How to address save the dates

His girlfriend should be addressed by her name, not “guest.”


Mr. Father Doe and Ms. Father’s GirlfriendMr. Son Doe

How old is his son? If he’s over 18 he’s technically supposed to get a separate invite. Could you ask what the girlfriend’s name is prior to sending?

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His son is 11 so he would be included on his father's invite. I think my biggest roadblock with the girlfriend is that I know her first name, but not her last name!

Ask him for his girlfriend’s last name. Or check Facebook or something lol. Then address it:


Mr John Doe, Ms Jane Smith, & Mr. Son Doe

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Got it! I just need to ask for her last name

Thank you!

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Gotta love Facebook investigating! lol

So the girlfriend would go before the son? I'm thinking I'll do the son on a separate line altogether.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I’d put the son on a separate line!

You could do "The ____ Family & Guest"

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I would probably do:

Mr. Name and Ms. Name

Kid's name

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Noooooo. Never address a girlfriend or boyfriend directly. If they breakup, you run into a very awkward situation. Etiquette is almost ALWAYS & Guest.

If the son is over 18, he should receive his own invitation "Mr. John Doe Jr. & Guest"

If he is under 18 I would go with the above recommendation of "The Doe Family & Guest"

View Quoted Comment Where did you hear this? Etiquette states to address guests by name if you are extending the invitation to an explicit person. Guest is an open invitation that means your invited person can bring whom ever they choose.

View Quoted Comment That’s false. It’s incredibly rude to call someone’s significant other “guest.” They’re people with names.

View Quoted Comment Hey all! Just going off what mu wedding planner as well as several other vendors including our invitation designer indicated. For save the dates you do not need to put their name, for invitations names are appropriate.


The rationale given is if couples break up, they may still bring a plus one. I was told also if you know the couple well, or as in close friends, or engaged, it is acceptable to put a name on the save the date.
Just what I was told. Do you! I don’t think it’s rude to put and guest, especially if you do not know the individual personally. 😊

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Makes sense to me! I've only met his girlfriend once so we're not close but she was nice, and I would like to allow my single folks to bring a plus one. The truly single guests are just getting save the dates addressed to themselves, of course. The other guests who are unmarried but dating or engaged, their SO is also being invited to the wedding so they're getting addressed together as "Mr ___ and Ms ___" (since they all live together!) This couple is the only wild card in that they are dating and live together but I don't know his girlfriend (aside from the 5 min I met her before!)

I'm thinking I'll just address him and his son on the save the date and then on the formal invitation I'll just him and his son and allow a guest

If you use 'and guest' that covers his cousin or his buddies, not necessarily his girlfriend. If she is not available, are you fine with him bringing anyone he wants to fill the seat? That is what and guest, or plus one means. If you want only someone he is dating, call and ask the person's name. Make out a separate invitation to that person's address. Or put that person's name on a separate line. Mr. John Tweet, Mr. James Tweet, Ms. Matilda Foot. If Matilda is going somewhere else that day, then you get a decline, not a stranger.

The son should get his own invite with his GF name. If they break up, and you write guest... well... that opens other doors. Its easier to be specific.