How to tell guests we are postponing wedding?

I know it's not technically a break-up, but I have to tell you that going on vacation by yourself after something like this really is the best medicine. I did it! About 5 years ago, before we lived together FH and I had a 6 week "break." Basically, he bailed with no explanation, no contact. All is well now and it's over and we're fine. BUT, at the time I was devastated. It was just a year after another long term break up with someone else. I was into FH more and it was all just too much for me. So, I took a 10 day vacation, packed my dog in my car and we went to NH and Maine. We went hiking, ate lobster, met new friends and had a lot of car time to think about things. It was the best me time I've ever had and really lets you think and put things in perspective. Hoping again that everything works out as it should, but definitely take yourself on vacation. You deserve it!!

Hi Leesha. I have been quietly following your story and I am thrilled to hear that you guys are taking that first step. There are some of the same issues in my family back in Georgia.

I also know that a trip is definitely what you need right now. When my brother died, my sister, my mom and I took a short trip to just get away from everyone. It was so cleansing.

That said, I live and work in the beautiful US Virgin Islands (No passport needed!), and I have the hook-up at some of the best hotels. I would be happy to extend my family/friends discount to you. If you're interested, you're welcome to email me: ******@*************.***.

I'm so happy to hear that he is is treatment and that you are going to work things out. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts. Chin up Leesha, things will get better.

I think your in-laws must be extremely shitty people. None of this was your fault, you have done nothing wrong, and yet they at treating you horribly.

Truthfully, I don't know why you want to work this out at all. Why stay in this relationship or in this family given what they have ALL put you through these last few weeks? I would not marry this guy, I'm sorry. I know you think you love him and want to work it out but treatment is no guarantee. You could get married in a year and he could easily relapse again. And what if you have kids? No, sorry. I think you can do much better than him and this horrible family. Sorry to be blunt. Go on vacation and really think about this - are these the people you want to spend the rest of your life with? I think you just need to get out.

Im so glad to see an update on this! Good for him for going to treatment and trying to get back on track. And I'm so happy to hear y'all are working things out. I can't imagine how hard it must be to put away all your wedding stuff, but you guys will be so much stronger and even more excited to tie the knot after you work on things together.

Hi Leesha - I am glad to hear that you are doing ok. I can't believe that your FILs are treating you poorly. All you have done is try to take care of their son and make sure he is ok. Some people.

Leesha I'm so happy to hear things have begun to make a turn for the better. Definitely don't feel bad about focusing on your fh's recovery right now. I would ask your mom, moh or a bridesmaid to make the calls for you. Someone who you know could get it done and keep it vague. Please make sure you're getting the rest you need, which is seems like you are considering you're using the time in August to take a relaxing trip. My suggestion for that trip is turn your phone off. Sometimes that can make the quality of a trip so much better. Still praying for you and your FH!

Eta: Emily shut up, with an addiction issue, self harm issue or a mental health issue you are in recovery for the rest of your life. Leesha knows that considering her last post said they went through recovery together at one points. Recovery is a personal battle and if she wants to stay with her FH that's her choice. This is a learning experience for both of them because now he knows a trigger to avoid. Just because someone may be in recovery (whether a minute or 10 years) doesn't mean they deserve to be alone and aren't a good person.

All of these people saying they are "so happy" she's working things out with this guy must be delusional. Working things out with an addict who put her through hell and led her to cancel a wedding that she has spent thousands on (and has now lost thousands on) and countless hours of time; and a family who has treated her horribly and as though this was all her fault. Sounds awesome. Great situation to work out.

Tinybutfiesty - don't tell me to shut up, get over yourself....you are not the only one allowed to have an opinion. I have send friends' lives destroyed when they chose to marry addicts. And she is not just marrying him. She is marrying into a family. A family who has chosen to blame her for their son's actions. This is not a healthy situation to be in.

I'm with Emily on this one. Some things are unforgivable whether you're an addict or not. His prior behavior was extremely abusive and his behavior as well as his family's put OPs recovery in jeopardy. I would go on vacation and never come back.