How to tell guests we are postponing wedding?

Leesha, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, all of WW is proud of you for making the right decision. It'll take time to work things out and heal and re-spark things with your FH. Don't focus on the other people around you who are making you feel poorly. There is lots and lots of love and support for you, and just take a moment to sit with that thought and block out the rest of the negative people until you're ready to deal with them. I can't even really see why your FIL's are being awful to you even now that he's getting therapy.

Stitching, I don't think I would use facebook. It would just cause a lot of drama and gossip (unless you mean to private message people). I think calling people would be the best, and maybe get mom and dad etc to give you support and help.

How about a trip to my province to Banff or Jasper? Go to the spa, go on a hike

So glad to see you back on here and that your FH is getting treatment! Losing all that money sucks, but it seems like it's the best decision. Here's a hug, and I hope you do take that trip. You deserve it. <3

I'm glad to see that he is in treatment and you guys have decided to make it work, but take care of yourselves first! Maybe a friend can hang on to some of that wedding stuff for you so you don't have a daily reminder? As far as letting people know...you could send out a group FB message? Email? For the ones that aren't on FB or email....send a card? You can also just do word-of-mouth for groups. For example "Mom, could you please let your brothers and sisters know that the wedding is postponed, as it is very difficult for me to discuss".

I'm so happy to hear that you are okay and your FH is getting the help he needs. Please take care of yourself!

Sorry for your situation all around it must be hard to be going through but i am truly happy fh is seeking treatment. on your original post I remember you saying your aunt had just contacted you her travel arrangements being booked. I hope your guests can get thier money back and more than anything I hope they are understanding of this difficult time for you

I think I would personally go with what @ninja said

If you're going to do FB, I would do 1 big private message and turn off notifications for it. Include this is a very hard time for me, I appreciate the support and understanding that I'm just not emotionally able to talk to every individually right now. Then you won't have to worry about people texting you constantly. Also word of mouth. I wouldn't do mail because things get lost

You're handling all of this with such grace, Leesha. I'm so glad to hear that your FH is getting help and that things have calmed down. It sucks that you're losing money, but going through with a wedding that you didn't feel right about deep down would have been even more of a waste! This all sounds like it's for the best. And HECK YES, go on a tropical vacation! Get your groove back! ...or something? lol

I wouldn't have thought of it myself, but after seeing others suggest it, I would definitely agree that calling everyone individually would be best. I think it would really be appreciated by the guests -- it's just a nice gesture, to actually put effort into this rather than sending an impersonal note. Not that you need to go into detail, but it'll make it clear to your guests that you care about them, and appreciate their being understanding. Since it sounds like your FILs wouldn't be the best people for job, do you have anyone who could help with this?

^ What about your future Father in law? He seemed more supportive of you.

Big hugs! I am glad you are going with your gut feelings and taking the time you two need to rekindle and not going into your marriage with resentment or hurt feelings.

Hope you find an amazing place to vacay and get your mind out of the mess.

@JenniferandRick: You got it lol - though today it's 28C

@Leesha, if you want to take a trip to Los Angeles, let me know! I will take you out to dinner or something. Anything I can do to help!

@Lady Monk, my FFIL was there for me... until yesterday... and then it was an even more terrible day, I am so resentful towards my FIL's right now it is crazy..

I am trying so hard to be strong, what it comes down to now is just letting everyone know... which I am finding SO hard to do.... but I am enjoying looking at vacations hehehehe

Thank you all again, so so much

Leesha, I've been thinking about you and sending hugs your way. I'm glad he is in treatment and I hope things continue to look up.

Oh no =( I'm so sorry his family is being terrible. I was hoping your FFIL would still be supportive. Just make sure you surround yourself with people who ARE supportive and be kind to yourself. I think taking a vacation is a great idea!

I'm so glad that he's in treatment and you've been able to talk and make the decision that's right for you as a couple. I think that even though it's hard now, down the road you will appreciate that you postponed. You're right, you don't want to be going into a marriage with these feelings. It will be better for both of you when you can start your marriage without mixed feelings.

Because your wedding is so close and you were having a DW, I would make phone calls. There will definitely be questions though, so I'd see if you can get a friend or family member to do it. Other alternatives would be email (if your guests check it frequently) and putting up a message on your wedding website.

Hey you can always come visit Hawaii during that time, I'll let you know of some great places to go!!

I'm sorry your FILs are being so terrible, I really hope they come around but it probably won't happen too quickly and your FH will probably have to be the one that helps bring them around. I'm really glad he's getting help though!

I'm sorry for the financial loss, that really hurts. As far as your guests go, please don't let that bother you too much. My cousin called off her wedding 10 days before and we all had plane tickets, my parents were able to cancel without charge and my FH and I were planning to stay with his family anyway so we still made the trip. Some people might still take the vacation anyway, others will probably get some money back on their flights. In the end for my cousin we just wanted to be there to support her so it didn't matter to us what we lost out on. If your family and friends love you, they should hopefully understand.

I am so glad to read he is getting treatment. I truly wish you guys the best. As far as informing your guests....I am not sure. I would probably do a formal letter. Since it is such a personal situation, a personal announcement would be nice. Thats just me.

I don't really have any advice not he subject but I just wanted to let you know that I'm really glad he's getting the help he needs. Good luck with everything and I hope you stick around WW.

Leesha, Im so happy for you guys that he took "the first step" again, and went back to treatment. Not an easy thing, I know. If it were me, I would quickly order some written announcements that just say something basic like "we have decided to postpone our wedding until further notice." Otherwise worded like your wedding invitation. And leave it at that. I would hate to have to call and explain to each person. As far as your inlaws..I find it hard to imagine that they are not being supportive of the woman who is standing by their son through this crises. They should be just the opposite. But, you know what? In the end it will be just you and fh, stronger than ever and more in love with eachother because you stood by your man! Chemical dependency is hard....relapse can happen...you can only hope that if it happens to you someday, your man stands by his woman. Your tenacity is extremely admirable! Good luck honey, and please come back and keep us updated with your progress!