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Dedicated September 2020

How to ask people not to give actual gift?

Amanda, on February 7, 2020 at 3:40 PM Posted in Registry 1 17
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We've lived together for a while, and both had our own places before that. We don't need any house things, but people still want to give us gifts. I was thinking of adding this to the invites since we have a kid;


"We already have a home together, we do not need matieral things. If you'd like to give us something, give us fun date nights or new experiences we can do together as a married couple and as a family!"

17 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    No gifts, especially monetary, should be mentioned on invitations. Just skip the registry and people will give cash gifts that you can use for whatever you want.

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  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I agree. I wouldn’t mention it an don’t register anywhere and people give cash or gift cards. It worked for us
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Rockstar February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag

    I agree with PP's. Foolproof method from past brides and maintains politeness Smiley smile

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  • M
    Expert January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    Thirding that there's no need to mention it. And if anyone asks where you are registered or what you would like, you are free to say that you aren't registered anywhere but you are saving up for X (e.g., a family vacation, amusement park passes, date nights).

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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    It is so odd to me, that even though EVERYONE is going to want to know or ask, that it is "rude" to let everyone know collectively NOT to provide a useless gift, when everyone knows wedding gifts are a thing. Guess my family is different than the rest of society, I'd rather be told what someone wants than have to guess lol.
    • Reply
  • Latonya
    Devoted April 2021
    Latonya ·
    • Flag
    This was great reading this because I was thinking about canceling our registries as well so that we could get monetary gifts towards our new home
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Most people don't bring physical gifts to weddings anyway. I've never seen a physical gift at a wedding, except for one at my own, that was intended to be used during the reception. People don't typically show up at weddings with toasters that the couple didn't ask for. Everyone is well aware that cash is a good gift without being told.

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  • Samantha
    Dedicated July 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    We did a very small registry at Target for some small things and then on our website, where everyone will be RSVP'ing, I added "A Little Note of Gifts: The most important thing is to have you with us on our special day. No gifts are needed or expected, however, we have been asked what we need or what we would like, so we have registered at Target. And, if you do wish to give us something, please consider helping us build our future together; gift cards for Home Depot would be greatly appreciated."



    I added the part about "building our future" because we own our home and we're going to be renovating it after the wedding. As someone mentioned about, my family/friends all agreed that it was okay to share what we actually want/need on our website. I'd rather know what someone REALLY needs than buy them something useless.


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  • Leslie
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Leslie ·
    • Flag
    I just put “no gifts please” on the invitation as well as the website. Short and sweet.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    This exactly. People already know money is a good gift, without being told. There are so.many posts here made about gifts, how to get them, how to get more of them, how to tell people what to get, and really, the simplest answer is the best one: don't mention them at all; if anyone asks, tell them what you are saving up for.

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  • Neeva
    Super September 2020
    Neeva ·
    • Flag

    I would put the information you wrote on the website FAQ page. I would write no physical gifts please.

    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    If anyone asks, you literally just say "we don't have a registry!"


    Super simple. People know cash is a good gift.

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  • Cherry
    Expert February 2020
    Cherry ·
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    So the consensus is to not put any mention of gifts on the invitation. But it's OK to mention it on the website or by word of mouth.


    We didn't put anything on our website about gifts and now we've had a bunch of people ask us where we're registered or what they can buy us. We didn't think we'd get so many questions, because everyone on WW advised that people would just 'get it' and would bring cash. LOL it turns out people like a little more instruction.


    So I'd mention it on your wedding website, the same way you did here. That you don't need anything, per se, but would love to have experiences. Then people will KNOW you mean money and won't be bugging you for the weeks leading up to the wedding. It's definitely an awkward conversation to have with someone. "We don't need anything, but your money is greatly appreciated. Thanks! Byeeee!" Smiley xd

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    Skip a shower of any kind, and just don't register. You can tell immediately family and bridesmaids in case someone asks them but people will get the hint when they see you don't have a registry.

    • Reply
  • Ali
    Savvy September 2021
    Ali ·
    • Flag

    Most invitations that I've personally received came with a registry card, providing the information with the registry information. I've been invited to "cash showers" where there wasn't a registry so in lieu of the registry card, they provided a little poem saying that. I think that would apply in your case. I know I prefer a registry over a cash shower but I REALLY like how you're asking for experiences/date nights. I think guest can get creative with that and honestly it could be more cost effective than the typical registry items. Personally, I look for the registry card so I don't think it would be rude if you added the extra "experience card".

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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Yesss. Neither of our families are "cash" type. Like. At all. You get a GIFT. Anddd I don't want another blender or silverware lmao.
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Thanks! Neither of us have family that give cash... Like... Ever. So I'm worried we will just get home use items, cause they're mainly older.
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