How to politely tell our guests absolutley no children?

It's simple- don't invite them. Address the invitations to those who are invited.

It is never polite to point out on an invitation those who are not invited.

On the rsvp card :

We have reserved_____ seats in your honor

____ of 2 will be attending

If someone increases the number, you contact them and tell them you will be unable to accommodate extra guests. If that means they will be unable to attend, you will miss them at the wedding.

Newborns and breast fed babies are an exception.

Theres no real polite way to put it on your invitation. Other then addressing them specifically to the parents and not "the smith family" etc.

I would also put a note on your wedding website (though I know others disagree with me there). I would frame it as "adults only wedding" as apposed to "no kids welcome here" same message, but people like inclusive language more.

I also think word of mouth is a good way, once people know you're having an adults only wedding, they'll tell other people.

A side note though, people are very unlikely to leave newborns, particularly if they're nursing.

View Quoted Comment This is it. It makes them the rude ones for asking. It's your party!

View Quoted Comment I have some bold family members. Save the dates specifically was addressed to those who are invited but I am still having issues.
And I absolutely do not want babies at my wedding so I do not consider that an exception

View Quoted Comment My thoughts are the same! thanks!

View Quoted Comment If someone has a newborn and is breastfeeding they will have to feed frequently and cannot be away from the baby for extended periods of time. If you are okay with the guest not being able to attend because of this that is up to you but that is generally why people make that exception.

I told my family members upfront and in person, they were totally cool with it and were happy. All parents need a night off and a wedding is definitely one of those nights lol. As for a few friends which i think were about 6, we put on the invitation "We have ____ adult seats reserved in your honor. I just got back 4 out of those 6 rsvps and they understood what i meant and said they werent bringing the kiddos anyway lol

You do not have to allow newborns or infants, but it could mean your guest cannot come. Some people make exceptions for that, others do not.

My invites will indicate “Adults only” our immediate family with kids (newborn/breastfed/school aged etc) will be notified ahead those will be the only exceptions for us so they aren’t surprised with when invites are sent out

Honestly I just want to know what I should put on my wedding invitations and wedding website that doesn't come off as rude

It seems like people already know if you are getting backlash. Put only adult names in the envelope and put how many seats are reserved. Keep spreading the word or put it on your website.

View Quoted Comment Don't put anything on the invitations about kids not being invited or about it being adults only. Just address the invitation to who is invited.
You can say it will be adults only on the website. I don't see why people would think a simple statement such as "The wedding is adults only" would be rude.

I'm putting " adults and teenagers only please" on my website and spreading word of mouth. I have a toddler myself!! And she will be the only small child there!! Sorry not sorry haha kids count as guests, plus god forbid they break something and I lose a deposit ( once again, I have a toddler, I know how they are lol) I've seen some people say there's a rule for breastfed babies, but once again, I'm a breastfeeding mother! I know too well that I can pump and give it to the babysitter. If someone absolutely can't leave their baby, they'll stay home. Most of my friends with kids are excited for a night child-free with an open bar haha

View Quoted Comment

There is no polite way to put this on the invitations. If you don't believe us, look it up on an etiquette site, or buy a wedding etiquette book.

The only reference even on a website, should be "adult reception to follow".

People who know etiquette are not going to tell you how to be rude on your invitations.

Lots of people won't leave little babies behind. I think if you won't allow infants you are likely to get a lot of declines.

View Quoted Comment I addressed specifically the adults on my save the dates and people took offense to it-
Some of my family members aren't getting the message and I am concerned that we are not being clear (My familys Italian so - they are bold) and they are going to bring their children anyway

View Quoted Comment Thank you Kristina!

We put "adults only please" on the bottom of our RSVP

I think I would assume my nursing baby was invited, so I get that people might be confused. Of course he comes everywhere with me as I am his food, so it wouldn't occur to me that I was invited somewhere without him even if he wasn't named on the invite. You could always spread by word of mouth that even small babies are unwelcome.

Isn't it amazing that in every single thread like this, people latch onto whatever advice agrees with what they want to do, whether it is polite or not?

Why bother posting if you don't care a whiff about being polite? You do you.