how to handle late responses

It is awful. I went through the same thing but in the end we decided to make the calls and confirm if people were coming or not. Most of our guest are from OOT and we didn't want people showing up that would not be able to attend. Just tell them that you need to know now otherwise you will just assume that they won't be able to make it

I pray this doesn't happen to me. How horrible!

I would first make sure they got their invitation...never know. Then explain you need their response immediately, as the RSVP date has passed.

I had a lot people who didn't respond too. Just call each one and say something along the lines of "I sent out my wedding invitations a few weeks ago, and I was just wondering if you are going to be able to make it"

Even though you're angry about it, don't accuse them or be confrontational. Just politely ask whether they are coming or not. If they try to give you a noncommittal answer, be firm and say something like "I really need a definite answer to give my caterer. I know you've got a lot going on. I would really love to have you at my wedding, but I understand if you can't make it." A lot of times people don't want to say no directly because they feel bad or think you would be upset.

Call them up or email. (please don't text them)

Tell them that you've noticed that they haven't sent back their RSVP card - and the venue you're using for the wedding requires an official headcount by x date so they can begin preparations. Any RSVPS that you haven't received will be automatically assumed as not attending.

Something to add: You need to be completely straight forward and don't beg. Basically - if they don't give you their RSVP card back they will not be in attendance.

I'm giving them 3 days after my RSVP deadline, then on the 4th day I will be calling everyone between 9-10am, if I don't get you on the phone, I'll leave a voicemail, you have to call me by 5PM if not we are sorry but we have to give a head count to our caterer by 5:30 as much as we love you and love to see you celebrate with us, we have to mark you as not attending if you don't call us back by then.

NO EXCEPTIONS, after 5Pm our rsvp feature on the website will be disabled and we will not make any exceptions, I don't have time to babysit anyone, they're all adults.

Call or email and tell them that if you don't hear from them by X (either your original RSVP or a new deadline), you will have to count them out.

Dang - I like Patricia J's response! She's down to business!!

I'd give them the deadline to call me back by 7p.m. though (just because I work 8-6 and sometimes don't get home until 7)

I won't be sending my invites out for several months now, and I have to say that's the part of the wedding process I am dreading the most!! I think the only thing you can do is what the other ladies have already suggested. I think calling them would be more appropriate because sometimes people can misinterpret the tone of an e-mail. A lot of times people get invites and put them in a drawer and totally forget about them so calling would be best to get an instant response. And I agree with Lyndon... do NOT let them give you a wishy-washy response. If a response is "oh, well we're coming back from being out of town that night before so we MAY be there..." In our language... that's a NO. Don;t back down, hold your ground and get an answer!! Good luck!

My deadline is not until September 1st so I have been posting things to FB and our wedding website letting people know we need their RSVPs sooner than later. After September 1st, I will make some calls and to finalized no later than September 10th. Afterward, I'm done. I will them send out a final email to everyone letting them know we got our final RSVPs and if they didn't RSVP too late. This is to let them know not to still show up because there will be no where for them to sit or nothing to eat! Again, we are joking on FB about it now (mostly FW) but in the end, I'm going to get serious about it. It will be mostly people from FW side of the family! They are all procrastinators! It’s what I am marrying into!

Patricia: I LOVE that message. I will definitely be using it when I make my calls. With all the money we spent on STDs and invites (not to mention they've had access to the website for almost a year), there is no excuse for them not to tell us if they are attending.

When is your count to the venue or caterer required? If you can, I'd wait 'til Saturday to start calling people - I think some people mistakenly believe that they just have to have the RSVP mailed by the RSVP date. Our deadline is Wed the 17th and we're still missing RSVPs from 50ish people out of 165. I plan to start calling/emailing them on the Saturday after the RSVP date, but we also gave ourselves 2.5 weeks before our final count was due to reach everyone. If you can't reach them, just kindly let them know that you need to know by __ date (say a few days before the final count is due or a week after you call or something) whether or not they can make it. If they still don't get back to you on that final date, I'd try giving them one last chance and call again, letting them know that you need to know by the end of the night whether they can come and that unfortunately you'll have to count them out if you don't hear back 'cause you have to tell the vendor the final count.

Yes me too! I think i'll be using that exact message when I make my calls Thursday morning. I'll give them til 7pm on Thursday night! I'm still crossing my fingers that I'll get a bunch in the mail today when I get home!

Oh, you may also want to start out with the line "I haven't heard back from you yet about whether you can come, I hope you received the wedding invite!" Make it all sweet and they'll hopefully feel badly if they didn't respond. (And you cover your bases in case the post office really did lose their invite. )