How to justify spending so much money on one day

I am right there with you! I have been working two jobs this summer and work while going to school full time. I often question why I put myself through it all. My FH and I agreed that it is worth the work to have a more "lavish" wedding. I truly feel that the saying "life is short" is all too real. Our wedding will give us a chance to celebrate surrounded by those most important to us in a day that will not be forgotten (by us at least). You really never know what moment will be your last or when you may suddenly lose a loved one. I agree that it is certainly the fact that I have not personally made big expenses in life until now. I think it is also difficult because you continue to make payments and have not experienced your wedding day yet. Anticipation is killing me

View Quoted Comment Very relatable! Yeah I just graduated from school a few months ago and am thinking about how hard I’ve been working at my job since then, and then realized all the money I made so far since graduating isn’t even as much as the wedding will cost, and that was a terrifying thought 😂

I guess we can’t let our minds go there though! It’s about more than just the one day.

It's going to be one of the best days of your life. It's a momentous occasion and it should be celebrated! We are doing a low budget Vegas wedding but we'll still have around 30 people and a reception but we wanted to keep it lower cost so we can enjoy our time in Vegas.

View Quoted Comment Aw I’m glad you made that decision to invite those guests you’d miss on your special day! It does cost more, but money is replenishable. Your wedding day is not

We had a wedding and reception only because we wanted a space to bring our families and friends together. Providing that space can be expensive as it is when you host any large party. We live in different parts of the country and my parents are elderly and don't travel much. So, despite DH and I having been together for 10 years, our families had never met. This was the opportunity for that to happen. I am pretty minimalist and anti-consumerism, so I certainly couldn't justify spending more than we did on our wedding - which to me was still a lot of money. I would much rather give $10k more dollars to a worthwhile charity than spend it on a wedding, even if it meant having 100 more of my family and friends there (and literally every married person I know who had a big expensive wedding says it wasn't worth it). I value experiences more than "stuff" so that's what I splurge on in my personal spending. So for the wedding I just focused our spending on the "experience": food, music, venue. That's also money that goes directly into other people's pockets (in the case of my venue, helps support the work they do "for real" which is being a museum that showcases important history). I think I spent less than $1000 on actual physical goods that would only be used once (dress) or become trash (invitations, flowers). I guess all that is how I justified spending what we did. That being said, I would have loved to have spent even less, and I have seen and been to lovely weddings that did, but we didn't really have a lot of diy options, which is what that usually takes.

View Quoted Comment I know. I still cringe. We still have things to do and buy and it drives me nuts.
I've cut costs on things that I feel I wouldn't regret later down the road.
Hopefully we will feel it was all worth it in the end!
If only their, the vendors, prices weren't so off the charts!! But as long as couples are willing to pay the price they'll continue to get higher!!
I paid for my two daughters weddings and they cost nothing compared to ours now!!! Lucky for them!!!
So, in closing, you're not alone!! Congrats and happy planning!!

I feel guilty spending all this money on one day. We did cut corners though and settled for some things because of cost but we don't regret it. We rather start a marriage with no debt. Also, my fiance and I are saving for a house and to us, that is more important. We did make sure that the we didn't skimp on the photographer. Memories will last a lifetime.

View Quoted Comment

It is one day, but you're so right about having the family there. I originally was going to elope but I'm SO glad I'm not. I'm going to have so many beautiful professional photos with loved ones that I have limited time with on this Earth. You can't put a price tag on that, the memories last a lifetime. My fiancé actually justified it to me and said "we can always make more money." Life is short

View Quoted Comment

That's what I always say! You can always make more money but you can't make another wedding day. I guess I should listen to myself hahah, I consciously know all these things it's just overwhelming seeing all the huge expenses all put together

View Quoted Comment

That sounds really nice, I'm sure you will have a great time in Vegas too!

View Quoted Comment

That's a great way to prioritize, to spend your money on experiences rather than tangible things that will get thrown away! Our top priorities were 1) having all the people we care about 2) feeding them well and 3) hosting them at a nice venue. More than 50% of our budget is being spent on the catering (which includes cocktail hour and entrees) since we paid for good food and we have a lot of guests. But you're right, I feel much better about my splurges being on having my guests there and making them happy, rather than on things like invites or flowers that will go in the trash.

View Quoted Comment

Yeah the rising prices are completely crazy! My mom's wedding (25 years ago) was 10k total. She is helping me plan my wedding now, and she has been shocked the entire time at the costs of things. She said that the way I am prioritizing and what I am choosing to spend the money on is basically the exact same as what she did, but our budget is coming out 7k higher than hers. We are having about 40 more guests than she did, but that only accounts for about 2k of the difference. It's crazy how basically the exact same type of wedding can cost 150% more a couple decades later...... my gosh, I'm terrified to imagine how much MY future children's weddings will cost, yikes.

View Quoted Comment

That is so true! Well said by him

Thank you so much to everyone who has commented... you all are making me feel infinitely less anxious about this, and even more confident and excited about our decision!

I feel like I could have written this post as I am experiencing the exact same thing. It’s been so difficult, especially with what I’m noticing is that there are so many hidden fees that are completely blowing our budget, so even with the cheapest options, we’re paying twice what we thought. It sucks, and I keep explaining it as if it’s raining and you forgot your umbrella, so you try to scurry around to stay dry. But then you say “Screw it, my hair is already ruined” and you just dance in the rain instead and even though you’re getting wet and ruining your outfit, at least you’re making memories and having fun. (That probably wasn’t very helpful lol)

View Quoted Comment OMG that actually weirdly makes SO much sense and that’s such a strange but accurate analogy to how I feel hahahaha

We've gotten stressed about money thinking how are we going to pay for all of this and it always ends up working out for us.. but to me it's going to be so worth it. Especially since the things I'm spending the most money towards are the things that are the most important to me when it comes to my wedding. I feel like it's just so worth it to me. I know it's just a day but it's a special day

View Quoted Comment Then again, I do yell “Wedding’s cancelled!” out loud every time I get a new invoice 😂 but in all seriousness, you’ve made it this far, you can make it to the end and have a beautiful day because of it!

The cost of one day of our live to get married justifies how much we do spend and its no joke what amounts gets spent so fast.

The best thing I did with the vendors was to bargain and save more plus cash deals only. Centerpeices with floral balls/Money Box rentals and backdrop rentals costs were cheaper too since I didn't end up keeping them after.

Online purchases saved me tons and half of it was free because it was late or no show. Some were way late and I got to keep it for free and got a refund on top. Amazon and Ebay were my best friends for that reason and still is.

Guest favours cost was way less with the store discount given along with the glass hurricanes and champagne flutes.

Things not splurged on were florist, transportation, wedding insurance and decorator. Their starting prices are worth 1/4 of the budget set.