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Gen
Champion June 2019

How to justify spending so much money on one day

Gen, on August 7, 2018 at 12:07 PM Posted in Planning 1 59
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To clarify, I’ve cut everything that I can possibly cut without it making the day unenjoyable for myself, FH and/or our guests. We both agreed that the #1 thing we wanted to prioritize was making sure that we weren’t stingy about our guest list, since we feel like having the people we love to us to surround us on our day is the most important part. And of course we want to feed them well, but we have cut every “extra” and are getting most other things very inexpensively.

I feel like every time I look at or think about our budget I feel sick thinking about how much money is being dropped on one day. Even though I KNOW this is what we both want, I just can’t wrap my head around dropping this much money without feeling guilty to myself! I guess, I don’t need help finding ways to reduce expenses (because I don’t think there is anything to cut, or that I’d want to cut) but I just need some help justifying to myself that it’s worth it to spend so much money on one day.

Give me your experiences, tell me why your wedding day was so worth the expense, let me know I’m not alone in wanting this wedding but also feeling sick about how much it’s costing!

59 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on August 8, 2018 at 2:17 PM
  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    We never felt the need to justify it - we booked everything within budget, and knew that this is what we wanted. To celebrate with the most important people in our life, and we knew if we didn't throw a wedding we would have regrets about eloping. If you have already cut all you possibly can to afford this and you are still uncomfortable maybe you need to reevaluate the style of wedding you are having and if a big party is truly what you want. there is nothing wrong with a small dinner ceremony and immediate family only, and then throwing a big anniversary party at 10 years when you feel more financially stable to spend lavishly

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    We do definitely want the style of wedding we are having, and we do have the money for it, I guess I just feel *wrong* spending so much all at once. I’ve never spent this much money at one time on one day before. Even though I know it’s what we want, it’s hard to wrap my head around sometimes
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  • Cheryl&rock
    VIP June 2019
    Cheryl&rock ·
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    Oh my gosh I hear you!! It's our dream, but the cost drives me crazy. I've even thought about just having a court house ceremony, but then wanting loved ones there.
    The only thing I can say is that, yes it is only one day, but it is a day to dedicate our lives to the man we love! To have family and friends there to celebrate with us!
    Our one day is the first day of the rest of our lives!!!
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  • Gonnabeaburch
    Super July 2019
    Gonnabeaburch ·
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    I feel the exact same way. I've been struggling with the cost cutting portion because I tend to take it too far. It helps that FH has painted a clear picture of the things that are important to him and made me realize what is important to me. He's also really good about keeping me in the check on the cost cutting. None the less, I struggle with the feeling of guilt daily. Sorry I'm not much help, but what I can tell you is that you are not alone. I think it's nauseating how much the whole ordeal costs. He set a budget of 10k... I want it to be less. We will see how I do I guess.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Yeah exactly! I thought about having a really small wedding with just immediate family and a couple friends, because initially I really didn’t want to spend more than a few thousand. But then as I started planning that, I felt really sad that I wouldn’t have so many of my loved ones there, and realized this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to have the most important people to us all together in one room, and I felt like I would regret not taking that opportunity! So I am sure that I want to do this, and I don’t regret it, it’s still just like... hard to not feel a twinge of “holy crap, I’m dropping 6 months worth of pay on ONE DAY”
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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    I have gone up and down as far as feeling like its worth it. I know the overall picture is worth it and we are so happy and can afford the wedding we want but at the end of the day we are still dropping a lot of money that could have been used elsewhere. We have considered eloping multiple times, but at the end of the day we are planning the wedding we want to and money is just money, you can't take it with you when you go.

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  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
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    I think it can have a lot to do with paying so much for something and not actually seeing where the money is going. Like when you buy a car, you can physically see and use the car making it seem "worth the money". My sister said that she hated paying so much and not getting anything or experiencing anything. But once the day got close and happened it all felt worth it for her. So I just try to remind myself that this money is going to something I want and I will see and get my moneys worth. I hope that helps!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    No you are helpful! I don’t really need “advice” I guess because I KNOW I am doing what I want to do, I think it’s just nice to hear that I’m not alone in feeling like this!

    Our original budget was 10k, then I realized early on that we couldn’t do what we wanted with that, so we changed it to 15k. As of right now I’m estimating that it’s going to be between 17 and 18 😣 and it’s that high mostly because we added more guests. And I’m really happy that we added those people! I would be very sad if we had not added them, so I don’t regret that decision at all, and it’s totally worth another few thousand to us. It’s just nauseating seeing the number climb...
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  • Candice
    Devoted September 2018
    Candice ·
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    I didn’t want to spend more than $500 on a dress I’d wear once for a couple of hours. My FSIL and I went to try on dresses and she encouraged me to just try different styles because then I’d have a better idea of the type of dress I wanted. I had no idea I’d fall in love with one of the dresses. It was $1500. I looked all over for a copycat and eventually settled on one that was about $300. It was missing a few details I loved about the original dress and came in with a few alterations needed. I was pretty torn up with Dress Regret and told FH about it.

    He suggested I go try on the original dress again. If I still loved it, he told me to buy it. If I didn’t, we would do the work on the dress I had. Of course I still loved it! And it ended up being on sale that day.

