How to nicely say no kids on the invitations?

What I did was put adults only affair on the rsvp of my wedding website.

We are putting "No accommodations made for guests under 15." We also put it on our wedding website when guest rsvp just in case they don't see it or forget.

I put "Evening Adult Reception Following Ceremony" I don't think I'll have problems I'll let you know. Invites go out soon. The reason I decided to have an adult reception is because #1. I'm having a late wedding and evening reception. #2. If people have kids there then they worry about them don't drink as much or let loose. #3. Many people told me that they would rather the invite just say adult reception so they didn't feel obligated to bring their kids and also so they could get a night away without them! lol some adults in your family will look at it as a date night with their spouse which they never have time for anymore because of the kids, so it gives them an excuse not to bring them. Not to mention with budget issues, children are the same price as adults! So for example I am paying for an open bar....even though the children won't drink I still have to pay per head as if they were! Plus families that have 4-5 kids....they will bring all of them so 1 family could end up costing you 300 dollars and they only give you 50 Maybe 100 in a card. So business wise, your going to lose a lot of money.

Oh goodness! Meghan. A wedding shouldn't be looked at as a business in terms of your guests. You invite the people you invite to share in your joy or because of the role they play in your life not because of the potential $$$$ you can make from them via a gift. Tsk Tsk

So we want to ask for no children under the age of ten, except for the bridal party and our nieces and nephews (that we see every week). If we put the request or notice for no kids on the RSVP cards should we put something like "unless specifically requested by the bride and groom" so when people get there and our nieces and nephews are there they won't get even more upset?

I have a similar issue except my two children (they will be 4 and 1), who are in the bridal party, are coming to the reception. I would love for ideas on how to not offend my relatives/cousins who have young children as well.

@Sally Jean How did you end up wording your invitations regarding only specific children being invited?

This is what I am printing on an insert in My invites to give all our guest the opportunity to let there hair down and have a good time without having to worry about little eyes and ears we politely request no children. My children that are 7 and 3 will be there due to there my kids and part of the wedding party. Not to be rude but I don't see anyone else paying for extra food and drinks plus I don't want to have to worry about if there going to run around and knock over the cake or use up all the photo strips in the photo booth because parents are not paying attention or having to worry about if someone said something or did something to offend there child. I will let you know how it's turns out invites go out next week

I have the flower girls, and two cousins that would just have had babies...those are the only exception...I will be messaging them to say your children can go...but i also have two older girls 25 & 18 years old that I am afraid guests will say why are they there. Any suggestions

You never want to point out who isn't invited to the wedding, just who is!

Here are the best etiquette and tips for indicating that you are having an adults-only wedding:

- Address your envelopes specifically to only the invited guests (ex: "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe", not "The Doe Family"

- Add a line to your RSVP card that says "we have reserved ____ seats in your honor" and fill in the number of seats before sending the invitations

- If you still have guests RSVP for their children, you'll need to follow up with them individually! Keep it calm and polite, and just let them know that "due to budget/venue capacity restrictions, we are unable to accommodate additional guests"!

- You can also user inner envelopes to make it super super clear who is invited

- For a final touch - you can fill in the open name field on the RSVP card for your guests, so they can't fill it in themselves

For more etiquette information about kids at weddings, check out this article below:

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/etiquette-advice/kids-in-weddings-etiquette

I included the following statement on our wedding website and on the "Details" insert in my invitation:

"While children are a joy and a blessing, we respectfully ask that this be an adult-only ceremony and reception" and our guest respected our wishes.

No matter what anyone tells you, you don’t have to invite kids to your wedding. Having an adults-only wedding doesn’t mean you hate kids or that you are trying to make your guests’ lives difficult—it’s a decision you’ll make based on what’s best for you, your partner, and your wedding! But there are some ways to communicate this to your guests in a clear and polite manner. We have tips! https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/adults-only-wedding

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100% Agree Jo!

I think that sometimes finances and budget can be a big point of concern when it comes to considering whether or not to invite children. There also comes with that, the concept of it's just what you want... I love kids, and have worked with them for years, I also can't wait to be a mother myself. However, we won't be accommodating children under 10 at our wedding. Many of the children in our families are very extended from us, and therefor we are not very close. It seems silly to me to invite the little ones when, we are already at 254 guests and we are on a budget. It's just not what is right for us. I am going to use some of these ideas on this thread as well... but I already listed it on my wedding website FAQ page, and started spreading the word!

I think the FAQ page idea I got from this thread is awesome! I will also be directly addressing to each individual whom is invited. I think it's a great idea to pay attention to those RSVP cards to see if there has been any children written in, and to call the guests and straighten everything out. As far as I am concerned, I would think it extremely rude to bring your children to a paid-per head/plate bar/dinner affair when it was directly corresponded with the guest not to. If it were to happen and other guests were upset I would be stating that I think it absolutely horrifyingly rude that a guest of mine would disrespect my wishes- and that's that. There's only so much you can do!

We put “For your enjoyment, we request that this remain an adults only occasion”

wherher people like it or not is not something we can control. But it is our day. It’s tough because I’m such a people pleaser, but you need to remember this is about what you two want. And if you don’t want children at the wedding, guests should respect that.

here are mine

This is how we stated it, "While we love your kiddos and enjoy having them around, our wedding is for adults only due to safety and budget reasons. We ask that children be left at home with a sitter so you can be present and ready to celebrate the night away."

We put "adult reception to follow" on our invites and on the RSVP we have "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor" that we will fill in.

I did not put it on my invitations but I did specify this on the wedding website under FAQs... My FH is a teacher and he wanted to invite his whole class. I was like 'oh heck no... there ain't no way we are having 20+ behavior "challenged" kids in this place"! So I have to go all the way drastic.

You put "Adult Reception" on your wedding website. No need to include it in your invitation then. Address wedding invitation to only the Mr/Mrs/Miss and on RSVP card, let them know how many seats they have available. It limits any hassle/drama.

Unfortunately, you are not supposed to put no children invited on the invitation. I was considering putting it on our details card but was advised against it.

So it all depends...if you care about etiquette then don't do it and just put it on your wedding website and make it clear with the RSVP card how many seats you are reserving for the guests. Also, make sure not to add "_____ family", just do the parents names.

I personally find this really frustrating because I feel in todays day in age we should be able to just be clear and people prefer not having any confusion- host and guest. I am nervous people with babies will bring, thinking the kids don't need a seat and I have realized people do not read your wedding website clearly. It's a ridiculous etiquette rule but apparently people get super offended and I decided to go by the book.