then reiterated it there. We have gotten zero complaints/backlash yet. We also have a list of personally trusted and vetted caregivers in the area. We are not paying for them, but have already connected a few with some of our guests. I have not sent out our invitations, so we will see when the RSVPs come in! :-)

Jet- what would you suggest for ppl who've already sent out the Save The Dates....

We had a few key people help spread the word (mainly "the mommas") ahead of time.

If I had to do it over again, I would have included: "We would be happy to provide referrals for childcare for children under 10 for the evening of the wedding." in the save the dates.

We received some initial backlash for not including children (anyone under 15) from a handful of people. One of DH's cousins did not attend mainly because they could not bring their kids to the ceremony/reception. But, in general, most invitees with small children were all for "date nite" without the kids.

Word of mouth and wedding website...our website is on the back of our invitations (people can either e-rsvp or send the card back).

also, the way you address the invitation. I didn't do inside envelopes, we did belly bands, and put the names of the adults invited on that.

I put it on my reception card & wedding website and the moms are give friendly reminders. I do not think its rude to include with your invite if you want your guest to respect your wishes you should inform them. I don’t think word of mouth is sufficient enough to relay information to all your guests.

You invite the people you invite. By the kids not being on the invitation, they aren't invited. Maybe mention it on the website. But that's all.

Why it's rude to include it with the invite...

The invite lists the names of the people being invited. As the child isn't invited, he wouldn't need to know he's not allowed at the wedding. By saying "no children" you are assuming some people are going to bring uninvited guests. While this is true, saying to someone in an invite that "we know you are going to ignore the list and be rude" is being rude.

Invite specific people with no place for guests to add people.

I've seen some say "Adult Reception" on the Invitation. In smaller print on the bottom right corner.

I agree with Pezzy…we have a lot of friends with small children and we just addressed the invite to Mr. & Mrs. didn't have one problem with people rsvp'ing or adding guests/children. You have to know your crew though…it wasn't something I really worried about but obviously you see some horror stories here.

I addressed my invitations to the parents and no one is bringing their kids except for the ring bearer and his brother, and the flower girl. (I was a little disappointed because I made coloring books but maybe it's for the best). No one really asked, there were no problems, I think most of my guests assumed it's best not to bring their kids so they all arranged babysitters.

If the children are not invited by name on the envelope or anything, then they are not invited. You should not put anything about "Adult Reception", "Ages 21 and over", etc. because it would be rude to point out who is not invited to your wedding.

The invitations need to be addressed specifically to who is invited. On the inner envelope you would list both parents names and children's names if they are invited. If you are worried about people just assuming their children are invited make sure to send RSVPs and on the RSVPs make sure there is a spot for # attending for the guest to fill in instead of just checking yes or no. Then if they fill in a number higher than is actually invited you'll just have to give them a call and explain that due to budget or atmosphere or theme of wedding or whatever your reasoning behind no children is that they are not invited and explain you'd love their company but understand if they cannot make it due to childcare issues. And if people don't send back RSVPs you should feel no shame calling or messaging them about a month before and asking if they are coming. Its rude not to send in an RSVP so they'll get the hint when you call and tell them you haven't received their RSVP and are wondering if they are coming.

On the envelope it is directed at the people who are invited, however we did note at the bottom of our invite "Adult venue only" Mostly bc it has wine and beer bottles everywhere and we are not willing to risk kids running around and things breaking and 2) it is a tight venue and I do not want to have my dress stepped on by said children.We have been spreading the word by mouth bc I have not sent invites out yet and to the people who have kids they are quite excited to have a date night out with their significant other. Dont get me wrong I work with kiddos all week, so I love em I just want all the adults to have a carefree time.