    I do not like overspending, but he helped me justify it by reminding me that I’m happier when I’m wearing that dress and more comfortable AND I feel more beautiful. That is the only part of our wedding where we went over budget and it feels worth it. I guess I’ll find out in 24 days!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Very true! Yeah we are the same way. We can afford it and we do want it, and I know it will be worth it, but it’s still just so hard to wrap my head around the cost. It’s comforting to know other people feel the same way!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    It definitely does, thank you! You’re so right about it being harder when you don’t directly see where the money is going. I feel like that’s also why it’s so important to me to make sure we have tons of photos from the wedding too, because that’s really the only tangible thing we’ll be able to take away from it
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    You’re so right, I’m so glad you decided to get the dress that made you happy! I feel like we went through a similar process with our guest list, actually. We were trying to keep it below 100, and it wasn’t until we sent out the Save the Dates that I started to feel... guest list regret, I guess? Like about 20ish people that we had cut from the original list and I suddenly felt so awful that we wouldn’t be having them at our wedding. We decided to invite 20 more people and I felt so much better. I knew I’d regret not having those extra people who are important to me!

    Literally our guest list is the only thing we are really “splurging” on. We cut soo many extra things so that we could afford to have more people, and to feed them well. I don’t feel like I’ll regret this at all, it’s just very daunting seeing the amount of money it all costs
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  • Gonnabeaburch
    Super July 2019
    Gonnabeaburch ·
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    I can completely understand that. I'm really nervous about watching it climb but I am still in the early planning stages so right now so our number is still pretty low. I have bought my dress, we are booking our venue in the next few weeks, and I have estimates for two meals (reception and day after breakfast) and our current total for those three is $3100. I'm happy with the prices, but I'm sure once we start adding details, rentals, and more vendors it's going to climb fast.
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  • Fiona
    Expert October 2018
    Fiona ·
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    I am not viewing our wedding as “one day” I am viewing it as the rest of our life. We have a very close family and close friend group and the memories that have been made along the way of planning so far have been amazing, I can’t even begin to imagine how amazing it will feel to enter our new life as husband and wife with such a beautiful event to celebrate. Now I do not believe that anyone should go into debit for a wedding and weddings should not be put on a credit card for anything other than the points! But if you can swing it don’t feel guilty about anything! It will be the biggest day of your life but it’s not one day, it’s your whole future!
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  • Lacie
    Devoted September 2018
    Lacie ·
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    The only thing making me justify it or not feel guilty about spending so much is knowing I will get to have all my family there. I didn't want to invite family that I haven't seen in 3 + years but because parents are helping pay they wanted to invite them anyways. We invited around 280 guests (This includes co-workers and church members, so not all family). No idea on how many will come though. I would have loved to elope somewhere, preferably the mountains, but even our immediate family is still about 30 people and would of had a lot of hurt feelings not inviting all family or any friends.

    FH and I are also not the kind of people to host parties or get togethers anyways. So we decided to just go all out and host a big "party" for one night to celebrate us and everyone in our lives because it is not something we would do again. Also with the fact that my sister passed away when I was younger, so being an only child currently my mom had all sorts of ideas and things she would mention to me that I should do, (which just comes off as like its her thing she is putting together)

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  • L
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Lauren ·
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    I totally agree with the one day and spending the money. We are doing alot of diy things. And cutting down on certain things. We both have a son from a previous relationship so we want to begin our life together saving money for our home we just bought. Not planning on having kids together. Were 30 and my son is 14 and FHs is 5. I guess it depends on how you look at things. We are expecting about 80 ppl at wedding including wedding party and our budget is less than 5k. Simple rustic wedding at small church. Ive bought glass soda drinks for FH and kids to drink so i can use glasses for flower vases. Ive shopped at local dollar stores, wal mart, sales at crafts stores, even yard sales for things for our wedding. If you have the money to spend on the wedding of your dreams, go for it. If you have it but want to save as well, look at options. No one has to know that you may of bought flowers for tables at dollar tree. 😁 this is a day about you and your FH. Make it what you both want!
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  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
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    I can definitely empathize with you! For us, spending $10,000 on one day of our lives seems so crazy but then I think about all my family and friends that get to celebrate with me on the day where we make a HUGE life decision! $10,000 to celebrate what will end up being a lifetime of memories makes me feel better about it!

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  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
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    Oooo I so understand how you feel. You can afford it but it’s just the feeling of spending so much on one day that makes you feel like you are shallow or being wasteful in a way. Only way I can justify it is this is one day where you want to have the time of your life. You deserve it!! You work hard for your money and have the right to do as you please with it. It’ll also bring joy to others by partaking in this lovely day and being fed well! If you give to others a lot or don’t splurge often then keep telling yourself you are just paying yourself back for being such a good person :-). Maybe also incorporate some other way to give back during the wedding. Other things I’ve considered for my wedding is donating the flowers to a retirement home/veterans home/hospital after the reception, box up all left over food and donate to a homeless shelter, etc.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    That is a great way to look at it, thank you!
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  • Kimmi
    Dedicated September 2018
    Kimmi ·
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    I honestly have had no financial qualms about the wedding. We set a budget within our financial abilities and we have been really good at sticking to it. In order to stay within our budget we were practical about our guest list and made tough cuts but ultimately it will be our nearest and dearest celebrating by our side. We continued to reallocate funds as needed all along the way. We saved money everywhere we could that wouldn't hinder our guests experience including Zazzle/Vistaprint invitations, sheet cake, and a cheaper florist along with lots of thrift store finds and Michaels DIY. To us, the most important thing was for our guests to be well hosted and for them to have fun! To me, a wedding is not just a party, it's the joining of two families (and friends) all together. Like a sorta class reunion (friends) and familiy reunion all in one! I am so excited that my fiance and I will be surrounded by the people we love most in the world and that they will be able to meet and mingle as one big family! The wedding is a celebration to thank all those we love in our lives!

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