How to handle a recovering alcoholic with regards to the reception.

We are using sparkling grape juice for our toast. Use whatever you want!

My FH and I are both sober. I have 6 years and he has 3 years. We are both comfortable around alchohol but decided to do a beer and wine cash bar at wedding because about 40% of our guest are also sober. We want family members who drink to have the option to have some wine or beer but this helps avoid anyone getting wasted. Both of our families know our past and how hard we have worked so they are very supportive and are ok with it.

If he only has 5 months and no type of support then I would strongly suggest doing a dry wedding. A wedding is full of all the people who love and support you and I know they will understand.

Does he have a sponsor? His sponsor should be working with him to prepare for this. Any life changes can be triggers....if he doesn't have a sponsor and go to meetings, now is the time to start. Good luck.

ps. Be careful to not get into codependency...this should be an issue he is concerned about--and he should be more concerned than you are.

Tricia congrats on 4 years! We are also doing a sparkling grape juice for the toast. Def talk to your FH and see what he is comfortable doing.

I mostly wanted to say- Thank you Shannon~ "There's not enough space in a marriage for elephants in the room." I absolutely love this!

I have little experience with alcoholics or sobriety myself... but if he's going it alone, with no sponsor or no network, then it sounds like a dry event is probably the best for you.

I had a boyfriend who was an "alcoholic" who had to make a serious change and did it on his own, however once he broke the habit of his "partying" ways he's now able to drink socially without going to far or will choose not to drink. He's been very able to handle his "alcoholism" without any structured support.... but if your FH has to be at zero booze ever or he'll always go to far, and it's something that he'll deal with for life, then I believe that some type of structured support (AA, or something) might be helpful in the long run, especially if he's not willing to talk about it you (which I assume he's therefor dealing with it 100% on his own, and we're not always as strong alone as we want to be.)

I hadn't read all the posts or updates...

If he's not in a program, having alcohol at the wedding is risky. Maybe skip it, but you need to talk to him about this. The great thing about AA or a rehab program is that it will provide structure and help regarding triggers in any situation -- so that if someone hands him alcohol, or if he's craving a drink, he knows how to handle it. Programs offer coping mechanisms that alcoholics don't have on their own. But for now, a dry wedding seems appropriate. He's so young his his sobriety.

I haven't had a drink in more than 12 years and FH doesn't like alcohol...we are having an open bar for our guests but sparkling cider for us during the toast.

Get some help on this one. Rarely can anyone stop drinking on their own. I've seen it done..but it's rare. We call them dry drunks. Disease needs to be treated and alcoholism is a disease. Good luck.