How to tell guest not to come if they plan on being late

Most of our guest are farmers we live in a rural community I know there are a lot of people who will celebrate with us on our day that will come after chores and milking it's just not s huge deal to us we are happy to have everyone with us in anyway they are able

View Quoted Comment That's great that you and your guests are so casual. But it doesn't change my situation.

There’s no polite way to do this.

View Quoted Comment Okay, what is the least rude way to do it? 😆

View Quoted Comment There isn’t a not rude way of essentially telling someone the way they want to celebrate with you isn’t good enough for you. There’s also no way to guarantee that all your other guests will make it on time, including those who are supposedly leaving the conference early.

I dont mean to offend and I was only trying to share a different perspective with you ...if this person is important to you then forgive them and appreciate that they still want to share in your day...if they aren't that close and you dont mind burning that bridge tell them you are the most important thing that day and if they cant be there on time you dont want them at all.

No, there’s no polite way to say that. Unfortunately, everyone’s life doesn’t revolve around your wedding.

View Quoted Comment I actually think it is equally rude of them to put a non-mandatory conference higher up on their priorities than my wedding. They can easily leave the conference early. I don't like the way they are choosing to celebrate with us, because it seems like our wedding is their plan B for the evening, obviously not very important to them. I will find the nicest way to say this, and maybe just explain how it makes me feel unimportant to them.

Can I ask your relationship to this person?

View Quoted Comment No, lol, I wasn't implying that it did. I wouldn't be offended if they just RSVPd "no". Not a big deal. If the conference is more important than they should just go to the conference. I think your comment was a little rude. You don't know me or my relationship with this person.

View Quoted Comment It’s clearly not a very good relationship if you’d prefer for them to not attend your wedding at all than to come to the reception only.

View Quoted Comment They are a friend/ former coworker. When I got engaged a year and a half ago I was still in contact with this person. Since then it has steadily decreased. I think the feeling is mutual that our friendship is not very strong. No big deal, this happens in life. I would not be upset if they had just RSVPd no. It just feels like our wedding is an afterthought to their day.

View Quoted Comment No, we are not very close. We don't have a bad relationship.

You should just tell him so he doesn’t spend his time and money on you when you clearly don’t value him.

View Quoted Comment No, it is not rude, it may be beyond their control. They may be higher up in the company and can’t leave the conference early. They may have a jerk boss. A client may be meeting with them at that time. I’ve had a few jobs where if I left a conference early, it would have been a problem. Consider that for reasons that may impact their job, they can’t leave early.

View Quoted Comment None of these are the reason. Lol. I wish I could delete threads. Haha. O well.

I do not think it is rude. You use an RSVP to count for food and accommodations for the ceremony, if you're not doing a private cermony it makes it more complicated to have to plan for certain people to show up during the ceremony or possibly late to the reception.
I'd just say something similar to "I'm sorry but the doors to the wedding and reception close at TIME and you will not be able to come after we start, if you would rather attend the conference I understand"
It's upfront that you don't want late comers but not personal that you don't want that specific person left out and shows you understand they had other plans.

View Quoted Comment The conference is completely separate from their job and is completely not mandatory for anyone.

Also where I live showing up late to weddings, baptisms, ect is considered extremely rude. So a lot of times responses to these threads vary because each region has it's own type of ettiquite. I would take any advice on this with a grain of salt.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I think it's hard to explain the full situation or our complete friendship on here too. I also think it's extremely rude, I would be mortified and extremely embarrassed if I arrived late to someone else's wedding!! I would never plan on being late.